How long do you want this to be?
First:
As far as the kid goes, every one is gonna be different and you will know your own child better than anyone else that wants to parent from the cheap seats.
This is the very best piece of advice. Everyone's experience and values are different so take all the advice with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, you and your wife will be the experts on your baby.
Practical:
Lots of people spend lots of time prepping for birth/nursery/baby products but not much on the actual now we have a baby part. Always a good idea to read a few books on typical development, schedule, how many and how long to feed, wake times, milestones so you have a rough idea of how things go and what to expect. My brother (parent to a 5 month old) thinks she's getting a tooth and asked my mom so how long does teething take, like a month or so before all her teeth are in?
Key tips - newborns poop overnight and their wake window is about 90 minutes. They will likely not fall asleep on their own so don't let them stay away for 3 hours thinking they'll fall asleep when they are tired THIS DOES NOT WORK. Also anyone who tells you to keep the baby awake longer so they'll sleep more at night is wrong and get them out of your house. THIS DOES NOT WORK. You want to avoid an overtired baby as best you can.
To Have and To Hold by Dr. Molly Millwood is the best book I've read that captures so well the transformation a woman goes through in becoming a mother. It's like she was reading my thoughts. I read it nine months post-baby so not sure it'll help as much pre-baby but think it's good for the dad to read too. Gives really good insight into what may be going on with mom (obviously talk to her as well, communication is good! this just articulated things I didn't even know how to address). Definitely helped my relationship and something it pointed out that made me feel better is actually the marital stress is NOT the worst during the newborn period. Tends to actually peak around the 1 year mark. Something to keep in mind down the road if you wonder if you are failing because things seem to be getting worse, not better. Sixteen months out now and definitely in a better spot now - but was surprised how common this was.
Take as much paternity leave as you can. My husband took five weeks and this was SO key to me getting a bit more sleep and for him to learn about the baby. He'll take more next time. He was the master swaddler, not me. It is a travesty how our country operates on this topic and I encourage all dads to advocate for better policies in their workplaces. It is so, so beneficial to the whole family if dad gets more time to learn about the baby and be there to help mom. Off soapbox for now.
Sending baby to daycare was really hard. I love it now but it was hard at just over three months. It's definitely been the right choice for us because turns out I was not meant to be a SAHM and my very social baby loves his teachers and friends at school. It ain't cheap though and fellow parents are right that it's something to move on ASAP. Know that most places will still charge full rate even if you aren't doing 5 days a week for infants.
Lucie's List for registry ideas and picks. My most loved things at this point have been cloth diaper prefolds (yes, we did partial cloth diaper but those things have been CLUTCH for all the spit up, vomit, food mess, everything - bigger and more absorbent that most worthless cutesy burp rags that don't even cover your whole shoulder). We still use these every day for the constant snot faucet.
Diaper cream brush because HOW DO YOU CHANGE A 2AM DIAPER WITH DIAPER CREAM ON YOUR HANDS
Really love our sound machine, baby monitor....what else.....boppy was good, would get a boppy lounger for future kids. Stroller because I walked every day and baby hated babywearing.
Freezer meals worked really well for us - though we didn't use them much when I was on leave, surprisingly. Got the most use when I was back at work and time was even more important.
Over the next few months you may learn all about boundary setting with relatives. If you and mom don't want hospital visitors, don't do it. We didn't and it was the best choice for us. We didn't have anyone stay with us either. That was our preference. Holidays we've started to do our own traditions. As others have said, sometimes it can ruffle feathers when the "kids" are all of a sudden adults setting their own schedule but you want to start creating your own traditions. Maybe that's still spending lots of time at relatives' places or maybe that means Christmas morning just your own little family.
I wish I had gotten a doula now but can't go back in time. Definitely give it some thought. Enjoy quality time as a couple as best you can now. It's normal to not love every minute and to want to be out of the stage you are in. You can both love and hate where you are at the same time. Everything is a phase. Some are longer than others but everything is a phase. As soon as you get a handle on something, the baby will throw you something new!
I could go on for days but I'll refrain. Congratulations and best wishes to you and your wife! It's a wild ride.
