Return from Rehab

[Cyclone Freddy]

I just finished a 45 day stint in rehab due to alcohol abuse. I started drinking at 18 in 1979. It really was not a problem until 2009. My career took a hit when a guy I thought was a friend and I hired stabbed me in the back. It was also around the time of Mad Men, and we started keeping Single Barrel Burboun and Single Malt in the house all the time. I would have my first drink as soon as I walked in the door, but that was usually between 7pm and 10pm. Then I had a career change and started getting home at 4:30. So starting when I walked through the door made things considerably worse.
In 2018 I began going to AA but I hated it. I never did a step past #1, and never got a sponsor. Still I made it 13.5 months sober. Then in November 2019, at a tailgate, a I decided I could handle it, and did ok through the end of 2022. Following Cancer Surgery removed my stomach, I continued to drink and my wife was getting concerned, but it had still not reached a crisis point.
In the spring of 2025 my daughter was diagnosed with the same cancer, but her's was stage 4. She died last October, and the crisis was getting big in the window. I can't remember anything that happened after 7 pm for most of May 2026. At that point it was Rehab or lose my family. Almost unbelievably my job performance was receiving awards and no one new I had a problem.
Now I'm back home. A couple of things I always thought were stupid were Journaling and Meditation. They became my most important allies in my recovery. I'm continuing both, and I'm going to a Buddhist Temple to continue to improve my meditation skills. I'm going to a more White Collar AA group, but I am also going to the Science based Smart Recovery, and Recovery Dharma.
I think my 13 months of sobriety in 18-19 both showed me that I can live alcohol free, but I can't ever drink again. I am going to get it done this time, one day at a time.
If anyone else is battling addiction of any kind and would like to post here about your journey, it would be great to know we are not in this alone.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Damn, man. First of all, I'm sorry about your daughter. Parents shouldn't have to part with their children in that way. I don't have any incredible words of wisdom or experience to pass along, but I'll be pulling for you to stick with your treatment plan and get healthy. Hang in there and keep fighting.

 

[VeloClone]

I don't consider myself an alcoholic but did some serious Al-Anon as a preteen when my step dad went into rehab. I can tell you that your family really appreciates your effort.

Unfortunately my step dad continued drinking and getting OWIs. My Mom eventually divorced him. He ended up spending time in Fort Madison and eventually drank himself to death. He never made the decision to change. Thank God you have.

You can do this!

 

[JEFF420]

welcome back brother. you got this

 

[PineClone]

Thank you for sharing, and keep up the hard work of staying healthy! Life happens. We all deal with loss and regret in different ways. But for me I tell myself that all I can can do is keep living, learn from the past, and try to become a better person. Focus on the future as there is nothing to be gained by dwelling on the past. Sounds like you are on the right path.

 

[jmb]

I just finished a 45 day stint in rehab due to alcohol abuse. I started drinking at 18 in 1979. It really was not a problem until 2009. My career took a hit when a guy I thought was a friend and I hired stabbed me in the back. It was also around the time of Mad Men, and we started keeping Single Barrel Burboun and Single Malt in the house all the time. I would have my first drink as soon as I walked in the door, but that was usually between 7pm and 10pm. Then I had a career change and started getting home at 4:30. So starting when I walked through the door made things considerably worse.
In 2018 I began going to AA but I hated it. I never did a step past #1, and never got a sponsor. Still I made it 13.5 months sober. Then in November 2019, at a tailgate, a I decided I could handle it, and did ok through the end of 2022. Following Cancer Surgery removed my stomach, I continued to drink and my wife was getting concerned, but it had still not reached a crisis point.
In the spring of 2025 my daughter was diagnosed with the same cancer, but her's was stage 4. She died last October, and the crisis was getting big in the window. I can't remember anything that happened after 7 pm for most of May 2026. At that point it was Rehab or lose my family. Almost unbelievably my job performance was receiving awards and no one new I had a problem.
Now I'm back home. A couple of things I always thought were stupid were Journaling and Meditation. They became my most important allies in my recovery. I'm continuing both, and I'm going to a Buddhist Temple to continue to improve my meditation skills. I'm going to a more White Collar AA group, but I am also going to the Science based Smart Recovery, and Recovery Dharma.
I think my 13 months of sobriety in 18-19 both showed me that I can live alcohol free, but I can't ever drink again. I am going to get it done this time, one day at a time.
If anyone else is battling addiction of any kind and would like to post here about your journey, it would be great to know we are not in this alone.

Almost 3 years here wo a drink.

Aa and smart recovery are both great programs. I support both. I spend most of my time w Aa as it is more available in central Iowa.

Sobriety is a worthy project. You won't believe how good it gets if you work program.

 

[CyCrazy]

It's not easy, August 7th will be a year sober for me. If I didnt go to Betty Ford last year I would not be alive today. I don't have the best advice but do whatever works for you, AA or Smart meetings or counselor on your own, there is no right answer. It took me to hear you wont live much longer at my pace of drinking to stop. Good luck.

 

[KnappShack]

Takes a strong person to fight like this

Nothing but love and good thoughts coming your way.

 

[AltoonaFish]

Welcome back! And whatever program works for you, keep doing it. You never hear about a success story of an addict that quit whatever program worked for them. I am happy for your 45 days and understand it’s not easy. Find your niche and keep working it! And if you stumble, keep getting back up.

 

[iowastatefan1929]

Unrelated to alcohol but been hearing about this 7OH stuff, may be labeled Hydroxy and sold everywhere, dont start sounds like quitting may require treatment. Just as addicting as Fent and sold all over Iowa and many other states.

 

[Cyclone Freddy]

Almost 3 years here wo a drink.

Aa and smart recovery are both great programs. I support both. I spend most of my time w Aa as it is more available in central Iowa.

Sobriety is a worthy project. You won't believe how good it gets if you work program.

Smart Recovery also has Zooms, Chat Rooms and Message Boards.
Keep up the great work. We are the Ocean, not the waves. Waves will rise and fall, but the ocean stays the same.

 

[Cyclone Freddy]

It's not easy, August 7th will be a year sober for me. If I didnt go to Betty Ford last year I would not be alive today. I don't have the best advice but do whatever works for you, AA or Smart meetings or counselor on your own, there is no right answer. It took me to hear you wont live much longer at my pace of drinking to stop. Good luck.

I got home Monday afternoon and had my first private therapy appointment Tuesday afternoon.

 

[AltoonaFish]

I got home Monday afternoon and had my first private therapy appointment Tuesday afternoon.

Hope this helps! I go to therapy every thursday for almost 2 years now, and I can tell you I am much happier and I think my wife likes me now.

 

[dahliaclone]

Good on you for posting this....there are MANY people that wouldn't be as vulnerable as you are. Well done. I am going to therapy (not for addiction) and I think therapy in any capacity is extremely undervalued. Keep up the baby steps.

 

[1SEIACLONE]

Losing a child is never easy, been through that pain and it never goes away. I lost my brother last year to liver cancer caused by his excessive drinking, miss him every day. Hope you do well, and remember that alcoholism like drug addiction is a challenged faced every day, for the rest of your life. You just can't have one, which is the most difficult thing to deal with.

Stay strong and best of luck to you.