Purchasing an Engagement Ring
- Thread starter Cyinthenorth
- Start date
Nice idea with the proposal. Another area I'm currently debating on. Her mom passed away a few years back, and I've played around with the idea of taking her to the cemetery where she's buried and pulling the ring out next to her mom's grave.
I've had people tell me this is a great idea, but am aware it could also come off as a bit dark.
Yeah, I don't know that I'd pull that move.
I also got my mount from one store and the stone from a diamond dealer. The dealer only had a 4 pronged mount and I wanted a 6 pronged one for stone security.
Another tip, if you want it to be the right size when you give it to her, watch if she ever wears a ring on the ring finger of either hand. If so, get a hold of that ring and have it sized. Even if she wears it on the right hand, they are generally the same or nearly the same size so your ring will be really close to correct when you give it to her. I couldn't get that ring away from her for long but tried it on my fingers and discovered it fit one of my pinkies so I could just size that pinkie for her ring size.
On a related note, you also should ask to take a look at your stone through their gem microscope when you take it in for cleaning or repair unless it never leaves your sight. That way they know you know exactly what your stone looks like. If you have to leave it there ask to look at it again when you pick it up. You can also do a quick diagram of the flaws for your reference. There have been cases of less reputable jewelers switching people's stones for ones of lesser quality so they can sell the purloined stone.
Another tip, if you want it to be the right size when you give it to her, watch if she ever wears a ring on the ring finger of either hand. If so, get a hold of that ring and have it sized. Even if she wears it on the right hand, they are generally the same or nearly the same size so your ring will be really close to correct when you give it to her. I couldn't get that ring away from her for long but tried it on my fingers and discovered it fit one of my pinkies so I could just size that pinkie for her ring size.
On a related note, you also should ask to take a look at your stone through their gem microscope when you take it in for cleaning or repair unless it never leaves your sight. That way they know you know exactly what your stone looks like. If you have to leave it there ask to look at it again when you pick it up. You can also do a quick diagram of the flaws for your reference. There have been cases of less reputable jewelers switching people's stones for ones of lesser quality so they can sell the purloined stone.
Appreciate the feedback. In addition to talking sports, I also like to use CF as a guinea pig for my not-always-so-great ideas.You obviously know her better than we do but..
I felt like I got a better deal by buying the diamond, and having them set it. But I was going for the simple look--not a lot of crap on the ring other than the diamond. The wedding band had plenty of that extra crap!
I'll agree with clarity and color being more important than size. Of course size is important, but she doesn't want a big dull yellow diamond.
I'll agree with clarity and color being more important than size. Of course size is important, but she doesn't want a big dull yellow diamond.
SIAP, look into a personal articles policy or something of that nature. While most homeowners policies (this includes renters) cover jewelry they are generally subject to deductible and named perils. There is however personal articles policies that cover all perils and have a zero deductible.
Who knows yellow diamonds may become a big deal. Hell they took diamonds they just about couldn't give away because of terrible color and marketed them as "chocolate diamonds" to create a market for them and amazingly a whole market was created out of thin air.
This is probably a good time for me to restate another safety reminder.
Rings are for boys and girls who aren't doing heavy or dangerous jobs. If you are doing physical labor leave your ring on the night stand and make sure you come home to your sweetie safe and in one piece. I know of too many people who have lost a finger due to a ring catching on something as innocuous as a basketball net or the back of a hay rack. I also have heard of someone being electrocuted when his ring contacted and wedged in a live electrical panel. It isn't worth the risk for sentimentality. Explain to him or her why you are doing it and live up to your vows so they don't have to worry.
Rings are for boys and girls who aren't doing heavy or dangerous jobs. If you are doing physical labor leave your ring on the night stand and make sure you come home to your sweetie safe and in one piece. I know of too many people who have lost a finger due to a ring catching on something as innocuous as a basketball net or the back of a hay rack. I also have heard of someone being electrocuted when his ring contacted and wedged in a live electrical panel. It isn't worth the risk for sentimentality. Explain to him or her why you are doing it and live up to your vows so they don't have to worry.
It was special to her specifically because I'm not a Casanova. Just trying to give him ideas on how to personalize the moment and make it special. She was expecting it on the trip so I tried to find a way to surprise her anyway.
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We did something similar. In the early 90's, we lived in the Chicago area and went to a jeweler in the Jewelers' Row downtown Chicago. They were great. We ended up designing our own rings and they built them for us. Very affordable. Great quality. Much better than just going to a store.
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If this fits your relationship with her, then I suppose you could do it. Do you spend a lot of time with her at her mother's grave? Creeps me out. In fact, I'm a little scared about replying to your post.
I was recommended Jeweler's Mutual (it's not a GEICO company; GEICO just sourced all of their jewelry coverage through them) by Joseph's Jewelers because the claims experience at least on their end with other big insurance companies apparently wasn't great with little things like where you can get a replacement from, types of loss and service. Definitely worth looking into what exactly is covered and not; adding it on to a Homeowners/renters or a personal article policy might have a list of excluded losses. Haven't had a claim yet and hopefully won't need it.
Her mother was the nearest and dearest person to her in life. She was, and still is devastated by the loss (it was breast cancer). I thought it would be symbolic in a way, of being able to do this in front of her mom. Obviously I will get her father's blessing, but this would be the closest I could get to including her mom. If any of that makes sense...which it's starting to less and less.
Seems like you want to make this special for you and her, not focus so much on it being part of her grief. Maybe go to her mother's grave later to "show her" the ring and "include" her in the big day.
"A conditional gift is one where the giver gives the gift to the receiver with the expectation that some future event or action will take place. If the agreed-upon event does not occur or the agreed-upon condition is not met, then the gift-giver has the right to get the gift back. The majority of courts classify engagement rings as a conditional gift, and award the engagement ring to the giver in broken engagement cases."
https://family.findlaw.com/marriage/what-happens-to-the-engagement-ring-in-a-broken-engagement.html
