Random Thoughts XII - This Thread Delivers

[BoxsterCy]

Maybe I’m an exception because my dad and I didn’t have a great relationship, but when my dad died, I ******* hated the “how are you doing” question. Like, there’s no really a good way for someone grieving to answer that and it makes it uncomfortable.

I generally avoid saying much because nothing I say is going to help. Plus I am not religious, at all, so don't/can't go there.

Maybe I've been lucky myself that I haven't really been close to anyone who died young. Pretty much everyone I have known who died was elderly. I am a lucky charm. Know me and live into your 80's. Seriously, I should be something actuaries calc in life expectancy. Although I think it's only good as long as I myself is still alive. The charm dies when I do.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

Best way to take that is to understand that they ask that because they do care about you. In those moments, both of you are uncomfortable and they are trying to break the ice and give condolences.

I get what you’re saying, but I guess in my opinion it’s something someone says when they don’t really care and just need something to say. It just feels like such a cop out thing someone would say when they don’t know anything about you or the deceased but know they have to say something.

I don’t know, just never cared for it. “What can I do for you” carries a lot more weight, I think, because it’s actually active instead of passive.

That said, I do have a tendency to put a lot more into the words we use than most other people.

 

[BCClone]

I get what you’re saying, but I guess in my opinion it’s something someone says when they don’t really care and just need something to say. It just feels like such a cop out thing someone would say when they don’t know anything about you or the deceased but know they have to say something.

I don’t know, just never cared for it. “What can I do for you” carries a lot more weight, I think, because it’s actually active instead of passive.

That said, I do have a tendency to put a lot more into the words we use than most other people.

I guess we just differ on that. Thinking back, I believe I asked my youngest sister how she was doing when we met at my older sisters visitation this summer. I then gave her a hug and the conversation continued.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

I guess we just differ on that. Thinking back, I believe I asked my youngest sister how she was doing when we met at my older sisters visitation this summer. I then gave her a hug and the conversation continued.

Probably different when it's a family member you're talking to but both of you have valid points. My mother died when I was 23 (she was 52) - and I still remember people not knowing what to say to us. It was very awkward.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

Probably different when it's a family member you're talking to but both of you have valid points. My mother died when I was 23 (she was 52) - and I still remember people not knowing what to say to us. It was very awkward.

I also hated “I’m sorry for your loss” or “We’ll keep you in our thoughts or prayers.”

Like, I know the response is “thank you.” And I know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that response and it’s 100% acceptable. But for some reason, every time I said it, it just felt weird.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

I also hated “I’m sorry for your loss” or “We’ll keep you in our thoughts or prayers.”

Like, I know the response is “thank you.” And I know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that response and it’s 100% acceptable. But for some reason, every time I said it, it just felt weird.

I understand. It's also ridiculously awkward for them too. No one every really knows what to say at a visitation; not the visitors, and not the bereaved. It was all very surreal.

 

[BoxsterCy]

I also hated “I’m sorry for your loss” or “We’ll keep you in our thoughts or prayers.”

Like, I know the response is “thank you.” And I know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that response and it’s 100% acceptable. But for some reason, every time I said it, it just felt weird.

This is why if anything happens to Riley "I'll be there for you" with hookers and blow if you're up to it. Otherwise I'll just bring a nice bottle of Macallan.

 

[BCClone]

I also hated “I’m sorry for your loss” or “We’ll keep you in our thoughts or prayers.”

Like, I know the response is “thank you.” And I know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that response and it’s 100% acceptable. But for some reason, every time I said it, it just felt weird.

I get the feeling that you don’t like receiving gifts or asking for favors or help from people. Not bagging on you, I’m kinda like that myself and it’s just the way some people are, I’m just getting the impression that it your style.

 

[BoxsterCy]

Temptation to go biking is pretty low since the wind is still blowing like crazy. So, if someone wanted to come over and help paint some baseboards this afternoon I'd be cool with that. Got good natural light filtering into the living room for it.

Or help me move a couple hundred pounds of TV and TV stand out of the way.

 

[BoxsterCy]

The whole order something online on Saturday and have it plopped on your front porch by noon on Sunday still kind of amazes me a little.

 

[stormchaser2014]

The whole order something online on Saturday and have it plopped on your front porch by noon on Sunday still kind of amazes me a little.

What I don't get is why it takes longer for a package to go from New Berlin (Milwaukee suburb 50 miles away) to here (about 3 days) than it does from Ohio to New Berlin (less than 24 hours). Fedex Smartpost is the absolute worst.

 

[Ms3r4ISU]

Temptation to go biking is pretty low since the wind is still blowing like crazy. So, if someone wanted to come over and help paint some baseboards this afternoon I'd be cool with that. Got good natural light filtering into the living room for it.

Or help me move a couple hundred pounds of TV and TV stand out of the way.

I would definitely watch you move a tv while standing out of your way.
Been reading some here, but posting none because I’ve been with daughter’s family and 5-6 wk. early granddaughter. Quite a learning experience. The only thing that watching years of medical dramas on tv prepared me for was the hand washing procedure. I can do that pretty well.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

I get the feeling that you don’t like receiving gifts or asking for favors or help from people. Not bagging on you, I’m kinda like that myself and it’s just the way some people are, I’m just getting the impression that it your style.

You would be correct.

 

[wxman1]

MrsWx finally gave in and went to urgent care. She has laryngitis and step. Then we have in and took our daughter in. Dr thought it was RSV but ended up being strep as well. It’s going to be a fun week...

 

[harimad]

The whole order something online on Saturday and have it plopped on your front porch by noon on Sunday still kind of amazes me a little.

I mean the Sears catalog could do that too, couldn't it? As long as there was a train station near enough, and you didn't mind that the Sunday was weeks and weeks after the Saturday that we're talking about?

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

I'm the same way @cyrocksmypants

When my dad died. My friends came over and I was just like "I get it, we don't need to talk about it. Let's just talk about something normal. Then we talked about girls and sports and all was well."

 

[Cybirdy]

I would definitely watch you move a tv and stand out of your way.
Been reading some here, but posting none because I’ve been with daughter’s family and 5-6 wk. early granddaughter. Quite a learning experience. The only thing that watching years of medical dramas on tv prepared me for was the hand washing procedure. I can do that pretty well.

Hope things are going well for everyone! We had a (full term) NICU baby and can still smell the Purell they used at the hospital thirteen years later, takes me back.

 

[Ms3r4ISU]

Thanks. Things continue to get better, although she seems to be a slow-to-get-to-it and quick-to-end feeder. For my first meeting and photo with her last week. I specifically wore an ISU Cyclones shirt. My mom emailed “nice shirt!” (My mom does not do exclamation marks in email Well, she didn’t.
Plus, I’m one or two or three hours behind the rest of the continental U.S. which messes with my time awareness.

 

[Ms3r4ISU]

MrsWx finally gave in and went to urgent care. She has laryngitis and step. Then we have in and took our daughter in. Dr thought it was RSV but ended up being strep as well. It’s going to be a fun week...

Thank goodness it’s not RSV!

 

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

Is anyone watching that show Manifest? I watched the first episode and was wondering if it's worth my time to watch any more.