Hilton Coliseum Renovation

[RagingCloner]

Had an Iowa fan ask me about this and ask where all the money was coming from since ISU was so "poor"

The look on his face when i told him he fell hook line and sinker for something that is CLEARLY AI was absolutely perfect. I wish i could have photographed it

 

[VeloClone]

Hearing they're going to build it next to Lake LaVerne

I like the Matterhorn mock up next to Lake Latrine. Really classes up the joint.

 

[VeloClone]

I thought one of them died a couple years ago.

You didn't really think we have had the same pair of swans since 1935, did you?

 

[JP4CY]

I like the Matterhorn mock up next to Lake Latrine. Really classes up the joint.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

I had AI come up with a ridiculous concept too

Project: THE EYE OF THE STORM​

Client: Iowa State University Athletics
Architectural Firm: Vortex, Corn & Concrete Visionaries Ltd.
Budget: $8.5 Billion (payable in corn futures and wind energy credits)

1. The Exterior: "The Bioluminescent Cob"​

The current brutalist concrete facade is iconic but lacks "pop." We will encase the entire coliseum in a translucent, amber-colored, bio-glass shell modeled after a giant ear of corn.

• Daytime: It gleams golden in the Ames sun.
• Nighttime: Using 50 million LEDs, the kernels pulsate. When the Cyclones win, the building literally looks like it is popping into giant pieces of popcorn.
• The Spire: A 400-foot lightning rod on the roof that captures actual lightning during storms to power the scoreboard.

2. Flood Mitigation: "The Amphibious Court"​

We are tired of fighting the Squaw Creek and Skunk River. We are surrendering.

• The Moat: The lower bowl and parquet floor will be permanently flooded to create a 1.5-million-gallon aquarium filled with cardinal-and-gold koi fish (and genetically modified freshwater sharks).
• The Floating Floor: The basketball court itself will be a buoyant, carbon-fiber island that floats on top of the moat. If a flood happens during a game, the court simply rises with the water level. The game continues.
• Splash Zone: The first three rows of student seating are now the "Splash Zone." Students will be issued ponchos and snorkels.

3. Climate Control: "The Literal Cyclone"​

Why call yourselves the Cyclones if you don’t have one?

• The Roof Turbine: The roof will be retrofitted with a massive, industrial-grade fan system capable of generating wind speeds up to F3 on the Fujita scale.
• Home Court Advantage: During opposing team free throws, the roof opens and generates a localized 60-mph crosswind solely over the visitor's basket.
• Cooling: No AC. Just raw, unadulterated wind power channeled directly into the faces of the donors in the upper deck.

4. Concessions: "Pneumatic Pork Delivery"​

Walking to the concession stand is so 2024.

• The Tube System: Every seat is equipped with a pneumatic vacuum tube (like at a bank drive-thru).
• Menu: You order via brain-implant. Within seconds, a breaded pork tenderloin the size of a manhole cover is shot through the tubes at 45 mph, arriving hot and wrapped in foil directly into your lap.
• Beer Hydrants: Rows 10-20 will feature communal beer hoses connected to a central keg reservoir beneath the parking lot.

5. "Hilton Magic" 2.0: The Hologram Defense​

We are digitizing the spirit of the arena.

• The 6th Man: We will install military-grade holographic projectors. During crucial defensive possessions, 20-foot-tall holograms of Fred Hoiberg and Marcus Fizer will manifest on the court to intimidate the opposing point guard.
• The Sound: If the decibel level drops below 110 dB, the seats will gently electroshock fans to encourage louder cheering.

6. The Locker Rooms: "The Corn Silo"​

• Sleeping Pods: Players sleep in hyperbaric chambers filled with shelled corn, which is rumored to have exfoliant and regenerative properties.
• Tunnel Entrance: The team does not walk out of a tunnel. They are ejected from the floor via a hydraulic lift amidst a cloud of dry ice and husks.

 

[JP4CY]

You didn't really think we have had the same pair of swans since 1935, did you?

LOL no. Just remembered that one of them died. Hell if I know if they ever replaced it.

 

[VeloClone]

LOL no. Just remembered that one of them died. Hell if I know if they ever replaced it.

I had heard they were retiring the other and bringing a new pair, however there was talk of pending work on Lake LaVerne which delayed the reintroduction of the new pair.

I'm not in Ames so I can neither confirm nor deny that this is actually what has happened.

 

[theshadow]

I had heard they were retiring the other and bringing a new pair, however there was talk of pending work on Lake LaVern which delayed the reintroduction of the new pair.

I'm not in Ames so I can neither confirm nor deny that this is actually what has happened.

Request Rejected

 

[CascadeClone]

I had AI come up with a ridiculous concept too


View attachment 166834

Project: THE EYE OF THE STORM​

Client: Iowa State University Athletics
Architectural Firm: Vortex, Corn & Concrete Visionaries Ltd.
Budget: $8.5 Billion (payable in corn futures and wind energy credits)

1. The Exterior: "The Bioluminescent Cob"​

The current brutalist concrete facade is iconic but lacks "pop." We will encase the entire coliseum in a translucent, amber-colored, bio-glass shell modeled after a giant ear of corn.

• Daytime: It gleams golden in the Ames sun.
• Nighttime: Using 50 million LEDs, the kernels pulsate. When the Cyclones win, the building literally looks like it is popping into giant pieces of popcorn.
• The Spire: A 400-foot lightning rod on the roof that captures actual lightning during storms to power the scoreboard.

2. Flood Mitigation: "The Amphibious Court"​

We are tired of fighting the Squaw Creek and Skunk River. We are surrendering.

• The Moat: The lower bowl and parquet floor will be permanently flooded to create a 1.5-million-gallon aquarium filled with cardinal-and-gold koi fish (and genetically modified freshwater sharks).
• The Floating Floor: The basketball court itself will be a buoyant, carbon-fiber island that floats on top of the moat. If a flood happens during a game, the court simply rises with the water level. The game continues.
• Splash Zone: The first three rows of student seating are now the "Splash Zone." Students will be issued ponchos and snorkels.

3. Climate Control: "The Literal Cyclone"​

Why call yourselves the Cyclones if you don’t have one?

• The Roof Turbine: The roof will be retrofitted with a massive, industrial-grade fan system capable of generating wind speeds up to F3 on the Fujita scale.
• Home Court Advantage: During opposing team free throws, the roof opens and generates a localized 60-mph crosswind solely over the visitor's basket.
• Cooling: No AC. Just raw, unadulterated wind power channeled directly into the faces of the donors in the upper deck.

4. Concessions: "Pneumatic Pork Delivery"​

Walking to the concession stand is so 2024.

• The Tube System: Every seat is equipped with a pneumatic vacuum tube (like at a bank drive-thru).
• Menu: You order via brain-implant. Within seconds, a breaded pork tenderloin the size of a manhole cover is shot through the tubes at 45 mph, arriving hot and wrapped in foil directly into your lap.
• Beer Hydrants: Rows 10-20 will feature communal beer hoses connected to a central keg reservoir beneath the parking lot.

5. "Hilton Magic" 2.0: The Hologram Defense​

We are digitizing the spirit of the arena.

• The 6th Man: We will install military-grade holographic projectors. During crucial defensive possessions, 20-foot-tall holograms of Fred Hoiberg and Marcus Fizer will manifest on the court to intimidate the opposing point guard.
• The Sound: If the decibel level drops below 110 dB, the seats will gently electroshock fans to encourage louder cheering.

6. The Locker Rooms: "The Corn Silo"​

• Sleeping Pods: Players sleep in hyperbaric chambers filled with shelled corn, which is rumored to have exfoliant and regenerative properties.
• Tunnel Entrance: The team does not walk out of a tunnel. They are ejected from the floor via a hydraulic lift amidst a cloud of dry ice and husks.

That's fregging fantastic.
VORTEX, CORN, AND CONCRETE VISIONIARIES LTD -- someone needs to trademark that asap.

edit - the more I read it the funnier it gets

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

That's fregging fantastic.
VORTEX, CORN, AND CONCRETE VISIONIARIES LTD -- someone needs to trademark that asap.

edit - the more I read it the funnier it gets

My favorite might be the 45mph tenderloins coming right at your lap from bank tubes and the beer spouts but only for rows 10-20 lol

 

[cyclones500]

I had AI come up with a ridiculous concept too


View attachment 166834

Project: THE EYE OF THE STORM​

Client: Iowa State University Athletics
Architectural Firm: Vortex, Corn & Concrete Visionaries Ltd.
Budget: $8.5 Billion (payable in corn futures and wind energy credits)

1. The Exterior: "The Bioluminescent Cob"​

The current brutalist concrete facade is iconic but lacks "pop." We will encase the entire coliseum in a translucent, amber-colored, bio-glass shell modeled after a giant ear of corn.

• Daytime: It gleams golden in the Ames sun.
• Nighttime: Using 50 million LEDs, the kernels pulsate. When the Cyclones win, the building literally looks like it is popping into giant pieces of popcorn.
• The Spire: A 400-foot lightning rod on the roof that captures actual lightning during storms to power the scoreboard.

2. Flood Mitigation: "The Amphibious Court"​

We are tired of fighting the Squaw Creek and Skunk River. We are surrendering.

• The Moat: The lower bowl and parquet floor will be permanently flooded to create a 1.5-million-gallon aquarium filled with cardinal-and-gold koi fish (and genetically modified freshwater sharks).
• The Floating Floor: The basketball court itself will be a buoyant, carbon-fiber island that floats on top of the moat. If a flood happens during a game, the court simply rises with the water level. The game continues.
• Splash Zone: The first three rows of student seating are now the "Splash Zone." Students will be issued ponchos and snorkels.

3. Climate Control: "The Literal Cyclone"​

Why call yourselves the Cyclones if you don’t have one?

• The Roof Turbine: The roof will be retrofitted with a massive, industrial-grade fan system capable of generating wind speeds up to F3 on the Fujita scale.
• Home Court Advantage: During opposing team free throws, the roof opens and generates a localized 60-mph crosswind solely over the visitor's basket.
• Cooling: No AC. Just raw, unadulterated wind power channeled directly into the faces of the donors in the upper deck.

4. Concessions: "Pneumatic Pork Delivery"​

Walking to the concession stand is so 2024.

• The Tube System: Every seat is equipped with a pneumatic vacuum tube (like at a bank drive-thru).
• Menu: You order via brain-implant. Within seconds, a breaded pork tenderloin the size of a manhole cover is shot through the tubes at 45 mph, arriving hot and wrapped in foil directly into your lap.
• Beer Hydrants: Rows 10-20 will feature communal beer hoses connected to a central keg reservoir beneath the parking lot.

5. "Hilton Magic" 2.0: The Hologram Defense​

We are digitizing the spirit of the arena.

• The 6th Man: We will install military-grade holographic projectors. During crucial defensive possessions, 20-foot-tall holograms of Fred Hoiberg and Marcus Fizer will manifest on the court to intimidate the opposing point guard.
• The Sound: If the decibel level drops below 110 dB, the seats will gently electroshock fans to encourage louder cheering.

6. The Locker Rooms: "The Corn Silo"​

• Sleeping Pods: Players sleep in hyperbaric chambers filled with shelled corn, which is rumored to have exfoliant and regenerative properties.
• Tunnel Entrance: The team does not walk out of a tunnel. They are ejected from the floor via a hydraulic lift amidst a cloud of dry ice and husks.

Facility details aside, if our players are going to be that huge, we'll never lose at any venue!

 

[c.y.c.l.o.n.e.s]

Request Rejected

Have they ever dredged it? If not, I wonder what kind of crazy stuff they are going to find buried in that 7 feet of sediment.

 

[cytor]

I thought one of them died a couple years ago.

Incorrect... they were sent to a farm with lots of other animals to happily play all day long.

 

[ESciGuy]

Have they ever dredged it? If not, I wonder what kind of crazy stuff they are going to find buried in that 7 feet of sediment.

Numerous goal posts, for sure.

 

[HawaiiClone]

Request Rejected

My first year at ISU was the last where we could walk across it when it froze. I wish I had been there in previous years when students played hockey on it

 

[HawaiiClone]

Numerous goal posts, for sure.

From different eras

 

[Cycsk]

I had AI come up with a ridiculous concept too


View attachment 166834

Project: THE EYE OF THE STORM​

Client: Iowa State University Athletics
Architectural Firm: Vortex, Corn & Concrete Visionaries Ltd.
Budget: $8.5 Billion (payable in corn futures and wind energy credits)

1. The Exterior: "The Bioluminescent Cob"​

The current brutalist concrete facade is iconic but lacks "pop." We will encase the entire coliseum in a translucent, amber-colored, bio-glass shell modeled after a giant ear of corn.

• Daytime: It gleams golden in the Ames sun.
• Nighttime: Using 50 million LEDs, the kernels pulsate. When the Cyclones win, the building literally looks like it is popping into giant pieces of popcorn.
• The Spire: A 400-foot lightning rod on the roof that captures actual lightning during storms to power the scoreboard.

2. Flood Mitigation: "The Amphibious Court"​

We are tired of fighting the Squaw Creek and Skunk River. We are surrendering.

• The Moat: The lower bowl and parquet floor will be permanently flooded to create a 1.5-million-gallon aquarium filled with cardinal-and-gold koi fish (and genetically modified freshwater sharks).
• The Floating Floor: The basketball court itself will be a buoyant, carbon-fiber island that floats on top of the moat. If a flood happens during a game, the court simply rises with the water level. The game continues.
• Splash Zone: The first three rows of student seating are now the "Splash Zone." Students will be issued ponchos and snorkels.

3. Climate Control: "The Literal Cyclone"​

Why call yourselves the Cyclones if you don’t have one?

• The Roof Turbine: The roof will be retrofitted with a massive, industrial-grade fan system capable of generating wind speeds up to F3 on the Fujita scale.
• Home Court Advantage: During opposing team free throws, the roof opens and generates a localized 60-mph crosswind solely over the visitor's basket.
• Cooling: No AC. Just raw, unadulterated wind power channeled directly into the faces of the donors in the upper deck.

4. Concessions: "Pneumatic Pork Delivery"​

Walking to the concession stand is so 2024.

• The Tube System: Every seat is equipped with a pneumatic vacuum tube (like at a bank drive-thru).
• Menu: You order via brain-implant. Within seconds, a breaded pork tenderloin the size of a manhole cover is shot through the tubes at 45 mph, arriving hot and wrapped in foil directly into your lap.
• Beer Hydrants: Rows 10-20 will feature communal beer hoses connected to a central keg reservoir beneath the parking lot.

5. "Hilton Magic" 2.0: The Hologram Defense​

We are digitizing the spirit of the arena.

• The 6th Man: We will install military-grade holographic projectors. During crucial defensive possessions, 20-foot-tall holograms of Fred Hoiberg and Marcus Fizer will manifest on the court to intimidate the opposing point guard.
• The Sound: If the decibel level drops below 110 dB, the seats will gently electroshock fans to encourage louder cheering.

6. The Locker Rooms: "The Corn Silo"​

• Sleeping Pods: Players sleep in hyperbaric chambers filled with shelled corn, which is rumored to have exfoliant and regenerative properties.
• Tunnel Entrance: The team does not walk out of a tunnel. They are ejected from the floor via a hydraulic lift amidst a cloud of dry ice and husks.

Now that is good use of AI. How much of it did you shape by your query? I want to give you as much credit as possible for it!

 

[BigJCy]

When do we actually think we may see a real Hilton renovation? 5-10 years from now?

 

[JM4CY]

When do we actually think we may see a real Hilton renovation? 5-10 years from now?

Not anything major. Unless someone gets a hold of Stine finally.

 

[JM4CY]

Numerous goal posts, for sure.

And condoms.