relationship advice

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by mtowncyclone13, Feb 21, 2014.

  1. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    16,590
    1,126
    113
    grundy center
    Ratings:
    +3,798 / 245 / -0
    Need advice from the married men here.

    My wife's best friend here (only because we don't know many people) is going to Nashville to visit her friend. My wife lives Nashville so she is going to go with. The friend is a horrible influence on my wife, drinks all the time, gets in fights with her husband, and in general is not the type of person we would ever have our children be around. Because they fight she is always talking about how being faithful is stupid, how women should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want, and similar comments. The kicker is she had an abortion with another man's baby that her husband doesn't know about (my wife told me). BTW the girl in Nashville uses drugs.

    I can't tell her not to go but If I say anything about her friend she will say I don't trust her.

    Ideas?
     
  2. M3MEPLEASE

    M3MEPLEASE Well-Known Member

    Sep 4, 2009
    1,031
    83
    48
    Ratings:
    +161 / 20 / -0
    Wow, what a wonderful woman. I would question why your wife is even friends with this woman? That would concern me regardless of how much you trust your wife.
     
  3. ISUFan22

    ISUFan22 Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    33,853
    743
    113
    Male
    Healthcare IT Project Manager
    Denver, CO
    Ratings:
    +822 / 4 / -0
    Play this right and you're well on your way to a 3-way.
     
  4. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    33,235
    2,352
    113
    Ratings:
    +7,840 / 186 / -1
    do you know why your wife is friends with her?
     
  5. GrindingAway

    GrindingAway Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2006
    3,232
    151
    63
    Ratings:
    +171 / 0 / -0
    First you should leave Eastern Iowa so your wife doesn't have to befriend Hawk fans.

    The second step depends how much you trust your wife.

    If you are like me let her go she won't do anything bad.

    If not you should have an affair while she's gone just in case you need to get even.
     
  6. ISUCubswin

    ISUCubswin Well-Known Member

    Mar 3, 2011
    18,958
    719
    113
    My Playhouse
    Ratings:
    +1,555 / 85 / -0
    Sounds like you should talk to Ray Rice.
     
  7. ISUCubswin

    ISUCubswin Well-Known Member

    Mar 3, 2011
    18,958
    719
    113
    My Playhouse
    Ratings:
    +1,555 / 85 / -0
    But seriously, maybe your wife feels (and possible is) a positive influence on this woman. Maybe she needs your wife to sort herself out, and your wife feels she needs to be there for her.
     
  8. Rabbuk

    Rabbuk Well-Known Member

    Mar 1, 2011
    24,877
    1,132
    113
    Ratings:
    +3,989 / 130 / -0
    This sounds like a test. Say yes and she probably won't go. Say no and she'll be a ***** about it.
     
  9. cmjh10

    cmjh10 Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2012
    14,835
    745
    113
    Iowa Falls
    Ratings:
    +2,111 / 158 / -0
    Do you trust your wife?
     
  10. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    33,235
    2,352
    113
    Ratings:
    +7,840 / 186 / -1

    this is kinda the direction I was going with my question. Maybe your wife feels like she can help her straighten out her life? If you trust your wife (which I'm sure you do), let her go.....friends can have very different beliefs so just because this lady is a crazy man-hater, doesn't mean she'll turn your wife into one.

    But that's tough, I'm trying to think how I'd feel if I were in your situation.
     
  11. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    16,590
    1,126
    113
    grundy center
    Ratings:
    +3,798 / 245 / -0
    The friend does not want children yet the husband made her get off the pill and she put up a fight but then stopped. My wife and I already know we won't let our children hang out there. They are friends because when we moved here we didn't know anyone and they seemed friendly. Sober they are decent people. Alcohol makes her feisty and there have been times when my wife has come home at 4 AM after drinking with her. There is nothing good in mtown at 4 am.
     
  12. Cyclonesince78

    Cyclonesince78 Well-Known Member

    Mar 8, 2012
    14,396
    148
    63
    Ratings:
    +234 / 35 / -0
    This trip sounds like a bad idea. You should plan a trip during the same weekend with your wife (to a different location)
     
  13. TykeClone

    TykeClone Burgermeister!

    Oct 18, 2006
    25,257
    654
    113
    Ratings:
    +1,126 / 16 / -0
    :eek:
     
  14. ianoconnor

    ianoconnor Well-Known Member

    Nov 11, 2007
    8,860
    372
    83
    Urbandale
    Ratings:
    +743 / 19 / -0
    Any married woman that would sleep around, get knocked up, then abort the child (all while their husband didn't know), is a person I would not want my wife to spend significant time with. Coffee date? Go for it. Multi-day trip out of state? Nope.
     
  15. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    16,590
    1,126
    113
    grundy center
    Ratings:
    +3,798 / 245 / -0
    Good idea. However my wife has all summers off so she will tell me we can plan another time for our trip. I do trust my wife. If anything I have broken more trust than she ever has so there is little room for me to talk.

    3 years ago she went to Nashville with another friend and she told me how many guys bought them drinks, offered pot, etc. Everything was fine but with this other friend I know she would be the little devil in her ear. My wife I trust but when the friend brings men back to the apt where there are two single and promiscuous women is where i get worried.
     
  16. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    33,235
    2,352
    113
    Ratings:
    +7,840 / 186 / -1

    while I tend to agree, how do you phrase that? I'm trying to figure out how I would tell my husband he can't spend time with someone because I disapprove of their life choices.
     
  17. CyArob

    CyArob Well-Known Member

    Apr 22, 2011
    27,337
    1,873
    113
    Staff Writer
    MN
    Ratings:
    +5,584 / 175 / -0
    This... sounds... complicated.
     
  18. mtowncyclone13

    mtowncyclone13 Well-Known Member

    Oct 10, 2012
    16,590
    1,126
    113
    grundy center
    Ratings:
    +3,798 / 245 / -0
    Yes, I agree. But how do you say that when they are very close and her only real friend in town? I see her friend every day at work functions so it's not as simple as ignoring them.
     
  19. cowgirl836

    cowgirl836 Well-Known Member

    Sep 3, 2009
    33,235
    2,352
    113
    Ratings:
    +7,840 / 186 / -1

    ok, that's where I would get worried. I would not trust that this friend is bringing back nice guys to an apartment.
     
  20. Cyclonesince78

    Cyclonesince78 Well-Known Member

    Mar 8, 2012
    14,396
    148
    63
    Ratings:
    +234 / 35 / -0
    If you don't want her to go, you are going to have to be honest with her. That being said you can also make it worth her while, so if there is somewhere she would rather go, that might be a good time to take a trip somewhere else. Sounds like she is going on this trip though, whether you like it or not.
     

Share This Page