STANZ: The day I took back the controls

[JStanz51]

I know it has been a wild last 24 hours on these forums. Figured I'd throw gas on the fire. This is the most important story I've ever told.

https://cyclonefanatic.com/2018/05/stanz-the-day-i-took-back-the-controls/

 

[twojman]

4-11-2017 for me.

I've purposely tried to be around more people since then, do more things. Generally keep me more engaged with the world, seems to have helped.

I still have issues. There are times I can stare at a simple work email for way too long worried about the responses I might get or if I wrote it out properly even though it's not really a big deal. I can get fearful of attacking projects because of this!

 

[cyfamily]

Thanks for sharing your journey. Your honesty and openness will help others, no doubt.

 

[JM4CY]

I know it has been a wild last 24 hours on these forums. Figured I'd throw gas on the fire. This is the most important story I've ever told.

https://cyclonefanatic.com/2018/05/stanz-the-day-i-took-back-the-controls/

Well said. Best of luck to continued recovery.

 

[2ndCyCE]

Great writing. I struggle as well. Conflict, particularly work related, makes me just lock up. I will avoid calling or emailing someone with bad news, or if I'm afraid questions might make me seem incompetent. Deadlines and procrastination due to anxiety are debilitating. It's something I continue to work through.

 

[clonedude]

Thanks for sharing this Jared.

I myself feel like I might have something very similar. I have a LOT of anxiety over just about everything. I worry constantly. I'm also happiest when I'm not around other people. I've always thought that I'm just an introvert, but with the anxiety too, it worries me that it might be more than that (see I worry about this too). I also feel like I probably have some level of depression too.

Do you have trouble getting a good night's sleep? I see nearly every hour on the clock every night. I feel good when I can go 2 hours without waking up. Yes, I'm basically a mess.

So does "getting help" involve taking medication, or therapy, or both, what?

 

[ItsCyence]

Great story.

I've always had a little bit of anxiety and that made me seem like a weird person to some people when I was in high school. When I went to college, I was able to move past it enough to make a solid group of friends and didn't have many problems.

Then I graduated and moved to NE Iowa and moved on to having a job. Things started off good but eventually I really started missing my friends and family. I never went out and got to know anyone outside of work. I was the only person from my company that lived in the town I was in. My job performance really suffered after the holidays and I got diagnosed with depression. Unfortunately, I was unable to recover in my job and I got let go.

Spent 6 months unemployed, depressed, and not getting job interviews. Eventually went to a recruiting service that set up an interview for me in Nebraska in the type of job I've always wanted. Got the job and things have been great.

I still deal with a few depressive episodes but a quick call to my parents or another family member seem to do the trick. I've gotten to the point that I can just power through some of these episodes until I'm feeling better. I think the most important thing I did was tell my parents I thought I was dealing with something and I was able to get some help and information on what I was dealing with.

 

[Cyfan4good]

So glad you got the help you needed to figure this out. Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I think it's awesome that you're open to sharing this as it will no doubt help your confidence even more and will very likely help someone else who needs that nudge to get the help they need as well.
You do great work here on CF and I for one appreciate the time and detail you put in to keep us fanatics informed.
Best of luck to you Stanz

 

[CloneGuy8]

Depression/anxiety are a *****. Sometimes it gets to the point where I get so frustrated I just tell myself to 'snap out of it' knowing that's impossible. Talking helps. I'm not very open about it in my personal life, which I need to get better at as I know the dire consequences of depression all too well as it claimed my fathers life.

The bright side is society seems to be more accepting and open to talking about it. Hopefully progress on the way our society views mental illness continues to make strides going forward. You're not alone, Jared. Good on you for talking about it openly.

 

[madguy30]

Good on you for sharing this, and for letting us dig a little deeper in just how great of people there are that are in charge of this site.

One thing of note: sounds like you're still in your 20's. Go do lots of fun stuff that's good for you. That can be very empowering.

Personally when I've ever felt anxious or depressed, etc. doing something that involves a process on your terms helps. Generally I'd rather go solo to a concert, camping, hike, whatever and those are the kinds of things I come back to.

 

[DurangoCy]

You're a good dude Jared, that's pretty obvious in listening to the podcasts.

...Charter, not so sure about.

 

[dexterhawk]

One of the reasons I visit this site....other than being a troll is that the staff here is top notch and I like many of the articles/content.

Jared, you have done some good with this article. I have to admit that I exhibit many of the things you describe...panicking over trivial things...being thrown into bad moods if something goes wrong. My wife has been on me for years to seek help.

Thanks Jared.

(edit: It took courage to do this...for a person working on social media this took balls. Kudos to Jared....If an anonymous a-hole gives you crap that says a lot about them and nothing about you)

 

[cycloneML]

Jared, thank you for sharing. Its time to stop keeping this secret in our society.

 

[VeloClone]

Thanks for sharing this Jared.

I myself feel like I might have something very similar. I have a LOT of anxiety over just about everything. I worry constantly. I'm also happiest when I'm not around other people. I've always thought that I'm just an introvert, but with the anxiety too, it worries me that it might be more than that (see I worry about this too). I also feel like I probably have some level of depression too.

Do you have trouble getting a good night's sleep? I see nearly every hour on the clock every night. I feel good when I can go 2 hours without waking up. Yes, I'm basically a mess.

So does "getting help" involve taking medication, or therapy, or both, what?

My son also has ADHD and we are trying to help him with medication. The first time he took his first med even though he was relatively young he told us he wanted to take it every day. Brought a tear to my eye.

He had trouble with sleep so we give him melatonin at bedtime as well and it really helps without adding any more meds to his ledger.

 

[Cycsk]

Thanks for sharing Jared. And thanks for keeping Adam Gray in line (until Charter finally ran him off). Seriously, your personality and insight is a great contribution to the CF team. Be well.

 

[19210]

Thanks for sharing this Jared.

I myself feel like I might have something very similar. I have a LOT of anxiety over just about everything. I worry constantly. I'm also happiest when I'm not around other people. I've always thought that I'm just an introvert, but with the anxiety too, it worries me that it might be more than that (see I worry about this too). I also feel like I probably have some level of depression too.

Do you have trouble getting a good night's sleep? I see nearly every hour on the clock every night. I feel good when I can go 2 hours without waking up. Yes, I'm basically a mess.

So does "getting help" involve taking medication, or therapy, or both, what?

​

Everyone is different and the game plan to help manage the symptoms will vary. With that being said, your signs are very similar to what I've gone through or still do to some extent. Night time makes it worse as it just gives me more anxiety and gives my brain more time to run wild. So one of the first things I had to do is find something to shut my mind down so i can get some sleep.

If you think you have depression, it is best to see your family doctor. It was one of the toughest things I've done, because I felt like a failure or a how others would view me. But typically anxiety and depression go hand in hand.

 

[Jeffrey Scott]

Thank you.

 

[JStanz51]

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your kind words. I can't put into words how much all of it means to me. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was going into a doctor's office for the first time about this. It is really ******* scary. With that said, the feeling of relief you have once you walk out and are on a path to finding clarity is unbelievable. Like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. The advice I would give someone is once you're in that position of talking to a trained professional about these things, don't be afraid to let all of it out. They're not going to judge you or see you as a failure. They are there to help and that is all they want to do. Anyone who needs to talk about it further or wants to ask me more about my situation for advice can PM me here or send me a DM on Twitter. I won't always reply immediately but I will get back to you and I'm always willing to help in any way I can.

 

[EnkAMania]

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your kind words. I can't put into words how much all of it means to me. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was going into a doctor's office for the first time about this. It is really ******* scary. With that said, the feeling of relief you have once you walk out and are on a path to finding clarity is unbelievable. Like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. The advice I would give someone is once you're in that position of talking to a trained professional about these things, don't be afraid to let all of it out. They're not going to judge you or see you as a failure. They are there to help and that is all they want to do. Anyone who needs to talk about it further or wants to ask me more about my situation for advice can PM me here or send me a DM on Twitter. I won't always reply immediately but I will get back to you and I'm always willing to help in any way I can.

Outpatient group was very helpful for me. Talking with people who are going through the same types of things was very helpful

 

[CTTB78]

Good for you Jared. Now go crush it.

And good for CW. That's the type of boss (and friend) we all would like to have.