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Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by cyclones500, Jun 14, 2019.
If you can't pay for it (every day items, wants) in cash, you don't need it that bad.
Your dad wants to turn lights on??? My dad gets pissed if there are lights on in a room we aren't using. Heaven forbid you leave a refrigerator door open for more than ten seconds...
My father isn't much for words of wisdom, but one of his favorite sayings is, "**** rolls down hill."
He does shut them off when he goes to bed. Other than that, all lights on, all the time. How are you supposed to see what you're working on if you don't have any lights on? I could have baked cookies under the lights in our garage. We had lights hanging from other lights. Our barn was about ready to fall down (and since has crumbled and been destroyed), had virtually nothing inside that was of use, but had 10,000 watts of light bulbs strung up. Not sure how it didn't burn down.
Regarding corporations/companies/people you work for, 'screw them before they screw you.'
Is your dad Clark Griswold?
He might be. He does do the Christmas lights thing, though not to Clark levels. He lives in the middle of nowhere on a farm, so he just doesn't take them down.
My dad (83) always told me "I'm the best girl he's got". Of course, I am the only girl.
He also will say when someone is leaving, "Drive fast so you aren't on the road long", and I find myself saying that sometimes.
My parents have been married almost 64 years, and he says 64 good years, a few bad days.
The one I find comes to me most often is when we get in a high traffic situation. He would look around at the other cars/drivers and ask, "Why don't some of these people just STAY HOME?!?!" If he was really into it he'd point out someone, usually a woman, "She's probably just out getting her hair done."
The morning routine was,
"Rise and shine, up and at 'em, roll out!"
He was quite cynical (gee, I wonder where I got THAT trait.)
The one thing he always said when he saw one of those ads/signs saying, "Up to 50% off!" was "The only thing they're guaranteeing is you won't get MORE than 50% off."
And his road rage came out in the form of a single hard pound on the top of the steering wheel and a loud bellowing "I'LL RAM THE FOOL!!!" Which he, of course, never did.
My dad made a similar comment when we were trying to find a space at a busy parking lot. "Why are all these people shopping on a day like this?"
Another of his parking-lot go-to's (I still frequently use this quip). "Remember, we're parked next to that blue van."
Like me joking at an ISU game. "I'm sure I can find you, you're the one wearing the red shirt."
Although my dad was big on promptness (such as "Don't keep people waiting") he could take the opposite view when there's no urgency or doesn't directly depend on my presence.
"What's the big rush? Got a hot date?"
If I was in a hurry to finish something in time to watch a sporting event on TV: "The game will start without you."
Whenever you'd say "I think that ..." his response is a guaranteed
"What you think don't amount ot a damn, it's what you know that counts"
Also, and this is unique to my dad (I think lol). Whenever he gets kinda surprised by something he is handling, and starts fumbling with it, trying not to drop it --
"Hot! Buttered! Sh**!"
with Kirk-like pauses between the words.
Every once in a while, when seeing entire house lit up when coming home. He would come in and say "(Insert electric company here) called and wanted to thank us for our support"
"I'm gonna go across the street and ask the neighbor how much his tree cost."
"I'm gonna go uptown and get some bolts"
These or some other lame excuse were usually uttered on a Saturday morning, right before he left the house in our small town and walked uptown to the bar, where he would stay all day and night and only return shortly after 2 a.m. If you stayed up that late, or you heard him walking home, you could usually follow his progress down our road and count the number of times he fell down. It was kind of a game we played.
He never said much to us kids during his life. But when he had a snoot full, he liked to sing in Japanese.
It was because of this upbringing that I vowed my children would never see me drunk. And they haven't. I think that's probably a good philosophy for any parent.
When somebody would cut my dad off in traffic, he would say, "If we would have been in the old green Ford (F-250), we would have showed him". My version is, "If we would have been in my dad's old green Ford, we would have showed him"...
I gotta say, more than any other user on this forum, your posts make me laugh. I'd say you've done your dad proud more often than not when it comes to this.
I think I forgot to include this one -- I don't say it much, but dad said it numerous times.
"It beats diggin' ditches for a living."