Not eating as a family. Stopping for 1 hour

[mkadl]

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/10/work-its-whats-for-dinner/599770/

My oldest child is 38. My youngest 23. We always required supper, no matter what time. We all sat down, ate well and talked or maybe rushed thru it, but we all sat down, and talked or had or explanations of coming or past events and plans. I hate to sound old but it was kind of cool. I see none of my kids passing the art of supper on to their kids. Not a complaint or a suggestion for others to follow. Just an older persons recollections.

 

[mj4cy]

We try to most nights (kids 8/5/2) but some nights their activities literally require phased eating.

 

[JM4CY]

Some days I want to eat my offspring

 

[dosry5]

Some days I want to eat my offspring

 

[SCyclone]

The rush to objectification has blurred the lines of traditional family. Not to mention the obsession with cell phones. Things have replaced people.

There was a story on the news last week about a school that began forbidding cell phones int he building (gasp!), and the kids reacted quite differently than I assumed they would - they found the face-to-face interaction quite stimulating, and welcome.

Gee, who woulda thunk?

 

[BCClone]

We generally do on non game nights. I push it more than my wife. I think my family was more that style than hers. Oldest is in college now so it’s down to four.

 

[Cycsk]

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/10/work-its-whats-for-dinner/599770/

My oldest child is 38. My youngest 23. We always required supper, no matter what time. We all sat down, ate well and talked or maybe rushed thru it, but we all sat down, and talked or had or explanations of coming or past events and plans. I hate to sound old but it was kind of cool. I see none of my kids passing the art of supper on to their kids. Not a complaint or a suggestion for others to follow. Just an older persons recollections.

What explanation do your kids give for not doing it with their own kids? I doubt if they are reacting to "being forced" to do it. Rather, they are probably just too busy. I hear people say they miss it, but just don't value it enough to make it happen.

 

[Brandon]

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/10/work-its-whats-for-dinner/599770/

My oldest child is 38. My youngest 23. We always required supper, no matter what time. We all sat down, ate well and talked or maybe rushed thru it, but we all sat down, and talked or had or explanations of coming or past events and plans. I hate to sound old but it was kind of cool. I see none of my kids passing the art of supper on to their kids. Not a complaint or a suggestion for others to follow. Just an older persons recollections.

I'm about the same age as your oldest child, I make my kids sit down every night for dinner. No phones or TV.

 

[Gonzo]

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/10/work-its-whats-for-dinner/599770/

My oldest child is 38. My youngest 23. We always required supper, no matter what time. We all sat down, ate well and talked or maybe rushed thru it, but we all sat down, and talked or had or explanations of coming or past events and plans. I hate to sound old but it was kind of cool. I see none of my kids passing the art of supper on to their kids. Not a complaint or a suggestion for others to follow. Just an older persons recollections.

Oldest is now at ISU, youngest is a HS freshman. We always sat down for fam dinner up until the oldest got into sophomore/junior year of HS. If the kids are heavily involved in sports/church groups/show choir/other things, the reality is that you're not always all going to be home at the same time for a sit down dinner. We'd do it when possible, but most nights during the week we weren't all home at dinner time. I don't know if today's kids have more going on after school and into the evenings M-F than previous generations. But sitting down every night for dinner hasn't been realistic for my fam for the past few years.

 

[Gunnerclone]

My family never did this growing up. Between my dad owning his own business and mom sometimes working at night at the hospital or being on call on the weekends and two kids in every sport/activity possible it was usually Casey’s pizza or Hy-Chi and either get it before practice or you’re waiting until after practice.

although in the winter my grandpa would always take us out to the Tavern on Friday nights. Other than that we were take out free for all set ups for dinner. I feel like religious people do the whole “sit down and have “Supper”” thing.

 

[madguy30]

If I was with my mom we'd occasionally sit down and if I were at my Dad's it was take out to warm up in the fridge.

Neither warranted any kind of effect although eating take out however well you damn please was more enjoyable.

Used to have Sunday dinner at my grandma's that was amazing food and good interaction.

These were generally good but I've also had experiences with sitting down with the 'traditional' family where one or more people were straight dysfunctional or toxic, and the sit-down dinner was just an opportunity for them to spread their issues around.

 

[ISUKyro]

We try to have a family dinner time. With our working hours going so much later than that of our parents it is a challenge. Growing up we had both parents home by 5pm each night (usually 4pm). Eating at 6 or 7pm meant we had a couple hours to get stuff done before it was time to eat.

My wife and I are lucky to be home before 5:45ish on any give night. Trying to eat before 7 means we are rushing to get some ready made meal heated up.

For us - the extra hours at work above what our parents had is the challenge. Many of our friends and kids that are so involved in extra sports and after school items that it is just tough to find the time.

 

[BillBrasky4Cy]

This was how I was raised and I really enjoy sitting down and eating as a family. Even though most nights I want to suplex both of my kids onto the kitchen table it really is one of the highlights to my day.

 

[Clonefan32]

Great idea, but with 4 kids I literally have zero idea how you'd implement that. Even having tried hard not to over-extend our kids, I think 3 out of 5 weekdays sees one or more of our kids gone through the dinner hours, and at least once a week my wife or I have an obligation during that time.

 

[cowgirl836]

View attachment 67491

Not going cavey - yet - but watching most of that video, the expressions of that woman in the background was great.

 

[wxman1]

29 here with two kids 4 and 2 and we do it every night. I did growing up but my wife did not. Ended up being one of those things that we decided was going to be a priority for us early on in our marriage. It got tough as my sister and I got older at times with activities but generally somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 there was a meal served. If you weren't there to eat it was in the fridge for you to warm up later.

 

[CycloneErik]

It's their family doing stuff their way. If they don't feel like they're losing anything, then they really aren't.

 

[isufbcurt]

1 hour? Do you have a 4 course meal or something? I never understood "family time" as eating together, it's like going out to eat on a first date, everyone is to busy eating to actually talk.

This is just another reason for me not wanting kids (I like to do things on my schedule).

 

[cowgirl836]

By the time I was 12, we rarely had dinner - or any meal - together anymore. And we were at home with both parents. Chores split everybody up and we ate as we came in. Usually involved the tv on.

With our son, the tv is never on but I'm less than perfect on phone usage for myself. It's a work in progress like my son and scattering his food EVERYWHERE.

I will say though, this sounds like another of those "gen-xers/millennials these days" type of things. I think many of us would like to have sit down meals together. I know I would. Last night I was home at 6pm and then hurriedly threw together dinner with a crying, whining toddler hanging on me so we could sit down by 6:30. He and I ate, dad didn't get his butt home until 7:20. Some nights are better than others but I don't see this getting any easier if we add children or activities for our children. And honestly, I'd like to hold off on the latter for as long as possible. I see this theme over and over in mom groups I'm in. How do you deal with the post work rush? How do you get healthy meals on the table quickly so you can enjoy dinner together as a family.

I don't think it's a lack of wanting it but if parents work full time.....it's hard. The powers that be expect butts in chairs 9 hours a day and if you are always "leaving early", you'll be resented and mommytracked.

 

[3GenClone]

We do family dinners, but we have to be an extreme example:

* I've been blessed to work a job that allows me to come in early so I can be home around 4 PM Monday-Friday and I am not asked to work weekends.

*My wife stays home with our 3 kids.

My two oldest kids (7 & 4) are in sports and this has meant having family dinner some days at around 5 PM, which is unrealistic for most families. I honestly don't know how families where both parents work AND have kids in after school sports/music/clubs can make this work on a consistent basis.