Screwed Up Sayings

My fav from family guy: I'm so hungry I could ride a horse.

I say this all the time and my fiance' gives me a dumb look.
 
Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.
Rocco: Doc, I gotta buy you, like, a proverb book or something. This mix'n'match ****'s gotta go.
Doc: What?
Connor: A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
 
"No use crying over spilled water under the bridge"



.....okay, I've never actually heard this used
 
My 2 favorite to use and mess with people. "Not the sharpest crayon in the box" and "not the brightest tool in the shed". Its very rare that someone notices the mix and match
 
This reminds me...Does Steve Deace pronounce "scenario" the correct way? I'm not an expert by any means, but it's like nails on a chalk board every time he says it.
 
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ring around the rosey pocket full of posey

Meaning to "ring around the rosey pocket full of posey"? - Yahoo! Answers

They say that it started in the Middle Ages when the Plague was rampant.
The 'ring around the rosy' referred to the marks that showed up on people's bodies, and the 'pocket full of posies' means the nosegays people would hold up to their noses to block out the stench of the dead. As we all know, the next line is 'Ashes, ashes, we all fall down', meaning that so many died, it seemed as if everyone would 'fall down dead'
 
Some short cuties that you hear:

Grow up.
Take a hike.
Play ball.
Get over IT.
Smell the roses.
Get Lost.
Get Smart.
 
It drives me bonkers during a sports cast when a team is down by three points and the commentator says the losing team is "within three". No!!! They are down by three. If they were within 3 they would be could be less than three...so dumb.
 
1. "The Saints scored 21 unanswered points before the Falcons kicked a field goal before halftime." No, the Saints scored 21 consecutive points, not unanswered points.
2. "I have never stepped foot on that campus." The correct expression is "set foot."
3. And one that I actually like -- "it's not rocket surgery". In fact, I saw a billing for a band called the Rocket Surgeons. I dig it.
 
Not sure where this I got it from but sometimes I mix defrost and thaw together to get dethaw.
 
1. "The Saints scored 21 unanswered points before the Falcons kicked a field goal before halftime." No, the Saints scored 21 consecutive points, not unanswered points.
2. "I have never stepped foot on that campus." The correct expression is "set foot."
3. And one that I actually like -- "it's not rocket surgery". In fact, I saw a billing for a band called the Rocket Surgeons. I dig it.

Sometimes I use "rocket surgery" intentionally in situations that call for it, such as when you have to explain something that should be common knowledge, just to be a touchebag...
 

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