Random Thoughts 15: Crystal Clear 2021 Edition

[cmjh10]

Okay, I’m now convinced there are other parallel universes. Apparently there is a Dalmatian and a Charcoal lab running around in the country outside of town. Couple people in town commented asking if they were ours (they are not). What are the freaking chances of someone else close by having 2 very similar looking dogs as ours? I think our 2 are missing in another parallel universe and we about entered that one.

 

[BCClone]

You don't think this looks cool af?

I will take, guys who never got laid for $500 Alex.

 

[BCClone]

Serving food for confirmation Wednesday at church. Went upstairs to set things up for Sunday since I will be gone. Remembered that the elevator was supposed to have an issue so I hit the button to call it upstairs. Showed up and seemed fine so I went downstairs. Walked by the elevator and heard a ding and saw it open up. I could fall down the steps, use the restroom and still beat it downstairs so I thought it was pretty quick. Asked the wife if she hit the call button and she said no.

Hhhhmmmmm…….how did it do that???

 

[coolerifyoudid]

For any dad joke fans out there:

Last weekend as a group of kids and parents were leaving the soccer field, I ambled over to my daughter, motioned over my shoulder and said, "Hey, somebody just called you an owl."

She replied, "Who?"

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Serving food for confirmation Wednesday at church. Went upstairs to set things up for Sunday since I will be gone. Remembered that the elevator was supposed to have an issue so I hit the button to call it upstairs. Showed up and seemed fine so I went downstairs. Walked by the elevator and heard a ding and saw it open up. I could fall down the steps, use the restroom and still beat it downstairs so I thought it was pretty quick. Asked the wife if she hit the call button and she said no.

Hhhhmmmmm…….how did it do that???

Stairway Elevator to Heaven?

 

[BCClone]

Stairway Elevator to Heaven?

It went down on its own……..

not up.

 

[BoxsterCy]

It went down on its own……..

not up.

So going down...........

 

[coolerifyoudid]

It went down on its own……..

not up.

 

[VeloClone]

How many sound guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler: ???

None, that's an electrician's job.

 

[BoxsterCy]

 

[VeloClone]

How many sound guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler: ???

TWO...TWO...TWO...

EDIT: I'm not sure anyone got this one. It makes more sense when this joke is heard rather than read.

 

[VeloClone]

Someone count 1, 2, 3, go.

1, 2, 3, go!

 

[jcyclonee]

How much does a pirate charge for corn on the cob?

Spoiler

A buccaneer.

 

[WIBadger]

Why does the danish navy have barcodes on all their ships?

Spoiler

so they can scan da navy in

 

[jcyclonee]

How does a bee get to school?

Spoiler

on the school buzz

 

[jcyclonee]

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler

a stick

 

[ImJustKCClone]

This page is my own personal idea of hell...

 

[jcyclonee]

This page is my own personal idea of hell...

Should we tell mom jokes?

 

[BCClone]

This page is my own personal idea of hell...

You don’t like Aerosmith?

 

[VeloClone]

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler

a stick

What's brown, 200 years old and in a jar?

Spoiler:

Beethoven's last movement