Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by 00clone, Jul 20, 2013.


Joint money or separate money?

  1. Joint Money

    144 vote(s)
  2. Separate money

    38 vote(s)
  1. 00clone

    00clone Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2011
    "Before" picture model
    Iowa City area
    The in-laws thread reminded me...I have been surprised recently at the number of my co-workers who are married that keep their money separate. Not that I was surprised it existed at all, but of my close peers: with a generous definition, I'll put that population at 7...3 I know are separate, the other 4 I don't know, but would guess at least one more for sure separate (he's multiple divorced), one more possibly separate, one pick 'em, and one possibly joint. I'm the only one I know of who has shared money.

    One of them has told me about the arguments he's had with his wife over who pays for what (although, I'm becoming more convinced that arguing is their foreplay), and I can't fathom going thru an argument over whose money pays for what...

    but on the other hand, I also know of a guy who lied to his wife about how big his raise was and skimmed money off into a secret bank account via direct deposit for the stuff he wanted to buy but his wife wouldn't approve of. He played cards with buddies, and claimed he bought the stuff with his winnings which he overstated weekly.

    I think both of those are ridiculous, but what's everyone else's positions on it?
  2. KnappShack

    KnappShack Well-Known Member

    May 26, 2008
    Parts Unknown
    It doesn't matter. Cause when she leave your *** she gonna leave with half.

    Been there. True story
  3. 00clone

    00clone Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2011
    "Before" picture model
    Iowa City area
    Well, then....sorry for your loss and all...


    I guess maybe the best answer is 'whatever makes you fight the least', but I just can't get over having to have a discussion over who pays for what....obviously, my clothes, my money, but what about the kids? (You were in such a hurry to have them, you pay for them) My co worker was talking about how his wife was complaining about a shirt he was wearing having a stain on it...she said he needed new shirts, so now he figures she's going to pay for them....
  4. benjay

    benjay Well-Known Member

    Mar 23, 2006
    Personally I think it's a little crazy to do separate, unless you both make about the same wage. Otherwise it just seems selfish.
  5. CycloneRulzzz

    CycloneRulzzz Well-Known Member

    Jul 13, 2008
    Nevada, IA


  6. Frak

    Frak Well-Known Member

    Apr 27, 2009
    After you're married I can't imagine doing separate but my inlaws do it. They each pay certain bills every month. IMO you have to have one person who is a little selfish with their money and probably one who just doesn't care that much about buying stuff.
  7. wxman1

    wxman1 Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2008
    Cedar Rapids
    Stupid to do seperates, it is like your roommates and are half assing your marriage. When you get married you combine your ENTIRE lives.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Al_4_State

    Al_4_State Well-Known Member

    Mar 27, 2006
    Driftless Region
    My wife and I have a joint account that a percentage of each of our paychecks go into. This is used for entertainment or household items. The majority of m paycheck stays in my account. We split bills. Se pays all utilities and I pay the mortgage and insurance. Each is responsible for their personal bills, such as car or student loans.

    i think it actually reduces disagreements about spending because if she wants to buy a car that I think is a waste of money, she can. Vice versa, I don't hear any ******** when I bring home a few $10 6 packs.

    Ill admit there's some selfishness in it too. I make about $15k more per year than she does, and I don't always approve of her spending habits. Not because they're out of control, but because I am very cheap. By each keeping a separate account, I think we avoid a lot of financial controversy, which is statistically shown to be the biggest cause of divorce.
  9. Cycl1

    Cycl1 Well-Known Member

    Mar 14, 2012
    North Liberty
    Getting married is taking two lives and forging them together. That means one bank account, form common goals and compromise. Set a budget that you both agree on, and stick to it. We allocate money each month for personal use that goes towards clothes and goof off money, that way we can still buy stupid stuff and not be able to say anything about it to the other person.
  10. brianhos

    brianhos Moderator
    Staff Member Bookie

    Jun 1, 2006
    Computer geek
    Joint, but then keep a personal separate account that she does not know about.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. ISUAlum2002

    ISUAlum2002 Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
    All this for my wife and I as well. We don't have a joint account at all, though. I just pay the common bills and she writes me a check for half of the total.

    Keeping finances separate definitely holds down the arguments over money......absolutely. She can buy what she wants, and I can buy what I want. Just like you, I'm a cheap MF' wife is too, but she still spends money on things I wouldn't want my money going toward at times.
  12. erikbj

    erikbj Well-Known Member

    Aug 31, 2006
    compliance officer
    hiawatha, ia
    Been married about 8 years and we do seperate. I make more than 2x she does, so we just set it up that she puts in $x towards our mortgage and the balance goes to her spending money.

    I take care of the bills and the rest of the mortgage plus most of our going out expenses.

    It has worked out well for us both stay fiscally responsible and if one of us wants to make a big buy and the other doesn't care about it, forces us to save for that buy.

    I think if we had just a joint account I would be ****** everytime she went shopping and she was be mad everytime i hit up a bar.
  13. iowa_wildcat

    iowa_wildcat Well-Known Member

    Jan 25, 2008
    I have been married to the same woman for almost 45 years. We have never had a quarrel about money. We combined our lack of money on day 1. She is the family bookkeeper and pays all the bills. We each have some income that is ours to spend and never sees the bank account. If either of us wants to make a large purchase that we cannot make out of our individual funds, it is a joint decision. She is a financial conservative. I am a bit more liberal with my spending habits and also more daring with investments. We have balanced ourselves out quite well over the years and are about ready to enter retirement not rich, but certainly comfortable.
  14. Cyclonepride

    Cyclonepride Thought Police
    Staff Member

    I just hand over the money and she gives it back when I need something. She is great at managing money, and guards the account like a leprechaun with OCD.
  15. enisthemenace

    enisthemenace Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2009
    Runnells, IA
    Joint savings account, separate checking accounts, split bills. Been doing it for 10 years and never once fought about money.
  16. Dopey

    Dopey Well-Known Member

    Nov 2, 2009
    When we first got married, I didn't quite know how to handle this. All I knew was that I was much more knowledgeable about money and made about twice as much. Unfortunately, my wife was under the impression that I made $600,000,000 per month. Definitely caused some rifts.

    We sat down and made a spreadsheet, starting with our pay stubs and deducting the mortgage, utility bills, property taxes, insurance, made some assumptions on gas, food, and misc stuff like paper towels, car work, etc. Came up with our savings goals and adjusted accordingly. She was flabbergasted at how much money it took just to survive and how much we should save to have a reasonable retirement (parenting fail imo).

    I take care of setting up the IRAs and savings, paying the bills, and managing our balances. I just take what we decided out of her account twice a month. She ends up getting some extra due to cash she gets from being on-call, so she ends up having enough to go buy cluttery bull **** at Kohl's every now and then, so we're both reasonably happy.

    So I guess, we have joint savings accounts and work together to fund our retirement accounts, but we have separate checking accounts to get us through the month.
  17. Cybirdy

    Cybirdy Well-Known Member

    Sep 10, 2009
    Wife perspective here. We have only joint accounts, but for the last 10 years we've only had one income (I stay at home with our four kids). Even when I was working, we acted like we had one income because we knew eventually we would. It has worked for us with just minor disagreements along the way. It stinks at holiday/birthday time because hubby essentially "buys" his own gifts since I buy them and he pays the bills, but he does get himself nice things. ;)
  18. MNclone

    MNclone Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
    Production Engineer
    Burnsville, MN
    Joint, but the wife has an account on the side that has nothing in it. She is a stay at home mom and if she happens to take in some coin, she can do what she wants with it. In about a year she will likely rejoin the workforce so we will see what happens then.
  19. Judoka

    Judoka Well-Known Member

    Jun 16, 2010
    Not married but live in sin with the girlfriend. We have a joint account that we both put a percentage of our paychecks into that covers rent, bills, etc.. but we keep separate accounts for the rest. It works really well though if we end up getting married and having kids I assume the percentage we share would jump significantly.
  20. aauummm

    aauummm Well-Known Member

    Mar 29, 2007
    Retired Civil Engineer
    If there are children involved, she'll get like 80% or more. Been there.

Share This Page