List of people who won't coach here

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by jsmith86, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. jsmith86

    jsmith86 Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2006
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    Because of the HUGE number of names that have been thrown around the past couple days as possibilities for head coach, I thought it might just be easier to make a list of all those coaches who we know would never be our head coach. Here is my list, feel free to add on to it.

    1.Bob Stoops- I heard he's afraid of the cold.
    2. Pete Carroll- He likes surfing too much.
    3. Tim Brewster-I hear he likes the cold too much.
    4. Mack Brown- He likes to go to Texans games...can't lure a man like that away from pro sports.
    5. Chuch Norris- Another man that it would be hard to drag away from the world of pro sports.
    6. My high school coach- Sorry guys, I know you really want him, he did win a DII national championship while in college, but the man is a hawkeye through and through. I suppose if you were to convince JP to change our colors to black and gold, we might have a tiny chance, about one in a million.
    7. David Beckham- wrong kind of football guys.
     
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  2. NobodyBeatsCy

    NobodyBeatsCy Well-Known Member

    Apr 17, 2008
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    Sara Jessica Parker - does not look likely
     
  3. Clones85'

    Clones85' Just Win Baby

    Jan 31, 2007
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    Mark Price - We don't have the budget to support his EXTRA curricular activies
     
  4. IcSyU

    IcSyU Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2007
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    33's avatar...I'd camp out 3 days beforehand just to get the seats in the student section closest to field level...
     
  5. illinoiscyclone

    illinoiscyclone Well-Known Member

    Jan 30, 2008
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    she DOES look like a foot though.
     
  6. ISUFan22

    ISUFan22 Well-Known Member

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    MATT DAMON!
     
  7. ketchupnmustard

    ketchupnmustard Well-Known Member

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    Bill Cowher probably won't be here either.
     
  8. jsmith86

    jsmith86 Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2006
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    But if he did come here, he'd probably bring along sarah silverman.
     
  9. ISUFan22

    ISUFan22 Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    I was actually hoping for this guy...would make for a great spwrecial tweams coach...

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. rworkman83

    rworkman83 Lost in Eastern Iowa
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    Aug 9, 2006
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    They've both already coached here, so you never know :wink:
     
  11. cycfan

    cycfan Member

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    1.) Homer Simpson-but wouldn't it be great? Woohoo! D'oh! Barney Gumbel for DC and Mo Sislak for OC!

    2.) Hugh Hefner. Probably don't need to list the positives here. Think about the recruiting!!! :yes:

    GO CYCLONES!!!
     
  12. jsmith86

    jsmith86 Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2006
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    Reportedly we offered the job to Jack Bauer, but the office of risk management didn't think that was such a good idea.
     
  13. drmwevr08

    drmwevr08 Well-Known Member

    Nov 25, 2006
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    Joe Paterno - He's not actually alive anymore, Penn St. just doesnt care, but I hear JP has that on his list of deal killers.
     
  14. jsmith86

    jsmith86 Well-Known Member

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    One guy actually brought up my name, but I think it would be best if I graduate before making that sort of jump into coaching. I mean, what happens if I hurt myself slamming the clipboard on something? There's not much of a market for a coach who can't get mad and slam a clipboard.
     
  15. Wesley

    Wesley Well-Known Member

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    Wade Phillips.
    Chuck Long.
    Roger Staubach.
    Ty Willinghham/Charley Weiss/Lou Holtz/any other Notre Dame coach
    Jack Hamm
    Fred Hoiberg.
    Papa Joe.
    KFc.
    Bull Callahan.
    Bobby Bowden.
    Lloyd Carr.
    Phillip Fuller in his orange jacket.
    Dennis Green.
     
  16. kilgore_trout

    kilgore_trout Well-Known Member

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    #16 kilgore_trout, Dec 16, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2008
    So you're saying we have a shot at Ditka? **SWEET!!!!

    .
     
  17. ISU_Alum_2000

    ISU_Alum_2000 All-Star

    Oct 21, 2006
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    Don't foget about Mahk Mohdur!!!

    Sorry... had to.
     
  18. NobodyBeatsCy

    NobodyBeatsCy Well-Known Member

    Apr 17, 2008
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    Just get Homer and his Tom Landry hat. "Bates - you're cut. Bolt, you'd better believe you're cut. McFareland - cut..."
     
  19. ISUFan22

    ISUFan22 Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Hmmm, we could hire a dead guy, win the whole frickin' thing and then make a football movie with a Weekend and Bernie's feel to it. I like....
     
  20. SeattleClone

    SeattleClone Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2006
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    I wrote on Ditka's facebook wall "R U going 2 coach @ ISU" and he wrote back "Da Clones!" :biggrin:




    ok, not really. JP asked me to hold off on that because he wants to talk to Ditka himself.
     

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