One guy, I believe his name was Andrew, who was a friendless, and probably filthy, oaf of a man, was the first person to ever add beans to chili, just prior to World War I. He secretly added a handful of rocks to the crock of chili being made at the local soup kitchen, hoping that the befouled dish would be discovered and thrown out in the trash where he could take it, remove the rocks, and sell it on the street. What Andrew didn't realize was that the handful of "rocks" that he picked up were actually beans. Lentils at the time, having no desirable culinary use, were commonly used as packing material for industrial products, and were often strewn about in poorer urban areas.
Andrew's plan worked to perfection, and the soup kitchen quickly disposed of the now inedible chili. Andrew was right there to claim it, but upon retrieving his prize, he found the plan began to break down. Beans, it seemed, floated in the chili, making them far more difficult to extricate than rocks, which just sank to the bottom.
Ever the opportunist, Andrew decided to sell the chili anyway, albeit at a slightly discounted price. He set up shop right outside the soup kitchen where a steady stream of the hungry destitute were sure to be found. The ravenous people first objected to both his prices and the inclusion of beans, but with no soup at the soup kitchen, they were faced with the prospect of eating the slop or going hungry, and soon were forced to begrudgingly part ways with what little coin they had in exchange for a bowl of Andrew's legume filled devilry.
And so, on the backs of the impoverished, Andrew's empire grew. Soon, he had legions of sketchy underlings doing his bidding, lurking around unsuspecting soup kitchens, orphanages, and poorhouses with handfuls of beans, just waiting for an opportunity to toss in their filthy payloads, and set up shop.
Andrew remained at the top of the pyramid, and the money kept rolling in. Soon, he had enough money to "go legit" by purchasing a cannery to produce his beanie wares, and engage in a large scale propaganda campaign, greasing palms, paying off officials, and attempting to convince people that chili with beans or "street chili" was the best they could hope for. Morally defeated, a depressed public bowed to the overwhelming pressure, and Andrew's legacy was writ. Upon his death, the company passed along to Andrew's son, and in turn to his grandson, who runs the family business to this day.
Who was this villain, you ask? I speak of course of none other than Andrew "A.J"
Bush. And while his name may not be recognizable to you, his constant companion, and now 107 year old golden retriever, most certainly is.
Roll that beautiful bean footage... in hell, you heartless bastard
