Distant Cousins Dating. Is this weird?

[CyJunkie]

Hi, I'm a long time reader on this site and would like some of your honest opinions.

My daughter is currently dating her 3rd cousin, and my husband and I don't know what to think about it. We've talked to some people about this, and they say that there is nothing wrong with this, but I think they are saying that to be nice. We live in a small community where I know people will eventually find out about this and make their own judgements.

What do some you think about this? Is this weird? Please give your honest opinion.

 

[pourcyne]

Well, if you believe in the story of Adam and Eve, everybody is related to everyone else.

 

[CycloneNorth]

That's pretty weird to me. 4th cousin is as close as I will generally go.

 

[theantiAIRBHG]

If you don't mind having a grand kid with an arm sticking out of their forehead you should be ok.

 

[TXCyclones]

Many royal families were comprised of marriages MUCH closer than third cousins. People will judge regardless. **** 'em. Let the kids be happy.

 

[Rabbuk]

Weird to me. But she should be allowed to do what she wants.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

Is your daughter hot?

 

[Acylum]

Hell they're hardly related at all. It's perfectly fine.

 

[jaretac]

Peoples reaction is going to primarily based on the word cousin and not on the third in front of it.

With that said, I would have a hard time with this as a parent and would never dream of dating anyone I can trace my roots too just because it would seem creepy to me (as I said most of that is a reaction to the word cousin even though I know that is why it doesn't help to know).

The other aspect to consider is genetics and how that will influence any children. My wife's grandma and grandpa were 2nd cousins. There is a degenerate eye disease that is carried by few individuals but can only be passed to kids if both parents have it. As a result 4 of their kids are legally blind. If they had married other people most likely their kids would have been fine, but since they were related they both had the gene.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

The common ancestor for 3rd cousins is four generations removed. Not likely to create mutations in offspring.

Given the fact that modern American families tend to relocate, frequently, I wouldn't be surprised if a great many of us have dated third cousins without knowing it.

Let 'em date!

 

[GoCubsGo]

It's a little weird, but would not be frowned upon by the law - I'm pretty sure they could marry in any state. We had a neighbor growing up that had to go to Alabama to get married. I don't know what the exact relationship was, but it was something like first cousin, once removed.

 

[CyJunkie]

Peoples reaction is going to primarily based on the word cousin and not on the third in front of it.

With that said, I would have a hard time with this as a parent and would never dream of dating anyone I can trace my roots too just because it would seem creepy to me (as I said most of that is a reaction to the word cousin even though I know that is why it doesn't help to know).

The other aspect to consider is genetics and how that will influence any children. My wife's grandma and grandpa were 2nd cousins. There is a degenerate eye disease that is carried by few individuals but can only be passed to kids if both parents have it. As a result 4 of their kids are legally blind. If they had married other people most likely their kids would have been fine, but since they were related they both had the gene.

Well I did talk to a geneticist and he said people do this more than you would think. He said that there wouldn't be any problems with having kids with any kind of defects.

 

[Sparkplug]

They are dating. Nothing was said about getting married. Third cousins means their grandparents were first cousins. Third cousins is getting far enough down the line that it is no big deal. I do a lot of geneology research and families are so intertwined it would be hard not to be related to most everybody in a small town/county

 

[ISUAgronomist]

I'd probably post this over on HawkeyeNation....they tend to have more experience with kissing cousins. :wink:

 

[CysRage]

Well I did talk to a geneticist and he said people do this more than you would think. He said that there wouldn't be any problems with having kids with any kind of defects.

Well there's your answer. As long as your daughter and her boyfriend have no problems with it I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Cyclonetrombone]

I grew up in a town where I was could trace my relations to easily 75% of the student population. Her 3rd cousin is what... your cousin's daughter? This happened regularly in DeWitt and then we were always having giant extended family reunions so it was funny when those couples showed up it was usually entertaining because that particular generation is blissfully unaware of genealogy. The benefit... at least you know the in laws. ha.

 

[Bobber]

Einstein was married to his cousin. I had some distant family who did the same thing. I would never go that route, but the real question is are they happy? Plenty of people get together who are not related and shouldn't. Third cousin is getting distant and more of that goes on in these small rural community's than you think.

 

[IceCyIce]

That's pretty weird to me. 4th cousin is as close as I will generally go.

Obviously you like to keep it in the family

 

[CycloneDaddy]

I don't think it is weird that they are dating ... now if they are shagging then that is weird to me.

 

[Tedcyclone]

I say it doesnt matter. Relax and ask yourself what the real issue is? Is it a future genetic issue if they are older and kids may be in future? If yes, ask a doctor. Do some online research.

If its simply a moral issue for you, then figure why that is, and work through it.

If its because you fear what other people think, get over it, other people are idiots.