My monthly, non-comprehensive collection of amusing/enlightening comments from CF message boards. Hopefully this provides brief distractive enjoyment amid the viral backdrop.
Some posts are edited for clarity or brevity.
@SCNCY: Can someone explain to me why people are hoarding toilet paper? I just don't get the reason for toilet paper. Maybe canned goods, but toilet paper?
@coolerifyoudid: Have you ever tried wiping with a tin can?!
From (one of the mailbags)
@SCyclone: Do you think some Iowans prefer ranch dressing to blood when in need of a transfusion?
---
@GTO: Forgot to mention, our guest (respondent) this week is none other than JC. No, not Jesus Christ -- @jcyclonee
From “This is Why Prohm Must Go”
@CTTB78: Anybody remember (Wayne Morgan’s) buyout figure?
@Cyched: Pre-TV money, so I’m guessing a ham sandwich and a pack of smokes.
From “Bracketology: Women Jump to 9 Seed”
@UNIclonefan: .. How amazing is it to upset Kim Mulkey? She embodies the Baylor way, by which I mean she's garbage.
From “NCAA Tournament Will Be Closed to Fans”
@dosry5: This all Hy-Vee’s fault.
@CyCrazy: No it’s because you touch yourself. Sinner.
dosry5 If that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
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@isufbcurt: Interesting, i didn't realize heart disease is a communicable disease.
@Gunnerclone: Some lady coughed on my grandpa and made him eat a diet filled with fried and processed foods, stop exercising and start smoking.
---
@alarson: Watching ISU sports has certainly given many fans heart issues, so he may be on to something there.
From “March Madness Canceled”
@isufbcurt: If you guys need something to do, since there is no basketball, I have 2 race cars I need help getting put together asap lol.
@SpokaneCY: I don't know anything about cars, but I AM good about drinking beer, looking at car engines and making vague man sounds.
From “What (NCAA Tournament) Teams are Getting Robbed the Worst?”
@ClonesFTW: Rutgers fans have to be miserable with this news.
@AuH2O: I’m sure both of them are.
From “Friday OT: Spring ahead”
@Angie: What are your favorite signs of spring?
@BoxsterCy: Getting to wear my spring bonnet!
From “NCAA football playoff simulations: ISU Final Four”
@nfrine: Get ready for a virtual kick in the b***s.
---
@JM4CY: If Brock gets hurt during a simulation, we are so screwed.
From “For the People Staying Home”
@wintersmd: Thought I would start a thread to see what the people that are staying home during this time of emergency or doing to pass the time. I have been able to keep busy in the garage. I finished this football display case today. What is everyone else doing?
@BCClone: Wife and I “exercise” a lot.
From “Friday OT: I Had Some Time Alone”
@CtownCyclone: Most of the time, my 5-year-old throws a fit about going to school. Yesterday afternoon, he lost it and demanded to go back to school.
From “3 grad transfers …”
@Brandon: What are the chances we could get DJ Carton?
@CyCrazy: Probably about as good as your chances for having sex with a woman ever again.
@Brandon: I gave up long ago.
From "Who is a Worker?"
@Gunnerclone: So obviously the Dems are trying make the COVID-19 stimulus bill beneficial to “workers.” But who are “workers” and who are not “workers”? I work, I am employed, I feel like a “worker,” but am I? How do I know? Am I a “worker” in terms of this stimulus bill?
@CyOps: 36,814 posts. Not a worker.
From "New NFL logo question" (re: Rams new logo)
@Acylum: That looks like a cougar with horns.
@Prone2Clone: Who doesn't like horny cougars?
From “Brock Purdy Mullet”
@BillBrasky4Cy: I would really like to make a funny comment, but I’m gonna have to mullet over.
From “Mailbag: Social Distancing Edition”
@GTO: How do you have time for mailbags? I'm like 10,000 times busier ever since I started working from home!
@BCClone: He is dedicated to his readers and their causes and concerns. I had some pretty important questions that never got answered in that other mailbag. Once I remember what they were I will berate you about them.
Some posts are edited for clarity or brevity.
- In case you missed it, here’s February
@SCNCY: Can someone explain to me why people are hoarding toilet paper? I just don't get the reason for toilet paper. Maybe canned goods, but toilet paper?
@coolerifyoudid: Have you ever tried wiping with a tin can?!
From (one of the mailbags)
@SCyclone: Do you think some Iowans prefer ranch dressing to blood when in need of a transfusion?
---
@GTO: Forgot to mention, our guest (respondent) this week is none other than JC. No, not Jesus Christ -- @jcyclonee
From “This is Why Prohm Must Go”
@CTTB78: Anybody remember (Wayne Morgan’s) buyout figure?
@Cyched: Pre-TV money, so I’m guessing a ham sandwich and a pack of smokes.
From “Bracketology: Women Jump to 9 Seed”
@UNIclonefan: .. How amazing is it to upset Kim Mulkey? She embodies the Baylor way, by which I mean she's garbage.
From “NCAA Tournament Will Be Closed to Fans”
@dosry5: This all Hy-Vee’s fault.
@CyCrazy: No it’s because you touch yourself. Sinner.
dosry5 If that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
---
@isufbcurt: Interesting, i didn't realize heart disease is a communicable disease.
@Gunnerclone: Some lady coughed on my grandpa and made him eat a diet filled with fried and processed foods, stop exercising and start smoking.
---
@alarson: Watching ISU sports has certainly given many fans heart issues, so he may be on to something there.
From “March Madness Canceled”
@isufbcurt: If you guys need something to do, since there is no basketball, I have 2 race cars I need help getting put together asap lol.
@SpokaneCY: I don't know anything about cars, but I AM good about drinking beer, looking at car engines and making vague man sounds.
From “What (NCAA Tournament) Teams are Getting Robbed the Worst?”
@ClonesFTW: Rutgers fans have to be miserable with this news.
@AuH2O: I’m sure both of them are.
From “Friday OT: Spring ahead”
@Angie: What are your favorite signs of spring?
@BoxsterCy: Getting to wear my spring bonnet!
From “NCAA football playoff simulations: ISU Final Four”
@nfrine: Get ready for a virtual kick in the b***s.
---
@JM4CY: If Brock gets hurt during a simulation, we are so screwed.
From “For the People Staying Home”
@wintersmd: Thought I would start a thread to see what the people that are staying home during this time of emergency or doing to pass the time. I have been able to keep busy in the garage. I finished this football display case today. What is everyone else doing?
@BCClone: Wife and I “exercise” a lot.
From “Friday OT: I Had Some Time Alone”
@CtownCyclone: Most of the time, my 5-year-old throws a fit about going to school. Yesterday afternoon, he lost it and demanded to go back to school.
From “3 grad transfers …”
@Brandon: What are the chances we could get DJ Carton?
@CyCrazy: Probably about as good as your chances for having sex with a woman ever again.
@Brandon: I gave up long ago.
From "Who is a Worker?"
@Gunnerclone: So obviously the Dems are trying make the COVID-19 stimulus bill beneficial to “workers.” But who are “workers” and who are not “workers”? I work, I am employed, I feel like a “worker,” but am I? How do I know? Am I a “worker” in terms of this stimulus bill?
@CyOps: 36,814 posts. Not a worker.
From "New NFL logo question" (re: Rams new logo)
@Acylum: That looks like a cougar with horns.
@Prone2Clone: Who doesn't like horny cougars?
From “Brock Purdy Mullet”
@BillBrasky4Cy: I would really like to make a funny comment, but I’m gonna have to mullet over.
From “Mailbag: Social Distancing Edition”
@GTO: How do you have time for mailbags? I'm like 10,000 times busier ever since I started working from home!
@BCClone: He is dedicated to his readers and their causes and concerns. I had some pretty important questions that never got answered in that other mailbag. Once I remember what they were I will berate you about them.
