Fan Boundaries with Student Athletes

[3TrueFans]

What if I see an attractive female out in public who is an athlete but I don’t know she’s an athlete, can I still go “converse” with her?

What if I know she’s an athlete but I play dumb and don’t bring up anything regarding athletics, can I still go “converse” with her?

I think I have to first ask why converse is in quotes, are these women in danger?

 

[BCClone]

This seems like a good time to post this. My brother once went to an NFL game and he texted me a picture of him and Barry Switzer...

Bro: "Look who I met at the game."

Me: "Is that in the restroom?"

Bro: "Yeah, I might have had a few beers..."

If it was a cowboys game, Barry really did not do much coaching if he was walking to the John.

 

[BCClone]

What if I see an attractive female out in public who is an athlete but I don’t know she’s an athlete, can I still go “converse” with her?

What if I know she’s an athlete but I play dumb and don’t bring up anything regarding athletics, can I still go “converse” with her?

Is she sitting or standing? Appears to make a difference

 

[Drew0311]

I was in an argument on facebook calling a guy creepy for talking to our female basketball players. He says he knows them all because he talks to them all the time. I found it very weird. It's one thing to say "Nice Game" or get a pic and autograph. However, to constantly talk and try and text them is weird unless you have known them before.

 

[bluestarcyclone]

Because sitting at a bar by yourself can be great and I'm 100% serious.

It can be great people watching entertainment at the right bar too (more divey bars in general).

 

[bluestarcyclone]

I was in an argument on facebook calling a guy creepy for talking to our female basketball players. He says he knows them all because he talks to them all the time. I found it very weird. It's one thing to say "Nice Game" or get a pic and autograph. However, to constantly talk and try and text them is weird unless you have known them before.

Yeah this kind of thing happens all the time with anyone with even the smallest amount of fame. People develop these parasocial relationships. And now in the current era those are monetized through streaming platforms. Its amazing how much money some people will shell out just to get a shout-out from someone who they'll never meet.

 

[Drew0311]

Yeah this kind of thing happens all the time with anyone with even the smallest amount of fame. People develop these parasocial relationships. And now in the current era those are monetized through streaming platforms. Its amazing how much money some people will shell out just to get a shout-out from someone who they'll never meet.

I do have to say this. My father hates Payton Sandfort. Like really hates him. So we tried to get Sandfort to do a Cameo for this birthday thanking my dad for being his biggest fan. However, he had shut his cameo down for some reason (It was going to be like 25 bucks) and we could not do it. So yeah even college athletes are doing this cameo thing and making money off fans.

 

[CyState85]

I had a friend who worked in a coffee shop in Denver and a very well-known country artist came in. My friend played it cool and asked her name and wrote it on her cup. When the drink order was done, my friend handed it to her and said “can’t wait for your show tonight” and gave her a wink. The country music star got on her phone and came back five minutes later with two front row tickets and a $200 tip.

I’ve never been around a famous person but I always like to think I would play it cool and treat them like an average person.

 

[Cyhig]

When I was first married, we lived in a western suburb of Chicago named Elmhurst and many Chicago Blackhawk players lived there as well. We would often see a young Jeremy Roenick and his defenseman roommate at a Greek breakfast restaurant named the Rainbow, which did brisk business. I never saw anyone approach Roenick, which is probably why he frequented the place - he could eat without being bothered.

Several months ago, a retirement age male board member related a story where he entered a small Ames bar to meet friends, saw a high profile female basketball player sitting alone at a table and approached her, "conversing for several minutes". He said she sat alone the entire time she was there, which he thought was "weird". The player was one of our first "unexpected" transfer portal losses.

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

It's a slow time of the ISU athletic year and I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I'm not talking about college-aged or young adults, rather mature adults ages 40 & over. Would you approach a female athlete sitting alone in a bar minding their own business? When is it permissible to approach a female student athlete in public? When is it permissible to approach any ISU student athlete in public?

All depends what is said.

"Hi, Just wanted to let you know we are big fans of your game and love your enthusiasm you bring. My kids love watching you play and we like to use your example of hard work and dedication to teach our kids"

OR

"Hey,,, can I have your number?"

 

[jcisuclones]

What if I see an attractive female out in public who is an athlete but I don’t know she’s an athlete, can I still go “converse” with her?

What if I know she’s an athlete but I play dumb and don’t bring up anything regarding athletics, can I still go “converse” with her?

Last spring I was sitting at the bar at Sweet Carolines watching an Iowa State basketball game and was chatting basketball with the guy next to me. One of those situations where you're sitting at the bar next to a stranger and you're just talking facing forward and not making eye contact. About an hour into sitting next to this guy and talking, he mentioned something about the draft coming up and so I looked over and realized it was Jaylin Noel.

 

[Bipolarcy]

So if they are standing, it’s ok but sitting is a no no in your book?

That's what you took from that? No, not what I said at all. For one thing, one's a single girl by herself and one's a muscular male athlete by himself. If you can't see the difference there, maybe your parents failed you when it came to the birds and bees talk.

 

[Tailg8er]

I had a friend who worked in a coffee shop in Denver and a very well-known country artist came in. My friend played it cool and asked her name and wrote it on her cup. When the drink order was done, my friend handed it to her and said “can’t wait for your show tonight” and gave her a wink. The country music star got on her phone and came back five minutes later with two front row tickets and a $200 tip.

I’ve never been around a famous person but I always like to think I would play it cool and treat them like an average person.

Hopefully she spelled the star's name wrong on the cup to give her the full average Joe coffee shop experience.

 

[BCClone]

That's what you took from that? No, not what I said at all. For one thing, one's a single girl by herself and one's a muscular male athlete by himself. If you can't see the difference there, maybe your parents failed you when it came to the birds and bees talk.

So you were interested in the guy but not the girl?

 

[NorthCyd]

I had a friend who worked in a coffee shop in Denver and a very well-known country artist came in. My friend played it cool and asked her name and wrote it on her cup. When the drink order was done, my friend handed it to her and said “can’t wait for your show tonight” and gave her a wink. The country music star got on her phone and came back five minutes later with two front row tickets and a $200 tip.

I’ve never been around a famous person but I always like to think I would play it cool and treat them like an average person.

I was at a resort in Hawaii last year and Ryan Fitzpatrick was there with his family. I saw him multiple times by the pool and bar area and whatnot. I thought about chatting him up but I left it alone. Guy is trying to have a family vacation and doesn't need some dude trying to talk to him about his Fitzmagic days.

Only other semi famous person I talked to was Jake Sullivan. He was in line behind me at HyVee and was commenting on my booze selection. I never even let on that I knew who he was. Can you believe he started talking to a perfect stranger like that in a public place? Creepy.

 

[BCClone]

I was at a resort in Hawaii last year and Ryan Fitzpatrick was there with his family. I saw him multiple times by the pool and bar area and whatnot. I thought about chatting him up but I left it alone. Guy is trying to have a family vacation and doesn't need some dude trying to talk to him about his Fitzmagic days.

Only other semi famous person I talked to was Jake Sullivan. He was in line behind me at HyVee and was commenting on my booze selection. I never even let on that I knew who he was. Can you believe he started talking to a perfect stranger like that in a public place? Creepy.

The best way to handle those things. Treat them like random people. If they are looking at bottles in a liquor store, ask them what is a good bourbon there if you want to chat. Talk like they are just Joe Schmoe looking.

 

[NorthCyd]

The best way to handle those things. Treat them like random people. If they are looking at bottles in a liquor store, ask them what is a good bourbon there if you want to chat. Talk like they are just Joe Schmoe looking.

Funny thing is I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't drink. I think he was just trying to make small talk which I did not have a problem with.

 

[jcisuclones]

Not a student athlete, but wasn't it said that Carol Hoiberg was ready to leave Ames due to the amount of people who would come up to her and not leave her alone at the grocery store?

 

[crs8975]

I'm firmly in the camp that formal boundaries should be in place between fans and student athletes, especially female student athletes. An adult male wouldn't walk into a small towny bar, see an anonymous twenty year-old girl sitting alone at a table, walk up and engage her in conversation. I feel strongly the same should hold true for an ISU WBB player - she was sitting alone by choice - leave her alone. I said as much in the thread and was surprised by the number of people who felt otherwise.

You clearly haven't been to very many small town bars. That sh*t happens all the time, especially in Iowa.

 

[dafarmer]

Part of it is generational. Daughter gets frustrated when on vacation, I greet people and make small talk if they want. Just to show that what they do is interesting. She says hi and that’s about it. I grew up in the era pre-cell phone where communication was more personal.

 

[RedDog]

I usually strike up conversations with priests and rabbis when they walk into bars, but always leave horses alone. Never seen one in a bar that wasn't long in the face.