Friday OT - It's All Relative

Holy crap Cooler. Your family is awesome.

To provide some balance to the good stories:

My SIL has wrecked 4 cars, gotten thrown out of clubs, declared bancruptcy, had property repossessed during a drug sting, and was the cause of a stabbing that involved her boyfriend and some dude she was shacking up with.
 
My maternal grandmother was an entertainment director at [FONT=helvetica, arial, sans-serif] Navy hospital in Provincetown, RI. She got to meet several celebrities during her time there. Her claim to fame was that she was hit on by Groucho Marx. [/FONT]
 
My brother's grandpa (half brother, different dads) fought for Germany in WWI, was discharged due to being shot, moved his wife and himself to America and then fought for America against Germany in WWII. I always thought that was pretty cool.
 
My brother's grandpa (half brother, different dads) fought for Germany in WWI, was discharged due to being shot, moved his wife and himself to America and then fought for America against Germany in WWII. I always thought that was pretty cool.

Hey Hitler, discharge this!
 
I must come from a boring family. No one is out there crazy, no one is hated, no one is famous/overly interesting. My brother is a published author; that's about it.

So, like someone said, that person in the family must be me. I'm good with that.
 
I have a great uncle that looks like the most hillbilly redneck you've ever seen. Straight out of a cartoon.

If you talk to him, he's very well spoken, well read and intelligent. But you'd never guess it.
 
I'm lucky in that I don't have an crazy or mean relatives. There's some who have very different political opinions, but we don't discuss politics at the holidays so it's fine.

It's only been in the past few years that I've realized how strong my grandma is. My grandpa was a travelling salesman for a while, so my grandma (and my great grandma probably helped too), was raising 4 daughters, all 6 years old or younger, while the oldest was dying of leukemia, almost completely by herself. I just can't imagine how she did it.
 
My brother's grandpa (half brother, different dads) fought for Germany in WWI, was discharged due to being shot, moved his wife and himself to America and then fought for America against Germany in WWII. I always thought that was pretty cool.
How old was he in each war? Because he would have had to have been getting pretty old for WWII.
 
I don't know what legal age was in Germany, or how much they checked it, but I'm pretty sure he was under 18 for WWI.

He was like, around 60 when he had my brother's dad.
 
...neither are crazy or dysfunctional, but I had one uncle who worked with many of Hollywood's 'finest' (there's actors I will never support because I know how horrible they are as people) for 30 years, and decided in his 50's to go back to school and ended up teaching college history, only to find it much more gratifying.

Another uncle at one point was something like 4th or 5th in line to be president, i.e. if all above him weren't able to perform actively.
 
Holy crap Cooler. Your family is awesome.

One of my grandpas didn't get drafted during WWII because he was considered indispensable to the homefront as an expert on livestock. No statue for that.

No statue, but still awesome.

Have an ancestor who was tarred and feathered in southeast Iowa for being Catholic. Also no statue for that!
 
I guess I'd have to say my dad..

Once my grampa had two pigs with the same physical problem. (My dad says they were born without buttholes). The vet came out and fixed one of them. My grampa made my dad watch what the vet did, then Dad performed the same operation on the other pig. The vet's pig died, my dad's survived.

My dad has an 8th grade education. His father moved him out to my dad's sister's farm in Wisconsin when he was 13, because he was afraid either he or one of two of my uncles would kill each other. They were all a year apart, and got into real fights all the time. Even throwing pitchforks at each other.

He's quite handy. He's built his own house in which they still live. He even cut down oak trees on my grampa's farm, hauled them to the lumber mill and had them made into columns and floor joists for the house. Dug the basement, mixed and poured all the concrete. He was 19.

He was a self-taught gunsmith for 30 years. Had his own business that he ran in the evening after his day job as a tinner.

I was once on a golf outing with Master Builders of Iowa. Paired up with a sheet metal contractor from Dubuque, who asked if I was any relation. He told me that my dad was the best tinner in Dubuque, maybe even the state.

He built a pontoon boat -- made the pontoons himself. He built a camper that we used for a number of years.

He has a shop with lots of tools - metal lathe, sheetmetal brake, milling machine, band saw. The guy can make anything. He made a cannon not too long ago. Shot it this 4th of July, then scooted it back into the shop before the cops showed up.

When he wants to make some tool that he needs, he'll look at a picture of it in a catalog like Northern Tool & Equipment--then make it. Probably the smartest man I've ever met.

Funny thing is, he won't read a book -- just magazines. He says once he gets started on a book, he can't put it down until he's finished it.
 
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Grandfather fought in the 7th Armored in WWII, and retired a Lt. Colonel. Returned home and started a restaurant outside Montgomery AL. One uncle is a sheriff in Alabama, another is a professor at Auburn. I have a great grandmother named Arizona Adams. I've always loved that name and wish I could have gotten more than just the Adams part of it in my name.
Thanks to in-laws, present day family isn't as great. I have a brother-in-law who 1. was a drug dealer who managed to convince my SO's sister to run away with him during the second semester of her senior year of college, 2. was arrested after writing a ton of bad checks during the "running away," 3. while in prison, both married SO's sister, and converted to Islam, 4. post-incarceration now lives with SO's sister and several other women in a shack with no running water or electricity while collecting government checks. As a result of the above, SO's sister was a couple months from getting a nursing degree but now can't even get hired in the gift shop at the hospital.
 
Where in Southeast Iowa? My mom's side (Catholic) is from Ottumwa, so I figure it isn't there

No, I had relatives in Ottumwa too. Rural area between Burlington and Fort Madison I think.

The KKK wasn't fond of Catholics. Notre Dame students fought a weekend siege by the Klan. They attacked several Catholic colleges.
 
My great grandpa was blind (not sure how that happened) but when his grandsons got big enough to see over the hood. he would drive the truck on the farm to haul wood and grain having the kids give him directions. not super cool but he was a really great person. Still like the smell of pipe tobacco to this day because of him, though I don't smoke myself.
 
My great-grandma had an interesting life. Her mother was a midwife who had her own hysterectomy performed on the dining room table. Great-grandma then taught at a one room school and one icy day, her horse fell and broke its leg. She had to walk home several miles to get a gun. Married and lived on the farm through the Depression with two young kids - said she never really noticed there was a Depression! Lived to her late 90's and still whip-smart.


Her son and his wife, on the other hand, are pretty despicable. Their highlights include my grandpa telling me on my birthday that I'd never be anything in life, slapping my then 3 year old sister for spilling a glass of milk, saying they wished our mother were dead, and telling my then 6 year old brother that he would take our new puppy out and shoot it because we didn't need a dog. There was plenty of playing favorites with the grandchildren as well - my siblings and I were decidedly on the wrong end of that. Last year they were trying to convince people in the area that my mom was mentally ill, but that backfired quite poorly. Now they are trying to be semi-decent because my brother is getting married next year and the idea of being barred from another grandchild's wedding may be too damaging to their social reputation.


Needless to say, there will be no sadness from me when they are gone.