I am surprised at the amount of over-fertilization and over-application of herbicides in the various recommendations. While I live in Austin, TX, and have different constraints and issues, my recommendations are :
1) NEVER use Atrazine which is in a lot of the Weed-and-Feed products - it is outlawed in Europe and is an endocrine disruptor, and is not good for the reproductive health of any animals in contact with it (including humans) - including very limited amounts in drinking water.
2) Most grasses don't need a lot of fertilizer once the lawn is established. I fertilize at most once per year and I have a very full and beautiful lawn. I do use a mulching mower to put those nutrients back into the soil. I do also occasionally spread mulch in addition to fertilizing (but still once per year or less).
3. I do use some 24D / Weed-B-Gone occasionally to manage broad leave weeds, especially in my back yard as there is a part of it bordering a minimally maintained "natural" space which does have weeds.
4. If there is not a big weed problem, I manage it by just pulling / digging up the occasional weed rather that spreading chemicals.
The joke about the fertilizer going straight to the Gulf actually has a lot of truth in it - the Gulf does get a lot of algae bloom and has a large dead zone spurred by excess nitrogen from over fertilization washing into streams / rivers, eventually flowing into the Mississippi and onward to the Gulf.