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Fostering a child

I don't understand what grounds you had to actually call the cops. On a hunch? Kids say that they hate being somewhere, hate an adult, or hate parents, or their house for a myriad of reasons. Unless you heard or saw something that looked like actual abuse, I don't think you had grounds to call the police at all.
 
For the OP, I think you did the right thing....calling the PD. It is their job to take in information and respond. Sharing what you saw/heard is appropriate, not what you think could be happening. You could have been the first to report something like this about this child or family, or the tenth...the police/DHS sort all of that out.

As many others have shared, many times foster kids have had a rough go/life and sometimes the fosters are doing things (parenting) that the kids are not used to.

I grew up next to a foster home and most of the kids were in/out of the place (imagine how hard that is on a kid, changing schools, environments, etc) and were many times the "bad kids" on the school bus (in hindsight, probably a lot of survival instinct).

I still remember when I was about 6-7 years old one of the kids sat by me on the bus and invited me over. I went over and and did the typical "what should we play?" type of question and he proceeded to get a shoe box out to show me his toys...and that was all he had...and at the time I couldn't understand how someone couldn't have more toys...but that always stuck with me.
 
My grandparents were foster parents when I was a kid. I remember hearing stories about one kid whose parents had abused him and frequently would lock him in his room with no dinner. Every morning at breakfast he would fill a hat with Cheerios and take it to his room just in case.

Some of the foster kids turn out well though. One treats my grandparents almost as if they were her real parents and more than one of them still like to meet with them every now and then.
 
Aclone said:
BTW--I hope this is something that you saw happening, not "seen". I'm serious. I'm tired of rampant bad grammar that comes solely from ignorance.
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cloneswereall said:
I don't understand what grounds you had to actually call the cops. On a hunch? Kids say that they hate being somewhere, hate an adult, or hate parents, or their house for a myriad of reasons. Unless you heard or saw something that looked like actual abuse, I don't think you had grounds to call the police at all.
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It's OK to call the police "just in case",.... he did well.
 
Yeah he did what he could have/ should have. Maybe I've watched too much CSI and Criminal Minds, but . . .
 
Aclone said:
Leave what be? You called the police. What are you imagining is happening? MANY children in foster homes "hate" being there--at least some of the time, simply because it isn't their parents' house. Such protests can also be a manipulative form of behavior. If there is an issue of abuse, the police will take care of it. You did your job.

BTW--I hope this is something that you saw happening, not "seen". I'm serious. I'm tired of rampant bad grammar that comes solely from ignorance.
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BTW--I'm serious! This is a frickin message board, not English class. Back off Hot Shot or better yet, just go away.
 
Aclone. Wow. If you really are trying to verbally joust...go ahead and bring it on. The asbestos from mommy's basement must be getting to you.
 
Sounds like a situation that it was better to error on the side of caution and you did the right thing IMHO.

My wife and I had over a dozen different foster children over a 10 year period. Several of them had some unbelievably horrific lives. Several of them literally hated everything in existence. It is difficult to judge them by normal social standards.
 
Jambalaya said:
I know some friends who started fostering a 10 year old girl....I admire their generosity, and they're wonderful people.

Listening to their account of the first couple months of fostering, it was clear this girl was from a low-life white trash family who's biological parents didn't care.

The girl was also fostered prior and PLAYED THE SYSTEM on our friends....which is to play little mind games, guilt trips, and the sympathy card with their fostering parents, in order to get her way

On the other hand, I have run across people that foster 2-3 kids at a time, and do this year round specifically FOR THE GOV'T CHECK $$$. They have no scruples
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I'm sorry, but no one fosters children for the government check. We have three level three's, and a level two foster child(the higher the level, out of three, usually, the more problems/more assistance), and the government assistance does NOT cover all of their expenses.

However, we have come across our fair share of foster homes that are less then ideal, but really who's home is perfect. Over the Years i have come to the conclusion that EVERY family is dysfunctional to a degree, some families are just better at hiding it.

Having said that the OP did the right thing by calling the authorities, if he was truly concerned. The only other thing he could have done was file a report with DHS and they would send a worker out to investigate. I am slightly surprised that the parent divulged that she was a foster parent. As foster parents we are not allowed to directly identify ourselves as fosters to the children. It violates the child's right to privacy, and in our training we are constantly reminded not to identify ourselves as such(unless absolutely imperative). However the children are allowed to identify themselves as fosters.
 
Jambalaya said:
I'm sorry...you're totally wrong
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Is this your assumption, or did they tell you this? If you are providing adequate care for the children, you are not making money off of their stipend. If they told you they are doing it for the $$$$$$ they are very stupid people.
 
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