Ghosting

dahliaclone

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I have been in a relationship that was the opposite. Always keeping you dangling on a thread. Every time you thought you got away from her she drew you back in just to disappoint you again. I think I prefer to be ghosted.
I can see that. I would think that once a person realizes it maybe wasn’t them that has issues but they dodged a bullet with someone that treats them this way they can move on. But easier said than done maybe.
 

madguy30

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Got quasi-ghosted to end a (dumb) relationship years ago.

Basically in the end they refused to just have it out in person to end it like an adult.

Things had run their course so there wasn't any need to have them back but that lack of closure was pretty awful.

That kind of thing is sociopath level and I'd say the friend who got ghosted is at least way better off without a weirdo like that.
 
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BWRhasnoAC

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I can see that. I would think that once a person realizes it maybe wasn’t them that has issues but they dodged a bullet with someone that treats them this way they can move on. But easier said than done maybe.
What's ironic is the friend I ghosted was the one to help me realize it was emotional warfare. I finally realized she didn't deserve me. It was liberating but I still dream about her. I may never be free from her. We had a strong connection that I think scared her from letting it become fully mature. She has an ex husband who just turned off when his parents passed away and she was scarred by it.
 
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dahliaclone

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Got quasi-ghosted to end a (dumb) relationship years ago.

Basically in the end they refused to just have it out in person to end it like an adult.

Things had run their course so there wasn't any need to have them back but that lack of closure was pretty awful.

That kind of thing is sociopath level and I'd say the friend who got ghosted is at least way better off without a weirdo like that.
Closure is all my friend wanted. I don’t get not being able to just say hey it’s run its course best of luck. I think this guy loves what’s he’s doing and told my friend sadly I bet he’s doing it to others at the same time he was supposedly so into them.
 

BWRhasnoAC

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Closure is all my friend wanted. I don’t get not being able to just say hey it’s run its course best of luck. I think this guy loves what’s he’s doing and told my friend sadly I bet he’s doing it to others at the same time he was supposedly so into them.
That's actually more common than you might think. There's a term for it but it's slipping my memory.
 

HighLeakageCy

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They didn’t feel they were ghosted. They were ghosted. Hundreds (literally I saw the back and forth on my friends phone) of messages from the ghoster on a daily basis. I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Blah blah blah. Then just cuts off all comms. That’s ghosting. Not sure how my friend is narcissistic but happy to hear your thoughts.
Well you hadn’t included this detail before.
 

dahliaclone

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They included that it had been months' long.

That's a pretty important detail.
Yup and to be 100% transparent I not only looked at the ghosters messages and videos over the last ten months but I also saw my friends comms style just in case maybe they were too pushy or needy. Not saying if they were they deserved being ghosted but they were none of that. In fact my friend said they could sense communication changing sometimes and they’d offer to chat and a couple of times flat out said if you aren’t as interested anymore let’s just be adults about it and talk. Still ghosted. Cruel.

I’m not sure what I would do in their shoes. I’m telling them ignore them. But I think I would be petty for a bit ha.
 

Cy$

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Yup and to be 100% transparent I not only looked at the ghosters messages and videos over the last ten months but I also saw my friends comms style just in case maybe they were too pushy or needy. Not saying if they were they deserved being ghosted but they were none of that. In fact my friend said they could sense communication changing sometimes and they’d offer to chat and a couple of times flat out said if you aren’t as interested anymore let’s just be adults about it and talk. Still ghosted. Cruel.

I’m not sure what I would do in their shoes. I’m telling them ignore them. But I think I would be petty for a bit ha.
it's tough not to be petty. I just did that a couple days ago. Blocking is the only way to move on. It'll hurt to fully close the door, but that's the only way to start healing. Just be there as a friend for him and he'll make it through in time
 
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IASTATE07

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I was ghosted about a decade ago. This girl and I had so much chemistry. She lived in another state, but we were talking marriage and she wanted to move back to our home area. Then one week our communication dwindled and eventually she went silent. I still have no idea behind her reasoning.
 

Flynn4Heisman

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The closest I ever got to being "ghosted" was back in 2017.

I "met" this absolutely GORGEOUS woman online in March 2016, and we talked very briefly, but nothing came of it.

One year later, I "meet" her again online, and this time we really connect, start talking, I ask her out, she says yes. June 2017.

Dinner was awkward as hell for her, but afterwards we went to Gilroy's for drinks, and from there she really opened up, and was comfortable with me.

There was definitely some sexual tension there, and she even admitted to me, watching me walk up to the restaurant from her car to meet her "Damn.... He is HOT!!!".

After Gilroy's we went back to her place and just sat in the driveway for a few hours talking and sipping on beers.

For clarification, neither one of us were drunk or even buzzed. Very casual drinking while just talking and getting to know one another.

I texted her a few times over the next several days, but never heard back.

October 2017 I reach out to her again, and she accused me of ghosting her. She reminded me that she wasn't big into texting, and preferred actually talking on the phone.

That was when I realized why she felt I had ghosted her, and not the other way around.

Oh well. What could have been. Despite being absolutely completely out of my league, and yet she had said yes to me, there was a serious attraction from both sides, and you could eventually cut the sexual tension with a knife, there was just SOMETHING about her that turned me off. I didn't know then, and as much as I have thought about it since, I still have no clue what it was.

All the ingredients were there for us to last forever, we had so much in common, and the chemistry was INSANE, but there was just something about her that I could not put my finger on.

It honestly still bugs me a bit to this day.

Though now this thread reminds me of 2019, when I had five women give me their numbers in the span of a month (I didn't ask, and they were just being direct like I usually am), and NOTHING ever came of it.

Literally "Ghosted" out of the gate.
 
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Cyclonepride

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Have a friend who was so into this guy for months then they were ghosted. Friend is really struggling and I’m not well versed in this stuff having been in a relationship for 12+ years. Has anyone been ghosted? What did you do? Did you confront the ghoster? Seems like ghosters would love that they got to you and would revel in knowing they hurt you but maybe that’s just me. I told my friend to not respond if and when they come back. Not sure if that’s sound advice though.

Anyone willing to admit they ghosted someone and why?

Thoughts? Any would be appreciated. I don’t know if I am being helpful to them or not. But seeing them this way sucks and ghosting seems pretty cowardly or narcissistic.
No, I have not, and have not been ghosted either. I think it highlights a lack of intestinal fortitude and common courtesy more than intentional revenge or whatever (except in sociopaths).
 

Drew0311

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I was hanging with a girl for two month, we went to a concert at Wooleys that she wanted to go to, she took a phone call, I stayed at the bar, she bailed and I never heard from her again. Found out later she was a Coke head and she probably went to meet her dealer. I dodged a bullet. Saw her like a year later and she tried to act like nothing happened and asked if I wanted to go out sometime. ummm WTF. She was hot though. So there is that.
 
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chuckd4735

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I've never been ghosted in relationships, but have been in a few job interviews. I think most people need closure over way or the other. It's tough to tell someone it's over or they didn't get the job, but some people would rather avoid that conversation because it's not easy.
 

CyState85

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Weirdest experience of my life—-I hung out with a girl my freshman year at Iowa State from first week of classes to Spring Break. Her roommate caught me one day and had 4 or 5 pictures (actual pictures) of a guy that looked identical—-I mean 100% doppelgänger to me. Her roommate was confused because the pictures were her and this guy (her roommate presumed to be me) in Europe at different touristy spots. She then put two and two together that we hadn’t gone to Europe. Turns out, the gal had a boyfriend that went to school in North Carolina or something and she found a “stunt double” in Ames. Never spoke to her again.

Saw her once at an Iowa State tailgate 5-6 years ago—-thought about pushing the porta potty over that she went in.
 

Pope

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I've never been ghosted in relationships, but have been in a few job interviews. I think most people need closure over way or the other. It's tough to tell someone it's over or they didn't get the job, but some people would rather avoid that conversation because it's not easy.

Over the years I've had to inform a lot of finalists for job interviews that they were not selected, and I always hated having to do this. However, I felt strongly that they deserved hearing directly from us as quickly as possible, and I thought notifying by email was sort of rude.

I admit, though, that I would often hope they didn't answer my call so I could leave a message. My message was always very polite and sympathetic, but I still felt guilty.