Pre-kids when people would say "relationships are hard" and mean just in general and that you have to work on it yadda yadda.........I'm always like, if it's hard when you don't have kids, true family/financial/work/health stress......it's not going to get easier when you add those other things in. That sounds kinda braggy but for most of DH and my time together, we've had only short-lived stressors. If everyday regular life has us frequently fighting, that's not a good sign, imo. I would hear crap like well if you don't fight you must not be talking or "you're still in the honeymoon phase".
Sort of related - I'm in a mom group for other babies born last summer and too often these topics come up of the husband not helping or terrible boundaries with in-laws. Every time, as they give more detail you discover this didn't develop the day the baby was born. It was an issue beforehand, only exacerbated by a child. Like, what did you expect?!?!? The things that have gotten harder for us were things that existed beforehand - my frustration with DH often coming home later than I'd like, his non-acceptance of a dishwasher washing dishes. He probably gets frustrated with my perfection
(probably actually my desire to get too much done and/or get passive aggressive)........IDK, like if DH had been terrible at helping with housework or setting boundaries with family pre-kid, I'd have thought long and hard before adding that to the mix. I see some of these posts and wonder wtf these women were thinking having a child in that situation. .
