A husband decides to show his appreciation for his wife and for no special occasion he brings her home a bouquet of flowers. This being a totally unexpected gesture, the wife says "now I suppose I'll have to lay in bed for a week with my legs spread apart?" The husband replies "why, don't you have a vase?"
Humor`
- Thread starter cydnote
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Pretty proud of my myself today. Shot my first ever turkey this morning, took me 31 years!
Scared the **** out of the other people in the grocery store though
Scared the **** out of the other people in the grocery store though
A man calls his doctor and says "Doc, I think my wife is dead!"
The doc asks "what makes you think that?"
The man replies: " Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up,"
The doc asks "what makes you think that?"
The man replies: " Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up,"
Not for all audiences, but this is funny to me:
A wife feels that her husband has not been showing her the attraction they once had in the first few years of the marriage and after several failed attempts to regain that passion she decides to consult a sex therapist. The session begins with the therapist informing her that 'men are creatures of habit", stating that she really needs to shock him into change. She asks the wife to describe their daily routine. The wife states that he comes home each day after work, goes to their upstairs bedroom, hangs up his suitcoat, goes back down and grabs a bite to eat, plops in front of the TV with a beer, and then it's off to bed. The therapist thinks for a second then states: "you really have to change things up", "I suggest you be waiting on the bed naked, pull your knees back to your ears, and let him have that view as the first thing to get the evening started.
Skeptical, the wife decides to give it a try. She hears him pull into the garage so she runs up the stairs, gets naked and pulls her knees back just as he enters the room. The husband removes his coat, quickly glances over at her and says "why don't you brush your hair and put some lipstick on--you look like an a**hole."
A wife feels that her husband has not been showing her the attraction they once had in the first few years of the marriage and after several failed attempts to regain that passion she decides to consult a sex therapist. The session begins with the therapist informing her that 'men are creatures of habit", stating that she really needs to shock him into change. She asks the wife to describe their daily routine. The wife states that he comes home each day after work, goes to their upstairs bedroom, hangs up his suitcoat, goes back down and grabs a bite to eat, plops in front of the TV with a beer, and then it's off to bed. The therapist thinks for a second then states: "you really have to change things up", "I suggest you be waiting on the bed naked, pull your knees back to your ears, and let him have that view as the first thing to get the evening started.
Skeptical, the wife decides to give it a try. She hears him pull into the garage so she runs up the stairs, gets naked and pulls her knees back just as he enters the room. The husband removes his coat, quickly glances over at her and says "why don't you brush your hair and put some lipstick on--you look like an a**hole."
