Why is life worth living?

Sorry I was a little emotional. We finally got into our new Neurologist on Tuesday after waiting forever. Great news is that he’s one of the most respected Parkinson’s experts in the country, bad news is only UofI Hospital or Mayo would take me so we had to go to Iowa City.
Jer, just a couple comments, sharing info.

We had a close friend with Parkinsons (he was in his 50s), and when the meds were not working anymore, they gave him the Borg implant in his brain, and he had a tremendous result from that. Even was able to ride his Harley again. And that was at U of I, so good things can happen there!


But also have to comment on Mayo Clinic, for you but also for everyone. If you can get there, go there. Its the freaking starship Enterprise up there.

Gf just had spinal fusion surgery up there 2 weeks ago. Yes they have the best doctors, but that is not the half of it. Everything just WORKS. Checking in? Simple and there is someone friendly right there to help too. Scheduling? Same - they take the time to talk to you and sort it out. Its so well organized.

But mostly it was people - nurses, admin folks, housekeeping, everyone - friendly, take the time to talk to you, good mood and attitude, ask you what you need. It was all just so positive. I assume they hire positive people somehow, but also deliberately create a positive helpful culture as well. Which of course leads to better patient outcomes, but its gotta be a great place to work too. Totally opposite of everywhere else I have been (with her, with dad, self) where everyone is too busy to be bothered with you, wants you to go away, and just kind of surly.

She was there 3 nights and had the same 2 nurses all 3 days for day/night shift. They got to know her, what was bothering her specifically, and that helped them help her. And its comforting when you know who will come check on you.

Best run organization of any kind I have ever experienced.
 
To go back to the Original Post. Why is life worth living? Sometimes it's to test our patience and our strength. I found out the girl I am dating hooked up with the bartender a few nights ago. Found this out this morning. I thought we were exclusive. Now I ended that relationship and she is doing the poor me thing. I am shook. I really liked this girl and thought it was long term. However, I am sitting in my office drinking a THC drink and calming my nerves. Trying to process. That is what makes me stronger. I kind of thrive on getting over pain. Not sure if that is the Cyclone fan in me, the Marine thing in me, or just the way my parents raised me. To not be the poor me guy. To smile and shake my head. To move on. I think the best part of sadness and pain the coming out the other side with an improved situation. I am not sure what this thread is discussing now. I have not read it for a while. However, the pain and suffering is a great way to realize that when you are at the bottom, the only thing you can do is go up and it's roses at the top.
 
I ask myself the OP’s question nearly every day honestly. If it weren’t for my wife and our two grown children, I’m scared about how I would answer it honestly.

Dealing with my own health issues, and just feel terrible for my wife that she has to deal with me and all my issues. This isn’t what she deserves.

I’ve even told her that I’d understand completely if she left me for someone who could give her the life she deserves to have, but luckily for me she says that’s just stupid talk.
 
To go back to the Original Post. Why is life worth living? Sometimes it's to test our patience and our strength. I found out the girl I am dating hooked up with the bartender a few nights ago. Found this out this morning. I thought we were exclusive. Now I ended that relationship and she is doing the poor me thing. I am shook. I really liked this girl and thought it was long term. However, I am sitting in my office drinking a THC drink and calming my nerves. Trying to process. That is what makes me stronger. I kind of thrive on getting over pain. Not sure if that is the Cyclone fan in me, the Marine thing in me, or just the way my parents raised me. To not be the poor me guy. To smile and shake my head. To move on. I think the best part of sadness and pain the coming out the other side with an improved situation. I am not sure what this thread is discussing now. I have not read it for a while. However, the pain and suffering is a great way to realize that when you are at the bottom, the only thing you can do is go up and it's roses at the top.

That's too bad but isn't the same thing as a chronic debilitating condition that doesn't improve and causes death.
 
Not sure what age others here are, I'm 54. I've learned that the "50s Squeeze" is a very real thing, at least for me. I assumed when I got into my 50s things would lighten up considerably, but my early 50s have been probably the hardest and most challenging of my life.

If you're not familiar with the 50s squeeze, it's basically just about all the things you find falling onto you as you enter that decade of life.

1. If you have kids, they're likely out of HS and often graduating college, transitioning out of the home into adulthood. Yes, the idea of an empty nest is liberating, but having kids transitioning into adulthood brings a ton of anxiety as well. And in some cases you may still find yourself supporting them financially after college.

2. If you're blessed to still have a parent or two, this is the age when your parent(s) are dealing with their own end-of-life issues, which is obviously very stressful for everyone. You may also find yourself financially supporting them, creating another layer of anxiety.

3. In your 50s is when you're likely to start experiencing your own health issues more frequently, and in many cases those health issues can lean to the more serious side.

4. These are your peak earning years as a professional, and the stress and anxiety that comes from maintaining your career or continuing to grow it and earn more, while also dealing with everything else coming at you, can be very tough on you.

5. Your own retirement is not that far off on the horizon, which obviously can bring a lot of excitement but also a lot of anxiety. Will I be able to retire at 65? 70? 75? Have we saved enough? What are we going to do with ourselves?

Everyone's different, but I can say all of these things have put the crunch on me over the past several years.
I had not heard that term before, but these points hit home. In addition to my aging parents (93 and 91), I'm also the youngest of 8. During a recent uncle's funeral, one of my brothers goes "I feel bad for you. If everything holds true, you'll have to go through this with all of us." It was never anything I'd considered for some reason, but now I have that stuck in my head for the rest of my life because of my a-hole of a brother. :curse:

The empty nest thing was something I was severely dreading, and it hit me incredibly hard. As many on here know, I lost my son to a heart issue when he was an infant. It was crushing for all the obvious reasons, and we ended up being parents of an only child. On top of the "normal" grief, the weird part nobody really discusses is that sometimes happy events can be some of the hardest to fully enjoy. When my daughter celebrated an accomplishment, you get the joy of something good followed by the pain of knowing you don't get to experience it again. Luckily, my wife and I agreed to communicate any time one of us gets emotionally punched out of the blue, and we've done our best to be crutches for each other.

When my daughter went off to college, the house was eerily empty and quiet. She brought a certain positive vibe to everything, and the day-to-day interactions and joking around came to a screeching halt. It is such an abrupt end to a major part of a parent's life. She's not that far away and we talk fairly regularly, so it seems weird to feel so sad about it, but it is just so incredibly different.

As far as points 3-5 on your list, I'm doing ok so far. But the timetable for these things is really ramping up. What seemed far away is staring me in my face now.
 
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I ask myself the OP’s question nearly every day honestly. If it weren’t for my wife and our two grown children, I’m scared about how I would answer it honestly.

Dealing with my own health issues, and just feel terrible for my wife that she has to deal with me and all my issues. This isn’t what she deserves.

I’ve even told her that I’d understand completely if she left me for someone who could give her the life she deserves to have, but luckily for me she says that’s just stupid talk.

Incredibly sorry to hear that. I thank my wife every day because for her I’m still here and she devotes so much of her energy and time to take care of me when she deserves better. That’s the thing with love though we’ve been together 25 years since I was 16 in 1998 and it’s usually the bad times when we find that our relationship is stronger now than it has ever been. It is absolutely hell on them but they don’t complain. It’s amazing what we’ll do without even feeling overwhelmed by it to help the people we love. She’s everything to me.
 

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