Overcoming Life's Obstacles

[SCyclone]

As a child, I was pretty advanced mentally. I skipped second grade and went from frist to third. Looking back, that wasn't such a great idea, as I was always the youngest in my class (so maturation came slowly as well). Plus, I didn't grow much.....on my graduation day I was barely 5 feet tall.

Being the youngest and smallest (boy) in my class was difficult. I got teased. A lot. Nowadays you would call it bullying. One classmate hounded me constantly in the halls, he'd call me Willie the Pimp or Willie the Gook. I had zero interaction with girls, at least in a romantic sense. And in those days, you just ate it.....because there weren't methods for dealing with it, and you certainly didn't want to be a pu$$y in the bargain.

Many years later, I discovered that I had gotten extremely sensitive to criticism, to the point that I would react badly in return. I never realized what a jerk I looked like to others. My own siblings tolerated me, probably because they knew how hard it had been for me as a kid.

But I've come a long way. I still struggle at times, but I have tried hard to boost my self confidence in a way that isn't arrogant. It gets easier as I go. My wife really struggled to believe this, as she only saw me from about 25 years old on, when I had begun to wear a cloak of self-confidence that hid my shortcomings from the rest of the world.

At least I didn't learn too late.

 

[tyler24]

As a child, I was pretty advanced mentally. I skipped second grade and went from frist to third. Looking back, that wasn't such a great idea, as I was always the youngest in my class (so maturation came slowly as well). Plus, I didn't grow much.....on my graduation day I was barely 5 feet tall.

Being the youngest and smallest (boy) in my class was difficult. I got teased. A lot. Nowadays you would call it bullying. One classmate hounded me constantly in the halls, he'd call me Willie the Pimp or Willie the Gook. I had zero interaction with girls, at least in a romantic sense. And in those days, you just ate it.....because there weren't methods for dealing with it, and you certainly didn't want to be a pu$$y in the bargain.

Many years later, I discovered that I had gotten extremely sensitive to criticism, to the point that I would react badly in return. I never realized what a jerk I looked like to others. My own siblings tolerated me, probably because they knew how hard it had been for me as a kid.

But I've come a long way. I still struggle at times, but I have tried hard to boost my self confidence in a way that isn't arrogant. It gets easier as I go. My wife really struggled to believe this, as she only saw me from about 25 years old on, when I had begun to wear a cloak of self-confidence that hid my shortcomings from the rest of the world.

At least I didn't learn too late.

That's awesome you became conscious of it and worked on it! So many people just say I am the way I am and just continue with the life they had been living! Awesome job!

 

[CyState85]

When I was 19, I started having these weird allergic reactions at random times. I went through all of the allergy testing multiple times but things progressively got worse to the point where I’d go into shock and my airways would close up. There were two occasions where I lost consciousness, my vision, and spent several days in the hospital. Also had a bad one on my honeymoon, spent an entire game at Hilton in a bathroom in 2016, and had to be carried to my room at the Alamo Bowl a couple years ago. They would come on so fast and you couldn’t stop them.

Went to 2 specialists and ended up at the Mayo Clinic where they did all sorts of tests over a span of 4 months and they diagnosed me with exercised induced anaphylaxis. Something like 1 in 85,000 Americans has it. No joke, I’m allergic to exercise but only when I eat and then exercise within 4 hours. It has been a weird transition because I’m an active person. I try to exercise first thing in the morning and eat only one meal a day at night when I can. If I know I’m going to golf at 7 am or something, I’ll set an alarm to get up and eat in the middle of the night and generally don’t eat at tailgates, baseball games, etc.

 

[ISU22CY]

When I was 19, I started having these weird allergic reactions at random times. I went through all of the allergy testing multiple times but things progressively got worse to the point where I’d go into shock and my airways would close up. There were two occasions where I lost consciousness, my vision, and spent several days in the hospital. Also had a bad one on my honeymoon, spent an entire game at Hilton in a bathroom in 2016, and had to be carried to my room at the Alamo Bowl a couple years ago. They would come on so fast and you couldn’t stop them.

Went to 2 specialists and ended up at the Mayo Clinic where they did all sorts of tests over a span of 4 months and they diagnosed me with exercised induced anaphylaxis. Something like 1 in 85,000 Americans has it. No joke, I’m allergic to exercise but only when I eat and then exercise within 4 hours. It has been a weird transition because I’m an active person. I try to exercise first thing in the morning and eat only one meal a day at night when I can. If I know I’m going to golf at 7 am or something, I’ll set an alarm to get up and eat in the middle of the night and generally don’t eat at tailgates, baseball games, etc.

Wow that’s crazy and has/had to been scary when you were going through it. Bet it was somewhat of a relief to finally get an answer. Just curious have you taken it to the test since you found out?

 

[Cyclonepride]

When I was 19, I started having these weird allergic reactions at random times. I went through all of the allergy testing multiple times but things progressively got worse to the point where I’d go into shock and my airways would close up. There were two occasions where I lost consciousness, my vision, and spent several days in the hospital. Also had a bad one on my honeymoon, spent an entire game at Hilton in a bathroom in 2016, and had to be carried to my room at the Alamo Bowl a couple years ago. They would come on so fast and you couldn’t stop them.

Went to 2 specialists and ended up at the Mayo Clinic where they did all sorts of tests over a span of 4 months and they diagnosed me with exercised induced anaphylaxis. Something like 1 in 85,000 Americans has it. No joke, I’m allergic to exercise but only when I eat and then exercise within 4 hours. It has been a weird transition because I’m an active person. I try to exercise first thing in the morning and eat only one meal a day at night when I can. If I know I’m going to golf at 7 am or something, I’ll set an alarm to get up and eat in the middle of the night and generally don’t eat at tailgates, baseball games, etc.

I had never heard of that condition. It sounds like you have found a way to manage it, but I know from my experience described above that going through unknown issues, and then ordering your life around that issue is no easy task!

 

[CyState85]

Wow that’s crazy and has/had to been scary when you were going through it. Bet it was somewhat of a relief to finally get an answer. Just curious have you taken it to the test since you found out?

It was really scary and unhealthy at first because I had no control over it and could never be too far away from my house or my family. Hard candies were the only things I ate during the day through trial and error—-I bet I’ve eaten a million butterscotch discs the last few years. I have tested it a few times in a controlled way and it’s hit or miss with how severe the reactions are. You don’t really realize how you have to shape your day based around food and something as simple as mowing your lawn.

 

[diaclone]

Awesome story! Proud of the fact that you are finding you and following you! I immediately ordered the book! Thanks for the recommendation!

Thanks, and I think you'll like KWML. Let me know what you think of it.

 

[Joe4Cy]

Have you tried weighted blankets? I have those issues from time to time, and I put a folded up blanket at the foot of my bed as the pressure seems to help. But I'd really like to have a weighted blanket.

Thank you. I have tried them but they haven't helped me. My research on Reddit shows that some people do find them effective. I don't like having heavy weight on when sleeping; I prefer to be a little cold. Even in winter, my wife is buried under blankets and I have the sheet and a light blanket!

 

[mywayorcyway]

Thank you. I have tried them but they haven't helped me. My research on Reddit shows that some people do find them effective. I don't like having heavy weight on when sleeping; I prefer to be a little cold. Even in winter, my wife is buried under blankets and I have the sheet and a light blanket!

I've found that even just a pair of decent athletic socks pulled halfway up my calves helps.

 

[ArgentCy]

When I was 19, I started having these weird allergic reactions at random times. I went through all of the allergy testing multiple times but things progressively got worse to the point where I’d go into shock and my airways would close up. There were two occasions where I lost consciousness, my vision, and spent several days in the hospital. Also had a bad one on my honeymoon, spent an entire game at Hilton in a bathroom in 2016, and had to be carried to my room at the Alamo Bowl a couple years ago. They would come on so fast and you couldn’t stop them.

Went to 2 specialists and ended up at the Mayo Clinic where they did all sorts of tests over a span of 4 months and they diagnosed me with exercised induced anaphylaxis. Something like 1 in 85,000 Americans has it. No joke, I’m allergic to exercise but only when I eat and then exercise within 4 hours. It has been a weird transition because I’m an active person. I try to exercise first thing in the morning and eat only one meal a day at night when I can. If I know I’m going to golf at 7 am or something, I’ll set an alarm to get up and eat in the middle of the night and generally don’t eat at tailgates, baseball games, etc.

WTH, that sounds impossible and terrible. How is that even possible?

 

[clone4life82]

This thread is awesome. Wondering if I can ask some advice, if not feel free to move on.

My 9 year old daughter deals with bouts of anxiety (especially when she doesn't feel well or if she has a negative interaction with a friend). As someone that doesn't know what it's like to experience that, are there any strategies or anything that I can use to help her from the outside or is that something that she just needs to work through on her end with just 'general support'. She calls it 'what-iffing'.

Thanks everybody! Your candor makes this an eye opening experience!

Put some work in to find a good child’s therapist that she and you feel comfortable with (but will also push her to do some tough work) that can help her dig into the anxiety, what’s causing it, and ways to identify trouble areas for her and healthy ways to cope.

in addition to that, provide her with space where you give her 100% attention to speak her mind about what is going on with her (and empathize with it). Help her learn about her feelings and anxiety and be that (and model what it looks like to be that) healthy person she can connect with When she needs someone to connect with.

Also, maybe work on yourself too. Not pointing fingers but a lot of mental health issues are not only learned from our parents but also some of it I believe is attributed to our genetic makeup.

as someone who Has had anxiety, fear and other issues with not being emotionally competent leading to me finding unhealthy ways to medicate those emotions and feelings (which turned into addictions), I wish I would’ve had parents that gave a crap (or could give a crap) about me emotionally growing up. My story is long but I plan to put it on here at some point.

 

[Cyclonepride]

Thank you. I have tried them but they haven't helped me. My research on Reddit shows that some people do find them effective. I don't like having heavy weight on when sleeping; I prefer to be a little cold. Even in winter, my wife is buried under blankets and I have the sheet and a light blanket!

That's one thing that has held me back, as I get too hot most of the time anyway (especially since my wife is always cold and keeps the house warmer).

 

[1UNI2ISU]

Put some work in to find a good child’s therapist that she and you feel comfortable with (but will also push her to do some tough work) that can help her dig into the anxiety, what’s causing it, and ways to identify trouble areas for her and healthy ways to cope.

in addition to that, provide her with space where you give her 100% attention to speak her mind about what is going on with her (and empathize with it). Help her learn about her feelings and anxiety and be that (and model what it looks like to be that) healthy person she can connect with When she needs someone to connect with.

Also, maybe work on yourself too. Not pointing fingers but a lot of mental health issues are not only learned from our parents but also some of it I believe is attributed to our genetic makeup.

as someone who Has had anxiety, fear and other issues with not being emotionally competent leading to me finding unhealthy ways to medicate those emotions and feelings (which turned into addictions), I wish I would’ve had parents that gave a crap (or could give a crap) about me emotionally growing up. My story is long but I plan to put it on here at some point.

Thank You for your insight! This is so incredibly helpful!

 

[clone4life82]

Thank You for your insight! This is so incredibly helpful!

no problem! With the above though, do not ever look at yourself as being the problem and having to be the answer to fix the problem whatever it may be. Don’t kick yourself when you can’t be the solution. Do some digging into codependency and educate yourself on it and what healthy connection should be for you.

 

[wxman1]

Also an anxiety sufferer here. Been on medication for it for almost two years and have noticed significant improvements. Looking back I see so many issues in my life that were caused by anxiety.

 

[tyler24]

I got to say, it's awesome hearing the stories of others who have put work into their daily struggles and continue to fight. I think that is what life is all about, showing ourselves we can handle whatever life throws our way! Thank you for everyone who shares in here, I often feel like an outcast because I don't do the things that "normal" people do because of my struggles with anxiety. It's hard to not take a victim mentality to these things, but stories like this show how resilient people truly are!

 

[ArgentCy]

I got to say, it's awesome hearing the stories of others who have put work into their daily struggles and continue to fight. I think that is what life is all about, showing ourselves we can handle whatever life throws our way! Thank you for everyone who shares in here, I often feel like an outcast because I don't do the things that "normal" people do because of my struggles with anxiety. It's hard to not take a victim mentality to these things, but stories like this show how resilient people truly are!

This made me laugh a little. Have you seen some of the threads around here...many would like to see me walk a plank. Who said that normal exists or is any good?

 

[tyler24]

This made me laugh a little. Have you seen some of the threads around here...many would like to see me walk a plank. Who said that normal exists or is any good?

I understand that, I think it's moreso because in person people typically put on their best show of themselves, when in fact, there are a ton of people out there with way bigger problems than they are willing to admit.

I often think about how we ask people how they are when walking by and they say good. The amount of times people say good but are just hiding their miseries inside is probably pretty high. I hope someday people will say how they are truly feeling and others won't judge.

 

[tyler24]

Wanted to come back to this. I have been meditating and practicing mindfulness consistently for a couple months now and my panic attacks are almost nonexistent at this point. The anxiety is almost gone too! I really hope this encourages some to practice it because it truly does wondered. If you decide to try, I want to tell you what nobody told me. When your mind races and says to quit or it's boring, recognize that is just another thought and focus back on your meditation.

 

[clone4life82]

Wanted to come back to this. I have been meditating and practicing mindfulness consistently for a couple months now and my panic attacks are almost nonexistent at this point. The anxiety is almost gone too! I really hope this encourages some to practice it because it truly does wondered. If you decide to try, I want to tell you what nobody told me. When your mind races and says to quit or it's boring, recognize that is just another thought and focus back on your meditation.

if you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for meditation? I’ve always found it tough to meditate and actually quiet my mind. I know there are decent apps out there to help but I struggle to get going with those.