Kinda same story for me. Boss was doinking my co-worker and her husband worked about 10 feet away and happened to be 1 of my friends for a few years. But at the end of the day he was a bad boss and created an atmosphere of distrust and apathy neither of which I will tolerate. I won't opine on the morality.
My health suffered - huge blood pressure spike, weight gain, anxiety, low-grade depression... but as I said above I don't tolerate this stuff.
Mine wasn't a bad boss, but instead was a good company that went bad and just turned generally terrible. Outsourcing was the key cog, I was the leftovers. Almost everyone else was simply let go.
My health results were similar to yours - blood pressure through the roof, anxiety, depression. It happened so slow over the course of a couple of years that I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I woke up one morning and realized I had turned into a miserable SOB, and the job was the single reason why.
I took an unscheduled week off, which is something I never do. About six minutes into that week off I had decided that I was going to quit. A few days into that week off, I felt immensely better. Quit the following Monday.
Except that didn't work out. Due to all of the changes they had made over the last couple of years, I had morphed from a cog in the machine to the only guy that knew anything. They asked me to give them 2 months instead of the normal two weeks to figure something out. I told them I would give them six weeks, I would show up to the morning meeting, I would make sure email was up to date and knock out some things, then I was going to check out for the day after a couple hours of work. I was salaried and they agreed.
During the six weeks, they continued to beg and plead. They asked for a number to keep me around and I told them I wasn't interested. I was done. They kept pushing. I told I would give them six months, and I gave them a big number. Apparently it wasn't big enough - they immediately agreed. I had screwed up. The money would be great, but I still had to ****ing work there. But I could survive six months, right?
Those six months almost killed me. If I didn't work all six months, I forfeited the bonus. I did still get my normal salary, but after about four months I was ready to crack up. I completely shut down. I didn't felt like I did a damn thing the last two months but no one said a word.
I made it the six months, and I got my money (though that was a struggle and lawyers were called but never retained). I "worked" another two weeks and realized this was stupid. I quit again. Another s***storm followed. I told them no numbers, no two months, no nothing - two weeks and I was done. They said they didn't expect me to quit after paying me the bonus. I asked them what was different from six months ago. Silence.....
I was a wreck. It's been a year and I'm almost back to normal, but it has taken a lot of mental conditioning. I had a lot of bad habits to break, my work ethic and confidence was shattered. Lots of personal retraining has happened and I feel good in the morning. I hadn't in a long time.
At crappy job, I started at 6am. I realized I was staying up until 2, 3 or 4 in the morning...because the moment I fell asleep, the very next thing to happen was that crappy job. The longer I stayed up, the further away it was. That is when I knew I was completely screwed.
