Back by semi-popular demand. Roundup of notable comments & quips from Cyclone Fanatic board, January-March 2021.
Far from exhaustive, simply a snapshot of amusements I happened to catch. A couple-dozen got cut, either because the context is too cumbersome or it didn't seem as funny as it did at the time.
If anyone recalls good stuff I missed, feel free to add.
Some posts have been edited for clarity and brevity. I might do this in two separate posts, if word-limit requires.
@CascadeClone: Why waste good money on such a thing? If I owned the Fiesta Bowl, the trophy would be 5 feet tall, but only cost me like $500 at the local trophy shop. Alternately, it could be an old Ford Fiesta. It would be less valuable, but still kind of neat.
From "National Title Game May Be Delayed Due to COVID Issues at Ohio State"
@MeanDean: tOSU says, "Why pass the COVID test? We always got by on the eye test in 2020."
From “Did You Have a Car in High School?”
@bos: Had an ’87 Plymouth Sundance. That bad boy went 0 to 60 in 45 minutes.
From the politics forum
@cyrocksmypants: I love how we can spend unlimited amounts of money on the American military complex, but can’t get soldiers pillows.
@CycloneErik: That stuff goes to the Air Force.
***
@shagcarpetjesus: You can create all sorts of sworn affidavits. I can sign an affidavit that says a guy wearing a Bernie Sanders shirt gave me the stink-eye at the grocery store in a way that clearly communicated that Joe Biden likes to have sex with ham sandwiches.
****
@Angie: Foo Fighters performing tonight. $5 says they just play "Best of You" over and over.
@snowcraig2.0: Foo Fighters suck. I'm done with Biden.
From “If CMC Retired Today … ”
@EvilBetty: (If Campbell retired) to pursue his true passion (competitive quilting), who would be on your realistic short list of coaches you'd want replace him?
@dosry5: Jennifer Love Hewitt.
***
@mtowncyclone13: This thread is the worst thing to happen so far in 2021.
***
@Cyforce: These guys are extremely loyal, figure they'd join the quilt team.
@MeanDean: Well, they will need a Special Seams Coach ...
From “CW Pod With My Conservative Veteran Friend…”
@ImJustKCClone: You can safely take Stewo off of “ignore.”
@Rural: You'll pry my Ignore list from my cold, dead hands, lady.
From “I Found [Steele Jantz] … and it’s Amazing”
@burn587 (In response to @Emmawilliams): I thought this was someone writing a Steele Jantz fan-fic letter to Penthouse forum, until I got to the end.
@Emmawilliams: Did you Jantz in your pants ?
@JM4CY: You’re gonna do really well here.
From “Poll: ISU +11.5 vs. West Virginia”
@CyCloned: This season has been like a train that crashes into another train wreck.
From “Prohm Gets Extension”
@CoachHines3: Crazy how things can change. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
***
@IlliniCy: Can we quit bumping this thread? Every time "Coach Prohm Gets Extension" shows up on the front page, I have a minor coronary. And yes, I realize I just bumped the damn thing.
From “Aunt Jemima is Now Pearl Mill Company”
@mramseyISU: Some guys are getting big-mad over maple syrup? They could call it “diabeetus sauce” and I'd still buy it.
From “Hi-C Coming Back to McDonald’s”
@Cyforce: This completely makes up for 2020!
From “KenPom Subscription”
@Sigmapolis: Everything reminds me of sex. Everything reminds you guys of how bad our basketball team is.
From “***Official Iowa State Season Thread***” (vs. KU)
@awd4cy: Remember that time we came back from down 15 at halftime at Allen Fieldhouse? Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going with this.
***
@Cyched: Benzene and Coke tonight.
@Rabbuk: Nine of 10 doctors don't recommend.
Cyched: Gon' find you when my sight come back.
***
@alarson: Of all the halves of basketball I've watched, that was one of them.
From “Does Anyone Else Just Not Really Watch the Games Anymore?”
@RustShack: I feel dirty for buying a “Prohman Empire” shirt when he was hired.
@ISUChippewa: Did you use any Chizik Coins to buy the shirt?
From “Lasagna”
@Angie: Lasagna is the green-bean casserole of pasta.
From “Friday OT: I’ll Be Ready for the Funeral”
@Clonefan32: I may have to change my answer, because upon closer review of the lyrics, like all Van Morrison songs, it may actually be about banging.
From “How Good is the ISU Basketball Job?”
@BWRhasnoAC: I fell asleep to multiple games this year.
@Cyched: Did you fall asleep, or did you pass out?
BWRhasnoAC: Well, I’m not a big drinker, but I may have snorted a couple of marijuana joints that evening.
From “Who You Got Going Deepest for the Big 12?”
@coolerifyoudid: Without consent? Definitely Baylor.
From “Lon Kruger Retiring”
@Aduhbolu15: Huggy Bear next?!
@Gunnerclone: Want to get your ass kicked?
Aduhbolu15: Yes.
***
cyclones500: He took 2 different schools to Elite 8 and another to Elite 8.
@ribsnwhiskey: So, 3 different schools, then?
From: “Suez Canal” (actually, you may want to read the entire thread)
(From Tweet): This infographic makes a strong case that the big boat is never going to get unstuck.
@coolerifyoudid: I just told my wife her anniversary present is on that freighter.
@jdoggivjc: And my wife thought she was bad at parking, but she'll never be "block the entire Suez Canal, possibly for eternity" bad at parking.
@cowgirl836: @NWICY and I just talked about this today. Can you imagine that performance review? "I had a 95% success rate getting ships through the canal this past year. Just one incident."
From ***Official 2021 NCAA Tournament Thread***
@carvers4math: Seth Davis is must-miss TV.
***
@Gunnerclone: Can we talk about Jim Boheim being 80 years old and having a 19-year-old son?
@ISUTex: Did you know that one of President John Tyler's grandsons died last year?
Gunnerclone: I didn’t even know John Tyler was a president.
***
@Prone2Clone: Cougars licking the Beavers right now.
@alarson: Would you please stop reading my browser history?
From “Mount Flushmore of ISU Athletics”
@jcisuclones: People who shouldn't be allowed to have their opinions taken seriously on this site: 1. People who think Pollard is a terrible AD. 2. People who don't know how to spell VEISHEA. 3. That's it.
From “Can We Opt Out of Betting Lounge?”
“Can we opt out of betting lounge like we can political forum?”
@stormchaser2014: I would like to opt out of every forum except bug-tracking.
From “Reasons For Optimism For ISU BBall”
(OP): Common theme with all those teams is they play hard and play defense. As soon as our coaches demand that, we will win. Even with Fred, we had to outscore teams. Hard to win 2, 3 games in a row against good teams having to outscore them.
@Cyclones125: Someone please double check my math on this but... ISU is undefeated in games they have outscored their opponent.
From “Friday OT: Wrap It Up”
@Angie: Can you summarize your entire week by saying a sentence of one thing that happened? Give us the short form.
@cmjh10: **** this, **** that, **** you.
Leftover comment from "Notable Posts Aug-Dec 2020"
@cyrocksmypants: I used to be funny, before the pandemic killed my will to live.
Far from exhaustive, simply a snapshot of amusements I happened to catch. A couple-dozen got cut, either because the context is too cumbersome or it didn't seem as funny as it did at the time.
If anyone recalls good stuff I missed, feel free to add.
Some posts have been edited for clarity and brevity. I might do this in two separate posts, if word-limit requires.
- In case you missed it: Notable Posts August-December 2020
@CascadeClone: Why waste good money on such a thing? If I owned the Fiesta Bowl, the trophy would be 5 feet tall, but only cost me like $500 at the local trophy shop. Alternately, it could be an old Ford Fiesta. It would be less valuable, but still kind of neat.
From "National Title Game May Be Delayed Due to COVID Issues at Ohio State"
@MeanDean: tOSU says, "Why pass the COVID test? We always got by on the eye test in 2020."
From “Did You Have a Car in High School?”
@bos: Had an ’87 Plymouth Sundance. That bad boy went 0 to 60 in 45 minutes.
From the politics forum
@cyrocksmypants: I love how we can spend unlimited amounts of money on the American military complex, but can’t get soldiers pillows.
@CycloneErik: That stuff goes to the Air Force.
***
@shagcarpetjesus: You can create all sorts of sworn affidavits. I can sign an affidavit that says a guy wearing a Bernie Sanders shirt gave me the stink-eye at the grocery store in a way that clearly communicated that Joe Biden likes to have sex with ham sandwiches.
****
@Angie: Foo Fighters performing tonight. $5 says they just play "Best of You" over and over.
@snowcraig2.0: Foo Fighters suck. I'm done with Biden.
From “If CMC Retired Today … ”
@EvilBetty: (If Campbell retired) to pursue his true passion (competitive quilting), who would be on your realistic short list of coaches you'd want replace him?
@dosry5: Jennifer Love Hewitt.
***
@mtowncyclone13: This thread is the worst thing to happen so far in 2021.
***
@Cyforce: These guys are extremely loyal, figure they'd join the quilt team.
@MeanDean: Well, they will need a Special Seams Coach ...
From “CW Pod With My Conservative Veteran Friend…”
@ImJustKCClone: You can safely take Stewo off of “ignore.”
@Rural: You'll pry my Ignore list from my cold, dead hands, lady.
From “I Found [Steele Jantz] … and it’s Amazing”
@burn587 (In response to @Emmawilliams): I thought this was someone writing a Steele Jantz fan-fic letter to Penthouse forum, until I got to the end.
@Emmawilliams: Did you Jantz in your pants ?
@JM4CY: You’re gonna do really well here.
From “Poll: ISU +11.5 vs. West Virginia”
@CyCloned: This season has been like a train that crashes into another train wreck.
From “Prohm Gets Extension”
@CoachHines3: Crazy how things can change. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
***
@IlliniCy: Can we quit bumping this thread? Every time "Coach Prohm Gets Extension" shows up on the front page, I have a minor coronary. And yes, I realize I just bumped the damn thing.
From “Aunt Jemima is Now Pearl Mill Company”
@mramseyISU: Some guys are getting big-mad over maple syrup? They could call it “diabeetus sauce” and I'd still buy it.
From “Hi-C Coming Back to McDonald’s”
@Cyforce: This completely makes up for 2020!
From “KenPom Subscription”
@Sigmapolis: Everything reminds me of sex. Everything reminds you guys of how bad our basketball team is.
From “***Official Iowa State Season Thread***” (vs. KU)
@awd4cy: Remember that time we came back from down 15 at halftime at Allen Fieldhouse? Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going with this.
***
@Cyched: Benzene and Coke tonight.
@Rabbuk: Nine of 10 doctors don't recommend.
Cyched: Gon' find you when my sight come back.
***
@alarson: Of all the halves of basketball I've watched, that was one of them.
From “Does Anyone Else Just Not Really Watch the Games Anymore?”
@RustShack: I feel dirty for buying a “Prohman Empire” shirt when he was hired.
@ISUChippewa: Did you use any Chizik Coins to buy the shirt?
From “Lasagna”
@Angie: Lasagna is the green-bean casserole of pasta.
From “Friday OT: I’ll Be Ready for the Funeral”
@Clonefan32: I may have to change my answer, because upon closer review of the lyrics, like all Van Morrison songs, it may actually be about banging.
From “How Good is the ISU Basketball Job?”
@BWRhasnoAC: I fell asleep to multiple games this year.
@Cyched: Did you fall asleep, or did you pass out?
BWRhasnoAC: Well, I’m not a big drinker, but I may have snorted a couple of marijuana joints that evening.
From “Who You Got Going Deepest for the Big 12?”
@coolerifyoudid: Without consent? Definitely Baylor.
From “Lon Kruger Retiring”
@Aduhbolu15: Huggy Bear next?!
@Gunnerclone: Want to get your ass kicked?
Aduhbolu15: Yes.
***
cyclones500: He took 2 different schools to Elite 8 and another to Elite 8.
@ribsnwhiskey: So, 3 different schools, then?
From: “Suez Canal” (actually, you may want to read the entire thread)
(From Tweet): This infographic makes a strong case that the big boat is never going to get unstuck.
@coolerifyoudid: I just told my wife her anniversary present is on that freighter.
@jdoggivjc: And my wife thought she was bad at parking, but she'll never be "block the entire Suez Canal, possibly for eternity" bad at parking.
@cowgirl836: @NWICY and I just talked about this today. Can you imagine that performance review? "I had a 95% success rate getting ships through the canal this past year. Just one incident."
From ***Official 2021 NCAA Tournament Thread***
@carvers4math: Seth Davis is must-miss TV.
***
@Gunnerclone: Can we talk about Jim Boheim being 80 years old and having a 19-year-old son?
@ISUTex: Did you know that one of President John Tyler's grandsons died last year?
Gunnerclone: I didn’t even know John Tyler was a president.
***
@Prone2Clone: Cougars licking the Beavers right now.
@alarson: Would you please stop reading my browser history?
From “Mount Flushmore of ISU Athletics”
@jcisuclones: People who shouldn't be allowed to have their opinions taken seriously on this site: 1. People who think Pollard is a terrible AD. 2. People who don't know how to spell VEISHEA. 3. That's it.
From “Can We Opt Out of Betting Lounge?”
“Can we opt out of betting lounge like we can political forum?”
@stormchaser2014: I would like to opt out of every forum except bug-tracking.
From “Reasons For Optimism For ISU BBall”
(OP): Common theme with all those teams is they play hard and play defense. As soon as our coaches demand that, we will win. Even with Fred, we had to outscore teams. Hard to win 2, 3 games in a row against good teams having to outscore them.
@Cyclones125: Someone please double check my math on this but... ISU is undefeated in games they have outscored their opponent.
From “Friday OT: Wrap It Up”
@Angie: Can you summarize your entire week by saying a sentence of one thing that happened? Give us the short form.
@cmjh10: **** this, **** that, **** you.
Leftover comment from "Notable Posts Aug-Dec 2020"
@cyrocksmypants: I used to be funny, before the pandemic killed my will to live.
Last edited:
