Do you visit graves/cemeteries?

[BoxsterCy]

So do you CF peeps visit cemeteries and graves? Just popped into my head since I'll be in my hometown in a couple of weeks for a single day. Not really envisioning me ever being in that town again so maybe that is why it popped into my head. I think the only time I've ever done the graveside visit thing was as a kid being dragged there by my mother or father. My mother used to do the flowers on graves thing. Got me wondering if that was sort of just an older generation thing or maybe something that just runs in families or something.

Note: Not counting military related stuff. As an adult I did go by choice to ceremonies in cemeteries on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day with my dad and his fellow veterans. I am more talking visiting family graves.

 

[cydsho]

Just this grave.

 

[drlove]

When I visit my home town, which isn't often, I visit the cemetery and make sure my parents grave/headstone is looking good, add some flowers for them and sometimes for others that the family knew. I don't have to, but I'm lucky that I can go do it.

 

[Gunnerclone]

We take walks in this super old cemetery near our house. It’s kind of cool how the further east you go, the older the graves are.

 

[dmclone]

This is a good question. When my mother was mobile, her and my sister used to go out twice a year and put flowers on graves. I found the whole process to be dumb and never visited anyone's grave after they died. My wife and the rest of my family find this to be cold.

On the other hand, I've visited a lot of WW1 and WW2 grave sites and find those interesting.

 

[MeanDean]

I always intend to, but almost never do. I went looking for my father's grave site last summer and couldn't find it (I was just going by memory for where I thought it should be). Kind of scary, since I'll be planted in the plot right next to it.

Yes, my mother and my grandparents were very observant and would always go to the cemetery for "Decoration Day" (the older name for Memorial Day.)

 

[Saul_T]

My wife and I had this discussion last night. I'll visit an old cemetery when I'm traveling (ie: Boston Freedom Trail), but I have no desire to go look at a stone with my dead loved ones name on it as they lie in a wooden box encased in a metal or concrete box shriveled up in their nice clothes and embalming chemicals underneath me.

I told my wife I would like to be cremated and evenly split between my children. They can individually do with me what means the most to them. If they want to display me on their mantle, go for it. Flush me? Sure. Fire me into space? Awesome. I'll be dead and I don't care any more.

 

[dmclone]

Speaking of grave sites. A few months ago I visited a German grave site in Belgium. At one point after WW2, the Germans had over 100 different grave sites in Belgium. Just random grave sites that were in farm fields and other places. Some had nazi propaganda present. After the second time they tried to destroy Belgium, the Belgium people had enough and forced them to consolidate. The German grave site I went to had as many as 12 people per head stone. 80 years later, the Belgium people are more forgiving and when a body is found, they have ceremonies.

 

[jsb]

So do you CF peeps visit cemeteries and graves? Just popped into my head since I'll be in my hometown in a couple of weeks for a single day. Not really envisioning me ever being in that town again so maybe that is why it popped into my head. I think the only time I've ever done the graveside visit thing was as a kid being dragged there by my mother or father. My mother used to do the flowers on graves thing. Got me wondering if that was sort of just an older generation thing or maybe something that just runs in families or something.

Note: Not counting military related stuff. As an adult I did go by choice to ceremonies in cemeteries on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day with my dad and his fellow veterans. I am more talking visiting family graves.

I have a friend from college who died almost 20 years ago at age 26. I’ve left flowers every Memorial Day. (A great mystery is that for years, I’d go back to pick up the flowers well within the deadline and they would be gone. I assume her family removes them but it’s weird. I don’t bother to go back now, I figure the cemetery can get rid of them.)

My mom almost always does flowers for my grandparents and some others for Memorial Day so I suppose that’s why I do it.

 

[fcclone]

So do you CF peeps visit cemeteries and graves? Just popped into my head since I'll be in my hometown in a couple of weeks for a single day. Not really envisioning me ever being in that town again so maybe that is why it popped into my head. I think the only time I've ever done the graveside visit thing was as a kid being dragged there by my mother or father. My mother used to do the flowers on graves thing. Got me wondering if that was sort of just an older generation thing or maybe something that just runs in families or something.

Note: Not counting military related stuff. As an adult I did go by choice to ceremonies in cemeteries on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day with my dad and his fellow veterans. I am more talking visiting family graves.

Every Memorial Day weekend I place flowers on my daughter, father-in-law, mother-in-law, and sister graves.

 

[jsb]

My wife and I had this discussion last night. I'll visit an old cemetery when I'm traveling (ie: Boston Freedom Trail), but I have no desire to go look at a stone with my dead loved ones name on it as they lie in a wooden box encased in a metal or concrete box shriveled up in their nice clothes and embalming chemicals underneath me.

I told my wife I would like to be cremated and evenly split between my children. They can individually do with me what means the most to them. If they want to display me on their mantle, go for it. Flush me? Sure. Fire me into space? Awesome. I'll be dead and I don't care any more.

I think my parents want to be cremated. I feel pretty strongly that I’d like them to have a headstone.

 

[cyzygy11]

I, for one, enjoy visiting cemeteries. It is a great way to learn local history and family dynamics. There is nothing like visiting on Memorial Day weekend; you can see by the flowers who is in favor or out of favor. Sometimes, there are unique markers describing that person's contribution to the community.

On the negative side, cemeteries can reflect our nation's racial and ethnic divides, and act to remind us that once vibrant families and once important individuals can fade into the mists of time. It is also the final plot for the lonely and the unloved. They all deserve a moment of respect. It is history and the wind; an admixture of honor and of hope for the future.

 

[Saul_T]

I think my parents want to be cremated. I feel pretty strongly that I’d like them to have a headstone.

You can do both! My dad has a plot where he will have a physical marker and be buried in a small urn box.

 

[Cyballz]

always go visit other people's graves, or they won't visit yours

 

[jsb]

You can do both! My dad has a plot where he will have a physical marker and be buried in a small urn box.

Yep, that’s what I’m planning on. We’ll see if they agree.

 

[cyphoon]

My wife and I regularly visit one gravesite of someone who was very close to us. That is about it. My parents are still alive. Hers have passed, but they are buried far away and in places that are not worth visiting.

H

 

[2122]

I pass through 2 cemeteries on my routine walks. Reinforces the notion that no one gets out of this life alive, and you can't take a damned thing with you, thus helping keep perspective balanced.

And many older cemeteries are great arboretums for the tree lovers.

 

[ackatch]

Only one I've actually gone to "visit" was Jack Trice's while I was in Cleveland for a Fraternity Conference. Buddy (who also went to ISU) and I drove down to Hiram to see the headstone, then went and golfed at one of the most interesting (read: back woods cousin *******) golf courses I've ever set foot on.

 

[carvers4math]

Yes, frequently. Most of my family are in a small town cemetery. It’s maybe a 15 minute drive and I take the dog, who likes to watch cows.

I go on various holidays, birthdays, death days, or just days the dog and I could use a peaceful place.

I have taken over decorating the family graves for an elderly widow who lives in our neighborhood. They all have those awkward vases attached to the stone and they are pretty annoying to deal with when there is precipitation. Near her family graves, I frequently see a guy having a beer on the grave of a woman who died young.

It’s a great place to bird watch and the only place I have seen a quail in years.

I look at the older graves and how young the women died and just get replaced by the husband with another woman that died young. Assuming childbirth as the dude will have something crazy like 16 children or something.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

I was upset at my grandma for wanting cremation but as I've gotten older more okay with it and that is my intention.

No reason for a headstone as I don't have descendants who would ever come visit it.