Parents Traveling for Work

[AuH2O]

When the whole "it's all about quality time not quantity time" idea was around I had a friend who had 3 young boys said that was ridiculous what really matters is being there as much as possible because you never know when and how many of those special moments there will be.

Based on a lot of the newer parents I know, it seems that "it's about quality time, not quantity of time" has been replaced by "you have to take care of yourself." So now guilt-free child neglect extends to child-free leisure activities on weekends and evenings.

 

[Dopey]

The magnitude of time you spend with your kids is overrated. And I mean that.

How much "time" do people spend with their kids while they're distracted on their phone? Does that count?

There's days I only see my kids for 90 minutes. But I soak it up. We wrestle. Do homework. Practice baseball.

Find your balance. But when you're with them, make them feel important.

 

[Dopey]

Based on a lot of the newer parents I know, it seems that "it's about quality time, not quantity of time" has been replaced by "you have to take care of yourself." So now guilt-free child neglect extends to child-free leisure activities on weekends and evenings.

I literally just posted the quality over quantity thing. But I'm also not the type of person who ditches my young kids to take a week long vacation. I agree that there's a bit of a difference.

 

[throwittoblythe]

Back in the '90s I traveled 6 days a week in for about 6 weeks in April-May and then again the same amount in Sept-Oct. Being in the seed industry does that. Our daughter was the oldest so my wife just loved taking her to dance class all the time. I was home on the weekends for soccer, etc, and made it to the majority of our kids events. Sure I've changed jobs a couple times but the companies I worked for always told me that we don't expect you to miss family events. I guess I focused on my job more so bosses would get the fact of my dedication and going above and beyond the call of duty at times. Still though, I missed a few things over the years. I would have trips that would last a week, but was able to use time away on weekends as comp time. My wife has been a stay at home mom and works out of the house. I was able to take my youngest with us on trip to Puerto Rico a couple years ago. So that helps the cause out. You should be fine with what you are doing. Personally, I can't wait to get out on the road again!

Thanks! Sounds like you had a great approach/perspective on things. One boss I had gave me a great piece of advice: it's not really how much you travel, it's how much flexibility you have over that travel. My job affords me some flexibility. So, if there's a recital or birthday, or something I do not want to miss, I can control my schedule and make sure I'm there for it.

The important thing, to me, is to keep things in perspective as well. Would it be ideal if I could spend every waking moment with my kids? Probably not healthy. Would it be ideal if I were gone all the time? Definitely not. The answer, as always, is in the murky middle. But, I think it's important to keep in my why you travel. If it's part of your job, that job puts food on the table (my wife is a SAHM too) and a roof over everyone's head. My oldest is 6 now. So, it's to the point where she will whine about me having to leave for work. But I try to always explain to her why I have to go away and how I'll be back as soon as I possibly can.

I do also think absence makes the heart grow fonder and a little time away for everyone is healthy, within reason. It's good for me to get out from behind the desk, and good for us all to realize how much we miss each other when we're apart.

 

[AuH2O]

The magnitude of time you spend with your kids is overrated. And I mean that.

How much "time" do people spend with their kids while they're distracted on their phone? Does that count?

There's days I only see my kids for 90 minutes. But I soak it up. We wrestle. Do homework. Practice baseball.

Find your balance. But when you're with them, make them feel important.

Yeah I was sort of joking, but I see a lot of parents that think going on a huge vacation or doing something every once in a while on weekends is more important than lots of daily interactions and conversations. Most of what kids need to learn comes from parents and happens on seemingly mundane daily activities.