***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 01/22/2020***

[CoachHines3]

only 1 right answer in the poll guys

also from last night:

 

[Angie]

Another quality mailbag, you guys! I appreciate the time and nonsense involved.

@SCyclone asks: Why do some upscale men's stores sell socks on little hangers? Do guys really have little sock closets?
CoachHines3: i have never been to an upscale mens store unless you count goodwill as upscale. i fold my dress socks neatly and just throw my every day kankle socks in my drawer.
GTO: No, I remove the socks from the little hangers and then re-use those hangers for my vested stuffed mice collection. THEY have a tiny closet to keep all their pants, vests, and running shoes. @Angie can appreciate this.
Pants: I hang all of my socks. When you ball them up, they stretch out the elasticity of the band.
GTO: I’m a balla (of socks). Shot calla (at the bar). 20-inch blades on the Impala (or my Subaru Outback)...

@GTO - so, I don't think I've ever shared it here, but I'm sorta nuts about my closets. Everything is organized by color, in a rainbow format. For adults, it's work clothes by color vs casual clothes by color, and for kids it is long-sleeved by color vs short-sleeved by color. Pants are also by color. Because it's practical, like a spreadsheet for your clothes. Also, beautiful, like art.

So I'm picturing you having an amazing mouse closet with a rainbow of little puffy vests and smoking jackets and clogs. I would pay money for that experience.

@SCyclone asks: Have you ever had an erection that lasted for more than 4 hours? If so, did you call your doctor?
GTO: Why would I call my doctor? I’d be calling my wife. Not sure what I’ll do with the rest of my 3+ hours, but I like to live by the motto: “erections have consequences”.
Pants: I had an erection the duration of the last mailbag. @Angie
CoachHines3: i could go with the obvious “ i called more ladies”. ive just gotten used to walking around with it tucked up in my waistband. coach h is always ready to fire.

@cyrocksmypants - <3, obvi. But I'd like to point out that the entirety of this exchange was magic. There are multiple life lessons therein.

 

[GTO]

Another quality mailbag, you guys! I appreciate the time and nonsense involved.



@GTO - so, I don't think I've ever shared it here, but I'm sorta nuts about my closets. Everything is organized by color, in a rainbow format. For adults, it's work clothes by color vs casual clothes by color, and for kids it is long-sleeved by color vs short-sleeved by color. Pants are also by color. Because it's practical, like a spreadsheet for your clothes. Also, beautiful, like art.

So I'm picturing you having an amazing mouse closet with a rainbow of little puffy vests and smoking jackets and clogs. I would pay money for that experience.



@cyrocksmypants - <3, obvi. But I'd like to point out that the entirety of this exchange was magic. There are multiple life lessons therein.

Unfortunately, I don't have a tiny stuffed mouse closet. However, if I had to pick an animal for that type of hobby I would probably go with a chipmunk instead.

And regarding your closet, I would pay good money to see that. Sounds magical (can you reach Narnia from there?). Might need some pictures. How compliant is Janny with putting things back where they belong?

 

[GTO]

On a scale of Cy$ to Rulzzz how did Coach Hines do?

You have to ask? You've read it for yourself. What is your assesment?

 

[Cy$]

You have to ask? You've read it for yourself. What is your assesment?

Invite me back on and then ill answer it.

 

[jcyclonee]

Never seen a single Godfather movie. Or Goodfellas. Saw a small portion of Scarface, it that means anything.

How about Donnie Brasco? Although that's more of a buddy movie than a mafia movie. Almost like a dog movie. Sort of like Turner and Hooch or Lassie. Except, instead of rescuing cats from a tree Lassie ruthlessly murders people for not paying protection money.

 

[CloneLawman]

You have to ask? You've read it for yourself. What is your assesment?

 

[jcyclonee]

GTO: Because ESPN+ has got us by the CloneCones. Just wait until they get the countdown clock for the 2020 Tetris World Championships on there. But seriously. WORLD championships is a bit of a stretch. I can’t imagine more than 2 kids in Bhutan are training for that Tetris competition.

Bhutan is at the top of the world. Their life is basically Tetris training since they spend most of their time dodging things falling from the sky.

GTO: I’ll eat Little Ceasar’s from time to time, but it is dangerous because sometimes you may start eating the box underneath and not be able to tell the difference.
Pants: I remember a time when they served pizza with like, bacon instead of dough or some **** like that.

I won't eat Little Caesar's because my son and 5 of his closest friends work there and I've seen his room and car.

The current version is not a bacon crust but bacon wrapped around the crust. it was delicious until my son and 5 of his best friends started working there.

Pants: More of a Bing guy, myself.
CoachHines3: have you see the movie “Her”? thats what google and myself are.
GTO: No, Google Incognito Mode is my friend. Regular Google is more of an acquaintance that keeps all my passwords and websites so that I don’t have to enter them all the time.
GTO: BING?!?! You can’t be serious. Using Bing is like… it’s like… I can’t even…
Pants: Sometimes I just want to watch the world burn.

Just admit it. Pants has a man-crush on Chandler.

GTO: JuicyCloneNutz? Are they sweet or salty?
CoachHines3: ask ur wife HA.

Clonie nomination for Coach Hines. I don't care if it's sophomoric.

Pants: Well, I don’t eat meat, so I would kill them just to make sure they didn’t kill me first. But Hines is our guest this week, and I’m assuming he would kill and eat us before he even knew we were in a stranded situation.

GTO spent part of his childhood on an island. He's practically seafood.

 

[GTO]

Have an opening for a guest next week. Should we bring in a new guest, fly solo, or bring in a previous guest (I know a couple of them wanting another crack at this)?

 

[jcyclonee]

Have an opening for a guest next week. Should we bring in a new guest, fly solo, or bring in a previous guest (I know a couple of them wanting another crack at this)?

Close the mailbag Saturday afternoon so that we can get Saturday Night Doc to answer questions. Also, hire a babysitter for Rum Brooklyn.

 

[Dr.bannedman]

@Cyched questioning the judgement of the IIC: @GTO Why are you telling @Peter to hook up with his elderly boss? Can we trust your advice in future mailbags?
CoachHines3: like i said on the board, sleep your way to the top. GTO knows what hes talking about, trust the process of GTO.
GTO: Do not dare question the wisdom of the Insider Information Crew! I stand by my advice. I know it may not be an ideal situation, but I did say he should quit the job (and the boss). The boning is always optional.
Pants: Cougars need love too, bro.
GTO: Coach knows what I’m talking about. As the old saying goes, “You have to bone for the job you want, not the one you have.”

@coolerifyoudid asks: You will be awarded Superman's powers for one day, but you don't find out which day until a minute before midnight. How do you spend the day?
GTO: Have you ever watched the movie Brightburn?
Pants: Like, meaning I only have a minute left of the power? Probably just rub one out.
GTO: Dude, you may end up ripping it off, not knowing your own strength.
Pants: With great power comes great responsibility.
CoachHines3: id spend the day like every day.. chasin’ tail.

@SCyclone trying to sow some discord: Many are called, few are chosen. Pants, or GTO? Which would you choose, and why?
Pants: I’m assuming this is like a final elimination kind of thing? Probably GTO. He’s got a wife and kids, and is just genuinely a good dude. I’m a piece of **** *******. Only thing I’ve got going for me is my ridiculously good looks.
CoachHines3: im rolling with pants. not because he is a piece of **** ******* but because GTO hasnt put me in his signature line so f that guy!
GTO: Hey! I’m standing right here!
CoachHines3: i am a loud whisperer.
Pants: If it helps, I think he had @Cy$ on there before he had me.
GTO: was trying to reply to your answer, but just saw an email pop-up from someone named “Jherrimiah” and got completely sidetracked.
CoachHines3: so what was Jherrimiah selling?
GTO: probably the extra letters in his name.

@CoachHines3 asks (I think): if u were in charge of the rules for college basketball and could implement one new rule what would you implement
GTO: moving hoops (like at Dave and Buster’s) during free throws. Tell me that wouldn’t be awesome.
Pants: Mandatory short shorts.
CoachHines3: i would implement a rule that would allow one of our guys to punch the ugliest guy on the other team in the face. chances are this is the guy who hits every 3 pointer he throws up against us too

@GTO asks: One for our guest coach: of the players you have coached, which one has received your most attention?
Pants: Y’all remember Bobby Lee?
GTO: Trying to impress the ladies with his Daewoo?
CoachHines3: i checked out his imdb to see what ol bobby lee is doing now. has 4 things coming out soon so mark your calendar.
CoachHines3: oh boy. the kid whose (hot) mom shows coach h the most attention will get the most attention from coach h.
GTO: I figured Coach’s answer would have been Yamanashi. Not for anything good, but still get most of his attention.
CoachHines3: oh, i know that is what the people wanted to hear.

@cyclones500 asks: If there's still time to submit ...
Should there be only one week between conference championship games and the Super Bowl, or two as is commonly the case? Why (and such)?
CoachHines3: dont mind the two weeks. gives teams to get a bit more healthy and be at their best. Put it on saturday. maybe i should be like @Peter and sleep with my boss to get monday off. now thats an idea.
GTO: I would rather not have two weeks. Let the hot team ride the hot streak.
Pants: I’m fine with two weeks. It helps give an advantage to the better coached and prepared team. But the Pro Bowl should go back to Hawaii.

@Cy$ wrapping it up for this week: what's your thoughts on nick graham
Pants: Is this a knock off of Insta Graham?
GTO: stuff two nick grahams with a nate stanley and some chocolate and you can make a decent ‘smore.
CoachHines3: nick smoked too many grahams of weed

no

 

[CloneLawman]

Close the mailbag Saturday afternoon so that we can get Saturday Night Doc to answer questions. Also, hire a babysitter for Rum Brooklyn.

True Rum Brooklyn would be worth the price of admission.

 

[Angie]

Unfortunately, I don't have a tiny stuffed mouse closet. However, if I had to pick an animal for that type of hobby I would probably go with a chipmunk instead.

And regarding your closet, I would pay good money to see that. Sounds magical (can you reach Narnia from there?). Might need some pictures. How compliant is Janny with putting things back where they belong?

I haven't ever tried to crawl to the back; will report back. I can see if I can get some good photos - it's only amusing to me. And the few people who have seen it have done a slow-motion "are you ******* kidding me?" look.

Janny is a work in progress. I have taken on putting away his clothing to force his compliance. He's so-so at it when left to his own devices, I suspect maybe color blindness.

 

[Doc]

True Rum Brooklyn would be worth the price of admission.

If @cowgirl836 wants to get ****** up and do this, I could do my part. Will surely be better than that ted flint guy.

 

[VeloClone]

I haven't ever tried to crawl to the back; will report back. I can see if I can get some good photos - it's only amusing to me. And the few people who have seen it have done a slow-motion "are you ******* kidding me?" look.

Janny is a work in progress. I have taken on putting away his clothing to force his compliance. He's so-so at it when left to his own devices, I suspect maybe color blindness.

This system would never work for me. They would find my desiccated body months later in the closet after I froze up trying to figure out where the checked blue and red flannel should go.

 

[VeloClone]

I would like to see @bannedman/internetman give it a go followed by @jcyclonee.

 

[Angie]

This system would never work for me. They would find my desiccated body months later in the closet after I froze up trying to figure out where the checked blue and red flannel should go.

Right? You have to go with the dominant color in those cases. I was organizing new clothes for my son this morning, and he had a few button-ups in a buffalo print where I had to consider it.

 

[SCyclone]

OK, that moving basket thing on free throws was awesome. Plus it would eliminate the need for all the students to be waving **** and making jackasses out of themselves.

 

[cowgirl836]

If @cowgirl836 wants to get ****** up and do this, I could do my part. Will surely be better than that ted flint guy.

Saturday night is my night to stay up, no babysitter needed