CR Gazette: Campbell stages attempt to save OSU QB from imminent assault.
by Hok Shill
Ames, IA- As fans rushed the field following a controversial win against a top-ten Big XII team considered overrated by many in an inferior conference, Coach Matt Campbell was seen ordering police to fend off hordes of crazed would-be attackers in order to protect QB Spencer Sanders.
This action was deemed necessary as Iowa State continues a two-year attempt to rehabilitate its tarnished image following a torrent of unprovoked and brutal assaults on members of the esteemed Hawkeye Marching Band.