***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-26-2020***

[GTO]

First and foremost, a few links:
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/

Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-22-2020.254482/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-29-2020.254609/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-05-2020.254733/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-12-2020.254868/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-02-19-2020.254989/

Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-26-2020
Sponsored by Dollar Store brand toilet paper. The #19 brand for messy #2s.


@Cy$ asks: What isnt the point?
GTO: the rounded, blunt edge of an object. Unless you meant to say what isn’t on point. Then that would be your questions.
Pants: The point isn’t to is or to isn’t, it’s to be.
GTO: is that Shakespeare?
Pants: I think it’s LFO.
GTO: the Lyte Funky Ones? Are these lyrics from one of their b-sides?
Pants: Listen to “Summer Girls” and try to tell me it’s not the greatest thing ever.
GTO: I should have clarified. B-sides as in backsides. In all seriousness, “Summer Girls” causes cancer. Look up what happened to their band members. Weird.

@Cy$ again: What happened to @55dB?
Pants: So we dated for about 10 months. When we split up, she kind of hated me so much that she didn’t want to have anything to do with anything associated with me, so she sort of left CF. We’re pretty good now, though. We’re friends on Facebook again and occasionally text each other as well. She doesn’t send me risqué pics anymore, so that’s kind of sad, but I guess understandable. Wish she’d come back though, she was a good addition to this hell site.
GTO: Did we ever find out if her name stood for 55 decibels or 55 douchebags? I agree that she was a bright spot on this site of negative posters, trolls, manly bickering about uniforms, couch coaches, and wannabe comedians. One thing we can’t afford is losing the few women we have on this site to keep us guys in line.

@BCClone asks: Regular toilet paper or these wet wipe things? It's been discussed that its not advised to flush those wet wipes (even though they say you can), that they will clog up your drain pipes over time. So what do people do with them? Throw them in their garbage? This seems to be one of the grossest things ever thought of.
Besides, I would think you would need to use regular toilet paper afterwards or you will basically give yourself the beginnings of swamp a$$
GTO: I try to do my number 2s at home most of the time (probably 95% of the time) and just take a shower afterwards, so no wet wipes used. If not at home, then just use a ton of toilet paper. I would think if you’re using wet wipes, you should go wet first then dry.
Pants: I don’t use wet wipes, but I think you’re supposed to use toilet paper first to take care of the mess and then use a wet wipe to clean up what’s left? So if you throw it in the garbage, there really shouldn’t be much left on it? But either way, this wouldn’t be a question if America would just get with the 21st century and make bidets a normal thing like they should be.
GTO: Bidets? Are those like a golf ball wash for your balls? And I also want to add that swampass is a true national medical emergency, uinlike coronavirus. We need scientists to create a male pad that men can wear inside their underwear. Or maybe some sort of male tampon.

@jcyclonee who apparently has never watched the horror movie The Ruins: So I'm looking for stuff to do on our upcoming trip to Mexico. I see that there are Mayan ruins just north of our resort. The reviews basically say that this is how you get there.
Climb over the jagged rocks at the north end of the resort's beach, walk along the sargassum-filled inlet into the secluded private development of recently built mansions, and you'll find the well-preserved ruins.Does this seem like a good thing to do with my kids?
Pants: Oh man, I’ve read the book and seen the movie! The movie wasn’t bad, but the book was a really good book. Per the usual, the movie didn’t really do it justice. Long story short, I think you’ll be fine, just don’t touch the vines.
GTO: there’s a movie about @jcyclonee’s Mexico ruins trip? Probably some sort of found footage. To answer the question, I would not be that worried about the jagged rocks. I would be more concerned about the orgasm-filled inlet. Oh, wait… sargassum??? I don’t even know what that is, but I know I wouldn’t touch it. And I’m not being sargasstic.

@Angie getting infected with the long question bug: I was just on a webinar with our gigantic, worldwide software vendor, and they were displaying a fake test account with the name "Chesty Larue." (I know it's a Simpsons reference, but still about boobs.) At my old job, an associate of mine had snuck "Michael (Mike) Hunt" into sales demos for at least four years.
What is the most inappropriate name (fictitious or real) you have ever seen used, or used yourself, in a work environment?
GTO: my brother in law worked with an older guy named Richard Siemens for years. Dude insisted on going by D*ck Siemens. I guess you just own it at some point.
Pants: Mike Litoris is so much better than Mike Hunt. More clever, more funny, and less offensive because of the whole C word thing. I hear it’s hard for most men to understand, though.

@Doc asks: How much do you guys sleep?
Pants: Not much. I have insomnia pretty bad. But it’s not staying up all night, it’s waking up all night. So I’ll go to bed around 1:30, wake up at 2:15, fall back asleep at 3:30, wake up at 5 to feed the dog and give him his insulin, go back to sleep at 6, wake up again at 7, fall asleep at 8:15 and then finally get up to start the day at 9.
GTO: most nights I would say somewhere around 5-7 hours. Weekends are a bit better with 8-9 hours. I’m a bit of a night owl and would love it if I never had to sleep. Imagine how much we could get done!
Pants: Is still probably just end up scrolling Twitter most of the time. My new phone gives me automatic updates of how I spend my screen time and it’s less than encouraging.

 

[GTO]

@Cyched asks (after getting straightened out by @VeloClone on the correct way to ask questions): 5 is an honorary even number. Change my mind?
GTO: what an odd question. ...Odd.
Pants: I honestly can’t. As someone that has to have everything at even numbers, groups of 5 are kind of my exception. While I still won’t voluntarily put something at a 5, I also won’t sit there and obsessively think about it if it is there.

@Doc asks: Who started Cicada 3301 and why?
Pants: I mean, the obvious answer is the American government, to get the brightest and smartest hired to work for them. But the real answer is aliens, to determine who is worthy of living when they attack.
GTO: Jaime Pollard for his next men’s basketball coaching search.

@Sigmapolis asks: I saw this on the Internet recently about social media --
4chan = smart people acting like idiots
Reddit = idiots acting like smart people
Facebook = idiots acting like idiots
Instagram = idiots acting like celebrities
Twitter = celebrities acting like idiots
What would Cyclone Fanatic be?
GTO: definitely a mix of Reddit (idiots acting like smart people) and 4chan (smart people acting like idiots). Pretty easy to tell them apart.
Pants: Idiots acting like coaches

@Sigmapolis again: What is your favorite overlooked album by a generally-acknowledged great band and overlooked great film by a generally-acknowledged great director?
As examples... A Quick One by the Who is a great album but never considered one of their best, and I think Interstellar is Christopher Nolan's greatest film to date, which seems to be an opinion only I have. Do you have anything like those? Thanks!
Pants: Not sure if this qualifies, but Attack and Release by the Black Keys is a fantastic album. I believe Danger Mouse produced it as well. I thought Big Eyes by Tim Burton was really good and overlooked.
GTO: For movies, I would argue Rope and Strangers on a Train are the best Hitchcock movies, but critics in general prefer his more popular films. I have no clue on albums, as it’s been ages since I purchased a full album for any artist.

@Cyched asks: If we’re down 28 at the end of a game, should we foul to avoid getting 30 pointed at home?
GTO: we should always foul if up by 5, since we know one of our players will most likely give up a 4-point play while trying to foul a 3-point shooter. Then again, with our luck the guy misses the free throw and they convert the putback for a 5 point swing. Now that I think about it, we’ll likely foul the guy who scores the putback for a chance at a 6-point swing. So the answer is to foul if up by 7. Then again, what if that guy misses the free throw and then they get another putback? God, I hate being an ISU fan sometimes...
Pants: We should just always foul at all times.

@Doc asks: I think you forgot to carry a one or something?
Pants: You damned engineers. It’s not the 1990s anymore. You don’t do math by carrying numbers anymore.
GTO: wait... We no longer carry the one? What am I supposed to do with all these numbers I’ve been carrying for years? I have a whole jar full of them at home and the bank won’t take them anymore.
Pants: Trade them in for credit at the store?

@BCClone asks: Who is the guest answerer? That may affect my questions.
Pants: We had one in mind, but this week, for whatever reason, we decided instead we wanted to listen to you guys complain about a lack of a guest speaker.
GTO: Yeah, that’s my fault. I’ve been out of the office all week and haven’t been on CF that much. Maybe we’ll have a guest next week. I have a few people in mind.

@cmjh10 way behind on his Marvel movies: How long before this site breaks out in a civil war?
Pants: Haven’t been in The Cave lately, huh?
GTO: The better question would be what would we call the secessionist website? The Prohmenade? Cyclone Rhoad? CyTwins Fanatics? Anti-vaxxers and flat earthers united?

@jcyclonee asks: I thought it already had. Is it civil war if it's every man for himself?
GTO: Good point. There aren’t two clear groups, but rather a ton of smaller factions on CF. Not sure what the largest faction is. Right now, I would say the Anti-Prohms and Anti-Trump are the largest groups? Then again, we always have the CW knob polishers as another large faction on the site.
Pants: Civil Wars is one of my favorite Guns ‘N’ Roses songs.

Longtime listener, first time caller @Jkclone15 asks: Would you guys be happy if another B12 team won the NCAA tournament? And does it depend on the team?
Pants: I don’t particularly want to ever see Kansas win it, because **** Kansas. I’m torn on Baylor. I actually like and respect Coach Drew. But on the other hand, it’s Baylor. I don’t want to see that school successful in anything it does.
GTO: It does depend on the team. Sometimes I would rather Kansas win because it would just be expected so I don’t think it would affect me at all. If a different team won, I would just be jealous and think it could have been us. And, yes, watching Baylor men and women be #1 and #2 in the country made me want to throw up.

@jcyclonee now making zero sense: Music? Can I discriminate against unseen physical forces?
GTO: Still trying to discredit gravity, I see. Well, I guess it is easier than dieting.
Pants: I don’t think I’m high enough to understand this question.

 

[Cy$]

Do i have to wait a week to ask follow up questions?

 

[GTO]

@coolerifyoudid asks: Would you rather get stuck with a co-worker that's a loud talker, a soft talker or a close talker?
Pants: Probably a loud talker. Because I can always out loud then.
GTO: depending on the co-worker, a close talker could be nice. However, since there are no guarantees of who it would be, I’ll go with soft talker - easy to tune out.

@coolerifyoudid asks: What are the best and worst surprises of your lives?
GTO: not a huge fan of surprises, as I am a planner by nature and things like that just throw me off my game. Best - finding out my wife was pregnant (twice). Worst - my brother’s passing. Waiting for - Powerball jackpot win.
Pants: Best? Probably where I’ve ended up so far. There are a lot of things I wish could have gone better or differently, but where I am today, considering I came from an incredibly poor, single parent family with no history of college education and a lot of history of alcohol or drug abuse and the like, I certainly can’t complain with where I am now. Worst surprises? Getting divorced kind of sucks. And is not cheap.

@CloneLawman being suspiciously narc-y right now: What are the most serious crimes you've ever committed? Feel free to only discuss stuff where the statute of limitations has run. PM me with the offense and the jurisdiction if you need a ruling on the applicable statute of limitations.
Pants: Probably money laundering. Or drug trafficking.
GTO: stealing or filing a false police report. Young GTO would do anything for revenge. And, no, I will not go into the details, but I can tell you I’m not proud of it. Can’t remember exact timing, but I would say about 21-23 years ago?
Pants: Young Pants got caught stealing a box of football cards from Kmart. Does that count?
GTO: Kmart is no longer a thing, so you're safe. Plus, if there were no Troy Davis, Seneca Wallace or Sage Rosenfels cards in there it does not count.

@Cyched asks: Which restaurant makes your favorite milkshake? How many boys do their milkshakes bring to the yard?
GTO: Kenny’s Burger Joint. The Attitude Changer or the Easy Rider are my two favorites shakes. I don’t know how many boys they bring to the yard, but they’re like, better than yours.
Pants: Birsdsall’s baby! The best ice cream place in the Midwest. And 3.

@BCClone asks: If you knew then what you know now, would you have dated the first person you dated on a regular basis?
Pants: Yes. Every break up I’ve had has been from my own undoing. Pretty much every girl I’ve ever dated has been lovely, I’m just a horrible human being.
GTO: Nope. She just strung me along and had me as a semi-serious plan B. Never again. Of course, once I moved on then she wanted me but once I move on, I’m done. I never go back. I don’t even keep those people as friends, they’re dead to me. Is that petty? I like to think of it as making my life simpler, easier, and drama-free.

@BCClone again: What was your go to crayon color when coloring in Kindergarten?
GTO: Any of the greens (yellow-green preferred) or blues.
Pants: Burnt Sienna.
GTO: @Pants - this one?

Pants: I won’t lie, I was going to say cornflower, but wasn’t particularly confident that’s even actually the name of that weird blue color.

@BCClone being allowed one last question after the buzzer: Did you have to find the gingerbread man in kindergarten? When they gave you a piece of it afterwards did you think it tasted terrible also?
Pants: What is this? Is this actually a thing? Is this like a small town Iowa thing or something? Is this a metaphor for a teacher behaving inappropriately toward their students?
GTO: This week in “To Catch a Predator”...

 

[GTO]

The End. Short and sweet this week. Thanks again to everyone who contributed questions and to my PIC @cyrocksmypants for barely trying.

Until next week!

 

[Angie]

Wait, can we get a question about you washing your butt in the shower?!

 

[Cy$]

Do i have to wait a week to ask follow up questions?

 

[jcyclonee]

@BCClone asks: Regular toilet paper or these wet wipe things? It's been discussed that its not advised to flush those wet wipes (even though they say you can), that they will clog up your drain pipes over time. So what do people do with them? Throw them in their garbage? This seems to be one of the grossest things ever thought of.
Besides, I would think you would need to use regular toilet paper afterwards or you will basically give yourself the beginnings of swamp a$$
GTO: I try to do my number 2s at home most of the time (probably 95% of the time) and just take a shower afterwards, so no wet wipes used. If not at home, then just use a ton of toilet paper. I would think if you’re using wet wipes, you should go wet first then dry.
Pants: I don’t use wet wipes, but I think you’re supposed to use toilet paper first to take care of the mess and then use a wet wipe to clean up what’s left? So if you throw it in the garbage, there really shouldn’t be much left on it? But either way, this wouldn’t be a question if America would just get with the 21st century and make bidets a normal thing like they should be.
GTO: Bidets? Are those like a golf ball wash for your balls? And I also want to add that swampass is a true national medical emergency, uinlike coronavirus. We need scientists to create a male pad that men can wear inside their underwear. Or maybe some sort of male tampon.

In Indonesia they traditionally use squat toilets and a bucket of water. You wipe, using the water, with your left hand. The right hand is used for greeting people and eating. Newer Indonesian toilets incorporate a device that translates as "butt hose".

 

[GTO]

Poll now added for customer feedback.

 

[GTO]

Wait, can we get a question about you washing your butt in the shower?!

On the other thread.

 

[GTO]

Do i have to wait a week to ask follow up questions?

Go for it, you rebel.

 

[Cy$]

Go for it, you rebel.

2 questions for @cyrocksmypants

1) who initiated conversation after splitting and how long after did you become friends again.
2) if shes ok with you, why not come back to CF?

 

[Ms3r4ISU]

@BCClone again: What was your go to crayon color when coloring in Kindergarten?
GTO: Any of the greens (yellow-green preferred) or blues.
Pants: Burnt Sienna.
GTO: @Pants - this one?

Pants: I won’t lie, I was going to say cornflower, but wasn’t particularly confident that’s even actually the name of that weird blue color.

When I read that question, my first impulse was periwinkle. Is that what you were thinking of? It's a soft pale blue with light purple tint. I liked it because there was nothing that color at our house when I was little. Plus, I could read that word and most of my friends and my siblings could not.

P.S. My second impulse answer was flesh, but we all know how well that would have gone over.

 

[cmjh10]

No guest? Do you 2 think we come for your answers? No, we come for the guest.

 

[cyrocksmypants]

2 questions for @cyrocksmypants

1) who initiated conversation after splitting and how long after did you become friends again.
2) if shes ok with you, why not come back to CF?

She initiated. She was the one that wanted time, and who am I to determine what I think is the appropriate amount of time. If someone tells you that, always let them be the one to decide. I think over time she just got bored with CF? Or just moved on from it? I don't know. I'd love to have her back here!

 

[cyrocksmypants]

@BCClone again: What was your go to crayon color when coloring in Kindergarten?
GTO: Any of the greens (yellow-green preferred) or blues.
Pants: Burnt Sienna.
GTO: @Pants - this one?

Pants: I won’t lie, I was going to say cornflower, but wasn’t particularly confident that’s even actually the name of that weird blue color.

When I read that question, my first impulse was periwinkle. Is that what you were thinking of? It's a soft pale blue with light purple tint. I liked it because there was nothing that color at our house when I was little. Plus, I could read that word and most of my friends and my siblings could not.

P.S. My second impulse answer was flesh, but we all know how well that would have gone over.

https://www.w3schools.com/colors/colors_crayola.asp

Cornflower. I looked it up.

 

[Cy$]

She initiated. She was the one that wanted time, and who am I to determine what I think is the appropriate amount of time. If someone tells you that, always let them be the one to decide. I think over time she just got bored with CF? Or just moved on from it? I don't know. I'd love to have her back here!

Sounds like you went no contact and it helped

 

[jcyclonee]

2 questions for @cyrocksmypants

1) who initiated conversation after splitting and how long after did you become friends again.
2) if shes ok with you, why not come back to CF?

3) is she interested in attending the Tetris championships?

 

[jcyclonee]

@BCClone again: What was your go to crayon color when coloring in Kindergarten?
GTO: Any of the greens (yellow-green preferred) or blues.
Pants: Burnt Sienna.
GTO: @Pants - this one?

Pants: I won’t lie, I was going to say cornflower, but wasn’t particularly confident that’s even actually the name of that weird blue color.

When I read that question, my first impulse was periwinkle. Is that what you were thinking of? It's a soft pale blue with light purple tint. I liked it because there was nothing that color at our house when I was little. Plus, I could read that word and most of my friends and my siblings could not.

P.S. My second impulse answer was flesh, but we all know how well that would have gone over.

Gold. I'm FAF.

 

[Cy$]

3) is she interested in attending the Tetris championships?

what a love story.

Watching a fellow comrade achieve his biggest goals while celebrating with a girl you dated. Twilight is even jealous of that ending.