My Wife Didn't Waste Her Cancer

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Cycsk

Year-round tailgater
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Aug 17, 2009
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It was an honor to be mentioned on the Quarantine podcast Sunday night. I’m just now getting back to the place where I want to be posting on the site.

I have been blessed with great family and friends. A great church family and professional colleagues. Great neighbors. And I have a great online community in CycloneFanatic.com (that has had many offline manifestations too).

When I first signed up on the site, I choose the username “Cycsk” because I wanted my real identity to be hidden in plain view (and I liked having a simple, but unpronounceable username). In the spirit of Cyclone Jerry, I’m “Cyclone Steve Kemp (Cyc-sk).” Over the years, I have become more open about my identity, particularly when we do things like the Camping World Bowl tailgate fundraiser. So, now, let’s open it up wide.

Judy on AD balcony 2017 cropped.jpg

My wife Judy was fantastic and so supportive of my vocation and avocations, like Iowa State sports. We live in Ames, so we get tons of opportunities to attend. She was more of a gymnastics, swimming & diving, and volleyball fan, but also enjoyed basketball and football when the weather was good. Gymnastics was my “entry drug” for Iowa State sports. We got connected to the program during its heyday through our daughter’s participation in the Cardinal Gymnastics Club and couldn’t believe that we were able to have personal relationships with All-American caliber athletes. We came from Chicago where sports were great, but inaccessible, especially when compared to Ames. Judy never quite understood my enjoyment (addiction) of Cyclone Fanatic, yet she supported me in all the extra things related to it, as well as our large community tailgating before football games.

This photo was taken one day after her diagnosis with Stage IV lung cancer in 2017. It never seemed fair that someone who was a non-smoker and so health-conscious for all her life would be stricken. You can see by the look on her beautiful face that she was going to pursue “life over cancer,” not just be a victim of a cruel disease.

I could go on and on about how wonderful she was (as I alternate between writing something like this and being a blubbering idiot sobbing and swearing about the loss). If you want to experience some of her journey and lessons for yourself, she kept a very transparent and thoughtful journal on CaringBridge.com (www.caringbridge.org/visit/judykemp/journal). She didn’t want to “waste her cancer,” so she tried to use her three-years of experience, research, and reflection to educate and encourage readers on all sorts of health, medical, and faith matters.

If you don’t want to go down the emotional roller roaster of her CaringBridge.com journal, here is my summary of the main things for which she advocated:

· Donate to Caring Bridge. This has been such a wonderful vehicle for her to support so many others.

· Invest in health. Take seriously matters of nutrition, exercise, and rest, even if they are contrary to the Standard American Diet (which is SAD). We always have vegan options at our tailgates.

· Pursue Life Over Cancer. Her oncologist, Dr. Keith Block wrote a book by this title that has so much to offer about life and health, regardless of whether you have cancer. However, if you know anyone with cancer, refer them to the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment. We actually looked forward to our tri-weekly trips for chemo because of our wonderful community of patients and staff.

· Embrace Isaiah 40:31. Find your strength in the Lord, not in yourself or your circumstances.

My dear Judy was the best!
 

CycloneRulzzz

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Jul 13, 2008
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Nevada, IA
I want to echo Erik's words. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm one of many on here who have met you personally as I helped distribute some of your CF Alamo Bowl medals while down in San Antonio. Cancer is just the worst. My best friend informed me tonight his mother who has cancer is now in hospice care.

The thing I love most about this site is that we are like family and are always there for our fellow fanatics.
 
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Cy Hard

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2008
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Polka City
I too am sorry for your loss. My grandpa passed from liver cancer while never having a drink in his life. Cancer cares little for your proclivities and attacks when and where it can. Keep fighting the good fight and don’t let her battle die in vain. My thoughts are with you tonight, bless you and yours through this time.
 

ISUCyclones2015

Doesn't wipe standing up
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Dec 19, 2010
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Judy was an amazing person and your love is inspiring. I remember eating dinner with you and your wife plus the many tailgates I attended. You two are perfect examples of people that truly embody the Cyclone spirit.

I'm sorry for your loss
 

Cycsk

Year-round tailgater
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Aug 17, 2009
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I want to echo Erik's words. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm one of many on here who have met you personally as I helped distribute some of your CF Alamo Bowl medals while down in San Antonio. Cancer is just the worst. My best friend informed me tonight his mother who has cancer is now in hospice care.

The thing I love most about this site is that we are like family and are always there for our fellow fanatics.


The fiesta medals for the Alamo Bowl was really fun to do, but I couldn't have pulled it off without you as we were only in San Antonio for about 18 hours. I love the way someone like you in the CF community whom I had never met personally stepped up to help make it happen.
 

Cycsk

Year-round tailgater
SuperFanatic
SuperFanatic T2
Aug 17, 2009
26,946
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Judy was an amazing person and your love is inspiring. I remember eating dinner with you and your wife plus the many tailgates I attended. You two are perfect examples of people that truly embody the Cyclone spirit.

I'm sorry for your loss


Thanks 2015. I'm really glad we were able to connect offline and get to know you more personally. Remember the colonoscopy thread? And you have some stories (and photos) of your own that put you in a uniquely high position as a Cyclone fan.
 

SCyclone

Well-Known Member
Mar 11, 2014
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Fort Dodge, IA
As a cancer survivor, and now after receiving a diagnosis of a terminal lung disease, I can relate to what you're going through. People like you and Judy are examples to all of us. Faith in God is a rapidly disappearing thing in this country, but the tenets of Christianity will never die: Love your fellow man, do good in the world, do to others what you would have done to yourself.

To your Scripture citation, I'd add Joshua 1:9, which has been a particular source of comfort to me lately: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Kudos to you, Steve, for your faith and courage to share what you have gone through. Thank you for reminding us of what truly matters.
 

mj4cy

Asst. Regional Manager
Staff member
Mar 28, 2006
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Iowa
Sorry for your loss on this side of the earth but I can tell you have a deep faith and will be reunited some day. I can't imagine the roller coaster ride you've been through but she seemed like one hell of a lady! Maybe she'll help negotiate with the big man upstairs to let ISU get some more breaks in the future :)

Seriously though, thanks for this inspiring story and reminder that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. I'm hoping this pandemic also is a wake up call for personal health as you nailed it on the head - it's so important.
 

jsb

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I’m so sorry. Your wife sounds like a great person.
 

Angie

Tugboats and arson.
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I'm so very sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad that you celebrated life with such a wonderful person, and that you continue to do so fully and in her honor. Thank you for sharing her and yourself with us.
 

clone4life82

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I’m very sorry for your loss! We’ll be thinking and praying for you and your family.
 

BCClone

Well Seen Member.
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Sep 4, 2011
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Not exactly sure.
Thanks for sharing. I remember a minister stating that losing a spouse can be the hardest thing (besides a child) since you picked that person to spend your life with. She sounds like a wonderful and special lady. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of your loved ones.
 

neiowacyclone

Member
Jul 21, 2009
32
2
8
Thank you so much for sharing! Judy sounded like a truly amazing Cyclone. I lost my die hard Cyclone fan dad (he was 68) this April to stage 4 kidney cancer. What he thought was a pulled groin muscle in Feb was cancer and he was gone by mid April. I wish we would have had a bit more time to be together, one blessing was thanks to quarantine we were able to make the most of the days we had (my kids spent almost everyday with their Grandpa). It really was a wake up call for all us to really enjoy each day and take each moment as a blessing from God. I read through some of your wife's posts. She was inspirational.
Sending lots of prayers and love to you and your family.
 

CarrollCyclone

Well-Known Member
Jul 7, 2011
909
494
63
It was an honor to be mentioned on the Quarantine podcast Sunday night. I’m just now getting back to the place where I want to be posting on the site.

I have been blessed with great family and friends. A great church family and professional colleagues. Great neighbors. And I have a great online community in CycloneFanatic.com (that has had many offline manifestations too).

When I first signed up on the site, I choose the username “Cycsk” because I wanted my real identity to be hidden in plain view (and I liked having a simple, but unpronounceable username). In the spirit of Cyclone Jerry, I’m “Cyclone Steve Kemp (Cyc-sk).” Over the years, I have become more open about my identity, particularly when we do things like the Camping World Bowl tailgate fundraiser. So, now, let’s open it up wide.

View attachment 73416

My wife Judy was fantastic and so supportive of my vocation and avocations, like Iowa State sports. We live in Ames, so we get tons of opportunities to attend. She was more of a gymnastics, swimming & diving, and volleyball fan, but also enjoyed basketball and football when the weather was good. Gymnastics was my “entry drug” for Iowa State sports. We got connected to the program during its heyday through our daughter’s participation in the Cardinal Gymnastics Club and couldn’t believe that we were able to have personal relationships with All-American caliber athletes. We came from Chicago where sports were great, but inaccessible, especially when compared to Ames. Judy never quite understood my enjoyment (addiction) of Cyclone Fanatic, yet she supported me in all the extra things related to it, as well as our large community tailgating before football games.

This photo was taken one day after her diagnosis with Stage IV lung cancer in 2017. It never seemed fair that someone who was a non-smoker and so health-conscious for all her life would be stricken. You can see by the look on her beautiful face that she was going to pursue “life over cancer,” not just be a victim of a cruel disease.

I could go on and on about how wonderful she was (as I alternate between writing something like this and being a blubbering idiot sobbing and swearing about the loss). If you want to experience some of her journey and lessons for yourself, she kept a very transparent and thoughtful journal on CaringBridge.com (www.caringbridge.org/visit/judykemp/journal). She didn’t want to “waste her cancer,” so she tried to use her three-years of experience, research, and reflection to educate and encourage readers on all sorts of health, medical, and faith matters.

If you don’t want to go down the emotional roller roaster of her CaringBridge.com journal, here is my summary of the main things for which she advocated:

· Donate to Caring Bridge. This has been such a wonderful vehicle for her to support so many others.

· Invest in health. Take seriously matters of nutrition, exercise, and rest, even if they are contrary to the Standard American Diet (which is SAD). We always have vegan options at our tailgates.

· Pursue Life Over Cancer. Her oncologist, Dr. Keith Block wrote a book by this title that has so much to offer about life and health, regardless of whether you have cancer. However, if you know anyone with cancer, refer them to the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment. We actually looked forward to our tri-weekly trips for chemo because of our wonderful community of patients and staff.

· Embrace Isaiah 40:31. Find your strength in the Lord, not in yourself or your circumstances.

My dear Judy was the best!

My sympathies. I am so sorry about your wife. May the Lord be with you, your family, and friends.