CF Notable Posts: Q2 2022

cyclones500

Well-Known Member
Jan 29, 2010
30,322
17,189
113
Michigan
basslakebeacon.com
My quarterly mini-roundup of notable comments and quips from Cyclone Fanatic, April-June 2022.

Merely a sample of amusements I encountered and documented during the 3-month period. If anyone recalls a nugget I missed, add to thread. Feel free to quote favorites from the list.

Extra challenge: Can you spot the fabricated comment? (no prizes involved, bragging rights only ).

Some entries have been edited for clarity, brevity, spelling and proper use of apostrophes.

KEY: Bold is thread title (or summary of it) ... "***" indicates a break in narrative flow.


I’ll have to do this in two segments, due to character count.

PART 1

Mark Emmert stepping down

(Nominee for Notable Posts Hall of Fame)
@Mr Janny: Emmert didn't do anything that the universities that make up that'd be great. We were hot dogs. Walmart why is this? It's just not boiling NCAA didn't want him to do.
@clonehenge: I'm going to need a translator for this...
@Trick: This belongs in the Autocorrect Hall of Fame.
Mr Janny: Wow. Remind me to not use text-to-speech when my wife is placing a pick-up order.

Friday OT: Help You Find Your Talent
@20eyes: Galaga is the video game God intended.

Cyclones get 4th commitment, Jack Sadowsky
@heitclone: Kid has Jake Knott written all over him.
@VeloClone: Kids these days get the strangest tattoos.

Why Won’t Jamie Pollard Schedule Any P5 Schools Other Than Iowa?
@Rabbuk: So, who are we pissed at in here?

Excerpts: ‘Corner 3: Interview with Aljaz Kunc’
Jaz: My teammates aren’t hard to guard. Just ask Isaiah. I’d lock his a** up right now!
***
Jaz: I don’t want to seem cocky, but I definitely have the most diverse music taste on the team.
@JStanz51: Who has the worst music taste (on the team)?
Jaz: Caleb Grill … put that in the headline, actually: ‘Caleb Grill has the worst music taste on the team.’
***
Scotty (regarding player-transfer message cards): “My heart will always be here” … No, it won’t! Your butt’s gonna be on a bus or a plane, and your heart’s gonna be somewhere else.”

Student Section Moving (JTS)
@SECyclone: Looks like JP is moving the student section in 2022, for safety reasons.
@3TrueFans: I feel safer already.

Mike Tyson punches man in face on plane
@PSYclone22: Guy had it coming … he was chewing his ear off.

The ‘We Will’ Collective
@Gunnerclone: I’ll need to see who the organizers and leaders of this organization are.
@Jeremy: You won’t be disappointed.
@Lexclone: Are you not familiar with Gunnerclone’s body of work?
@CyCrazy: I wouldn’t call it a “body of work,” more like a gelatinous blob of stupid takes and getting stoned. (I am fine with getting stoned.)
Gunnerclone: Please point out these stupid takes.
@nfrine: Gunner, there is a word limit....

Tyrese Hunter entering transfer portal
@Gunnerclone: When I see Marcus Smart on TV, it always makes him look much smaller than he is.
@qwerty: You need a bigger TV, so the players are life-size.
@cynpost: Get a Smart TV.
***
@mynameisjonas: If the 1992 Dream Team found a way to conceive a baby together, it would be named Tyrese Hunter.
@CloneGuy8: He’s a combo of Hakeem Olajuwon and Bill Wennington.

Charlies Weis read KU football message boards
@GTO: "Have you considered the premium board?" is the CF equivalent of “We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.”

2022 NFL Draft Thread
@Remo Gaggi: Will someone please get past security and punch Reese Davis in the nuts?

All Newly Declared Jets Fans
@Cyientist: My 6-year-old randomly checked out a school library book about the N.Y. Jets this week. I’m thinking of giving him access to the Draft Kings account.
@HFCS: I think it’s hilarious there is a physical book about the Jets in a school library.

JTS Improvements: Want More
@Aclone: Underground tunnel in a flood plain. Seems legit.
@Cyclones_R_GR8: Direct the Hawkeye band that way.
@JM4CY: That whole debacle never stops being crazy to me, that it ever happened in the first place.
@BillBrasky4Cy: You mess with the sousaphones, you get the horns.

Dead bird in toilet bowl
(@CycloneRulzzz nominee for “Clonies Thread of the Year”)
@CoachHines3: I went down stairs and, to my surprise, there is a big-ass black starling dead in our terlet.
@BCClone: Not a way to go. Drowning and then having a woman pee on you.
***
CoachHines3: My b-hole is for entry only, not exit.
Full thread here: bit.ly/3y69DDh

AJ Green in the Portal
@Statefan10: UNI1ISU2, don’t dumb my posts. Only @CoachHines3 is allowed to that.
***
@carvers4math: It’s weird how I had never heard of this guy before TJ hired his dad, and now, reading CF, it’s like my life will lose all meaning if he doesn’t spend one year as a Cyclone.
***
@ruflosn: I’m hearing commitment soon.
@MeanDean: If we don't sign him, some of these posters are going to need to be committed.
***
@BWRhasnoAC: Oh snap … thread went from cougars, raptors and fat-shaming blue whales to old-man piss-fights about coaches.
***
@t-noah: I have it on good authority that the conclusion will conclude sometime in the near future.
 

cyclones500

Well-Known Member
Jan 29, 2010
30,322
17,189
113
Michigan
basslakebeacon.com
PART 2

Friday OT: Southern Trees Bear a Strange Fruit

@Angie: I like to pretend to silently judge people by their favorite condiment.
***
@BCClone: Garage fridge was freed of two hog manure samples a few days ago.
@Farnsworth: Well, you already won the question.
***
@Gonzo: Strangest thing would be a small leftover container of sauerkraut. Not strange to have leftover kraut, but strange I would save what looks like less than a teaspoon's worth.
***
@MJ29: A product for curly hair that has to be refrigerated. But I forget it's there and obviously forget to use it.
***
@pulse: Fish Sauce, why are you in my fridge? I don’t even like you.
***
carvers4math: Braunschweiger. Only way to get the dog to take his Simparica Trio, that allegedly is chewable and oh-so-tasty.
***
VeloClone: Should I be concerned that so many of people's weird things are regulars in my fridge?
***
@ISUCyclones2015: For my fridge, which is weirder: Dr. Pepper or lime juice?

Remote Jobs
Tpups21: Does anyone know of some good remote jobs currently available? I’ve been having a tough time finding much.
@ISUTex: Alaska is pretty remote. Have you looked up there?

Seat Selection
@8bitnes: How close is considered too close to the field?
@06_CY: On the visitors bench.

Miller and Condon
@Acylum: Had the chance to give The Fanatics a listen a couple days this week. Honest question, is it always just talking about whiskey, beer and interviewing advertisers and sponsors?
@Rabbuk: Seems like you got the two main food groups there.
@GMackey32: Advertisers and Sponsors?

Friday OT: A Little Bit it Drama
@Angie: Have you ever appeared in a play or musical, whether in high school or afterward … were you ever embarrassed on stage?
@coolerifyoudid: I sang "Born to Hand Jive" in our high school rendition of “Grease.” No video exists, but I'm pretty sure some dance moves resembled someone being electrocuted.

New MLB rule
@pourcyne: How about a time limit to the inning? For instance, after 45 days, the other team gets to bat.
VeloClone: What is this, cricket?

How do you make a PBJ?
@ISUCyclones2015: I can’t believe you people are contaminating ingredients like it’s nothing. Do you cut up raw chicken and just wipe the knife off on the side of the cutting board before cutting lettuce for the salad? Knife for peanut butter, spoon for jam.
@simply1: Do you typically eat raw chicken and salad together? I don’t.
***
@ImJustKCClone: I'm glad I'm not the only knife-licker!

Ohio State trademarks the word “The”
@davegilbertson: This is so stupid. Next thing we know, Kansas will trademark “BOO.”

Interesting ESPN Read: Interviewing Transfers
@EarthIsMan: Is there a link for the premium lounge post? I cannot remember the story there, either.
@KnappShack: I enjoy how the premium area is called a "lounge.” That's some classy shiz right there.
JM4CY: Every time I post in there, I feel like I’m typing with a sport coat on.

Random Thoughts #16
@Ms3r4ISU: Going to the gym for first time in about three weeks, due to eyelid surgery.
@BCClone: I think eyelids is code name for bewbs.
Ms3r4ISU: Nope, but I do have two of them, too. And the surgery fixes the “droopiness.” Titillating enough now? Edit: I have two pairs … Uh, I’m making this worse.
***
@jcyclonee: My daughter at Drake turns 21 this weekend. She told us not to visit. It's like she doesn't realize how cool her parents are.
***
jcyclonee: I smoked the brisket this weekend.
cyclones500: That seems like it could be slang for numerous things.

Anybody Drive to Canada Lately?
stateofmind: I’m headed to Saskatchewan in August and realize my passport is expired. Please tell me my gold star driver's license will get me into and back out of Canada.
@3TrueFans: Do you want me to tell you that, or do you want me to tell you the truth?

Williams/Blum WhiskeyPod: AlanisGate highlights
(June 5 segment)
@ChrisMWilliams: “Jagged Little Pill,” top 5 album of all time, any genre.
@brentblum: I don’t even know where to start.
******
(June 19 segment)
Blum: “Is Alanis just mad all the time?”
***
Blum: It’s all the same.
CW: Shut up.
***
Blum: People are on my side here.
CW: I don’t think they are.
Blum: One thing, two things; one thing, two things … It’s like Tom Osborne running the option in the ‘90s. It was effective at the time, but we’ve moved on.
***
CW: Blum is the worst.

(Possible bonus segment, coming separately)
 

cyclones500

Well-Known Member
Jan 29, 2010
30,322
17,189
113
Michigan
basslakebeacon.com
BONUS: BONUS SEGMENT!

Where’s Your Next Bite?
@MLawrence: OK, Judgies Mcjudgertons, Friday off-topic thread, how do you make your sammiches?
Angie: And the answer is - a thin smear of butter or some other... lubricant, for lack of a better word. Then cheese and layered meat should all fit within the crusts. Cut diagonally.
@Ms3r4ISU: Uhhh, Angie, what kind of sandwich needs a lubricant? Don't answer.
MLawrence: You could have just said ‘smear.’ Lubricant? It’s a sandwich, not a car.
***
@Macloney: The correct way to eat a sandwich: Bite all 4 corners, then the remaining points with crust present, then to work your way to the center in a circular pattern, with the last bite being the exact center.
JM4CY: You’re either a spider or a serial killer.
***
@Clonefan32: A soggy ham sandwich's only place in a civilized society is "oh **** you have a field trip today." There's no sense in dressing up this pig with a slice, just shove it into your face as quickly as possible and consider it the low point of your day.
***
@basaltyman: Only on CF can you find 5 pages of discussion about a half-eaten sandwich. This place is special.

Full thread here
 
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