My monthly collection of amusing/enlightening comments from CF message boards.
It's impossible to document all the fun, so if I omitted something notable, feel free to add to the thread. Also, any time you encounter a gem and want to nominate it, PM me.
From “The Economic Cost to the University of a Poorly Performing Basketball Team”
@tyler24: Fun fact about correlations... Increased Ice cream sales and shark attacks go hand-in-hand. Do you think it's the ice cream sales bringing the sharks in?
@CyCrazy: Now that I think about it, yes.
From “Football Facility and Gameday Plaza Renderings”
@Stewo: Where are we putting the monument to all the Iowa band members who lost their lives that day?
@Remo Gaggi: A statue of Stork, leading the band the wrong way.
From “Official KSU-ISU game thread”
@Clonefan32: Lose at home to this K-State team and the wheels have official come completely off.
@SpokaneCY: Exactly how many wheels do you have on this team? We're spinning off wheels like a clown car spits out clowns...
From “Who Should We Hire After Prohm?”
@jcyclonee: Shakira.
@peteypie: Now this is a hire I could get behind, if you know what I mean.
From “What’s Going on Here?”
@cyclone: Why don't they call them “gnus” anymore?
@coolerifyoudid: Don’t complain. No gnus is good gnus.
From “Political Quiz”
@cyrocksmypants: I have no desire to answer 100 questions for it to tell me I’m a communist, when you guys can just call me that anyway.
From “Friday OT: The Modern Stone-Age Family”
@Cybyassociation: Thought this thread was going to be about raising a family in the days of legalized marijuana.
---
@Angie: I think going to the Middle Ages or Renaissance times would be amazing... but I don't want to stay long enough to have to pee; chamber pots sound horrifying.
From “AARP”
@BoxsterCy: I keep getting s**t from them. Thinking maybe it would be worth it for hotel/senior discounts … Downside: I hate old conservative farts and they are a collective of old conservative farts, while I am senior advisor to the Che Guevara Revolutionary Brigade of Minnesota.
From “Official Texas Tech vs. Iowa State Gameday thread”
@Cyched: Hard to believe this is the same ISU team that hung with Florida A&M the whole game.
---
@Prone2Clone: I think I'll go dust the undersides of all my furniture.
---
@atlantacyclone: I think our problem is offense and defense...
@Chipper: Special teams look decent.
From “If You’re Into It: My new Podcast”
@ChrisMWilliams: Please give me feedback on guests you'd like to hear from, topics to tackle, etc.
@CycloneErik: Do you want us to listen before providing feedback, or just do our normal thing?
From “The End of Oak-Elm?”
@cycloner29: The memories of working in Oak-Elm food service, the floor parties, walking out of girls' dorm at 7 a.m. Food service was a blast!!
@JM4CY: Walked out, or kicked out naked?
Random “Mailbag” nuggets:
@Cyched: What is your favorite penis-shaped food?
@cyrocksmypants: Probably fried penis.
---
@Doc: Got a biological question for you guys: What is the scariest bird in the world?
@jcyclonee: Do those flying snakes count as birds?
@Doc: Do I look like I’m in Audubon Society or something?
---
@Sigmapolis: Heaven's Gate is a very solid choice, @GTO. Their leader Do (aka Marshall Applewhite), has to be on the Mount Rushmore of all-time crazy looking cult leaders.
@VeloClone: Marshall Applewhite? Didn't he play for Texas?
----
@Fitzy: You must select two real people, alive or dead, to serve as a candidate and their running mate in the 2020 presidential election … Which two do you pick, and why?
@GTO: Just realized you said REAL people. How about Lincoln and JFK? I don't think anyone could shoot down that ticket. It would be bulletproof. OK, I'll stop now. (apologies to @ImJustKCClone, since I know she lived through both of those)
----
@Gunnerclone: I was tossing around the idea of starting my own rival malebag.
@Ms3r4ISU: If you're a guy, you already have a malebag. And I don't want to see it.
---
@SCyclone: What’s the most creative buyout proposal for Steve Prohm's contract that you've heard so far?
@Cy$: My Tetris Championship winnings will be used to buy out Prohm.
---
@BCClone: Who is the guest answerer? That may affect my questions.
@Cyched: @BCClone
@BCClone: Hell’s bells. That really changes it.
It's impossible to document all the fun, so if I omitted something notable, feel free to add to the thread. Also, any time you encounter a gem and want to nominate it, PM me.
- In case you missed it: Notable Posts, January '20
From “The Economic Cost to the University of a Poorly Performing Basketball Team”
@tyler24: Fun fact about correlations... Increased Ice cream sales and shark attacks go hand-in-hand. Do you think it's the ice cream sales bringing the sharks in?
@CyCrazy: Now that I think about it, yes.
From “Football Facility and Gameday Plaza Renderings”
@Stewo: Where are we putting the monument to all the Iowa band members who lost their lives that day?
@Remo Gaggi: A statue of Stork, leading the band the wrong way.
From “Official KSU-ISU game thread”
@Clonefan32: Lose at home to this K-State team and the wheels have official come completely off.
@SpokaneCY: Exactly how many wheels do you have on this team? We're spinning off wheels like a clown car spits out clowns...
From “Who Should We Hire After Prohm?”
@jcyclonee: Shakira.
@peteypie: Now this is a hire I could get behind, if you know what I mean.
From “What’s Going on Here?”
@cyclone: Why don't they call them “gnus” anymore?
@coolerifyoudid: Don’t complain. No gnus is good gnus.
From “Political Quiz”
@cyrocksmypants: I have no desire to answer 100 questions for it to tell me I’m a communist, when you guys can just call me that anyway.
From “Friday OT: The Modern Stone-Age Family”
@Cybyassociation: Thought this thread was going to be about raising a family in the days of legalized marijuana.
---
@Angie: I think going to the Middle Ages or Renaissance times would be amazing... but I don't want to stay long enough to have to pee; chamber pots sound horrifying.
From “AARP”
@BoxsterCy: I keep getting s**t from them. Thinking maybe it would be worth it for hotel/senior discounts … Downside: I hate old conservative farts and they are a collective of old conservative farts, while I am senior advisor to the Che Guevara Revolutionary Brigade of Minnesota.
From “Official Texas Tech vs. Iowa State Gameday thread”
@Cyched: Hard to believe this is the same ISU team that hung with Florida A&M the whole game.
---
@Prone2Clone: I think I'll go dust the undersides of all my furniture.
---
@atlantacyclone: I think our problem is offense and defense...
@Chipper: Special teams look decent.
From “If You’re Into It: My new Podcast”
@ChrisMWilliams: Please give me feedback on guests you'd like to hear from, topics to tackle, etc.
@CycloneErik: Do you want us to listen before providing feedback, or just do our normal thing?
From “The End of Oak-Elm?”
@cycloner29: The memories of working in Oak-Elm food service, the floor parties, walking out of girls' dorm at 7 a.m. Food service was a blast!!
@JM4CY: Walked out, or kicked out naked?
Random “Mailbag” nuggets:
@Cyched: What is your favorite penis-shaped food?
@cyrocksmypants: Probably fried penis.
---
@Doc: Got a biological question for you guys: What is the scariest bird in the world?
@jcyclonee: Do those flying snakes count as birds?
@Doc: Do I look like I’m in Audubon Society or something?
---
@Sigmapolis: Heaven's Gate is a very solid choice, @GTO. Their leader Do (aka Marshall Applewhite), has to be on the Mount Rushmore of all-time crazy looking cult leaders.
@VeloClone: Marshall Applewhite? Didn't he play for Texas?
----
@Fitzy: You must select two real people, alive or dead, to serve as a candidate and their running mate in the 2020 presidential election … Which two do you pick, and why?
@GTO: Just realized you said REAL people. How about Lincoln and JFK? I don't think anyone could shoot down that ticket. It would be bulletproof. OK, I'll stop now. (apologies to @ImJustKCClone, since I know she lived through both of those)
----
@Gunnerclone: I was tossing around the idea of starting my own rival malebag.
@Ms3r4ISU: If you're a guy, you already have a malebag. And I don't want to see it.
---
@SCyclone: What’s the most creative buyout proposal for Steve Prohm's contract that you've heard so far?
@Cy$: My Tetris Championship winnings will be used to buy out Prohm.
---
@BCClone: Who is the guest answerer? That may affect my questions.
@Cyched: @BCClone
@BCClone: Hell’s bells. That really changes it.
