Chemotherapy

[cyflier]

My wife, at only 35, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She started her first chemo treatment today in Des Moines. I know many people have been affected by this horrible disease. I want to make it as easy on her as possible during these 20 weeks of chemo as I know there can be lots of side effects. Anyone been through this yourself or with a close family member that has any advice or tips on easing her way through this.

PS Ladies, it is very important to do self examinations.

 

[Mr Janny]

Sorry to hear about this. I haven't experienced it personally, but my father went through it. It was rough on him. I would say just be there for her, in as big of a capacity as you can. Pretty simple, general advice, but it can affect people differently, so it's hard to offer specifics.

 

[CYEATHAWK]

Have to second janny...............just be there. Lost mom a couple years ago to cancer. Really isn't much more you can do but.......be there. Helpless feeling and makes you realize just how much in control of things we are not. GOD speed to you and your wife!

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

Each person handles it differently and since you know your wife the best just take care of them as best as you can.

My father had 9 years of chemotherapy twice a week every week (minus random vacations and the one remission month) It became routine for us. We would joke about it and almost knew as much as the nurses about the specific setup and things to look for.

He didn't lose hair but his feet would be very cold, swell and be very painful. So we got heated slippers and heated foot holders for when he would sit in his chair.

She will most likely have major weight swings. My father swung between 200-300 the entire time for no rhyme or reason besides reaction to the medicine.

Does she have a port in her shoulder? Be careful and watchful for bloodclots if she does.

 

[JerseyGirl]

Best wishes for your wife. Chemo does affect everyone differently. Try to prepare yourself when her hair starts to fall out. Depending on where the port is located,it might be uncomfortable to wear a seat belt. I was with my friend who had her left arm over the top of the belt, when we got pulled over in Ames for failure to wear a seat belt properly. My friend started to cry, I started to cry and so did the officer (who had just lost his mom to breast cancer). And no she didn't get a ticket. The story is more to offer you the concept that you will be experiencing so many new things over the next few months. Try to roll with it.

 

[twojman]

Oh man...I do hate to hear this. Reason # 5,784,326 that cancer absolutely sucks. Without knowing any background of what is going on with your wife being young her body should do a great job at helping to heal itself. (I'm an optimistic person when it comes to this stuff!)

A family friend went through this a couple of years ago at almost the same age. Her diagnosis was 50/50 and she is doing great right now.

As others said, be there, be flexible and don't be afraid to solicit assistance from family or friends if you really need it. Many will say what can I do to help...and they will truly want to. Make sure you take care of yourself too!

 

[isuno1fan]

My mother and sister both battled breast cancer and are both survivors. My mother had chemo and radiation. My sister had a double mastectomy and radiation.

Mother just celebrated 5 years cancer free and my sister is going on 3.5.

What type of tumor did she have? Is she HER2 positive or negative?

Wishing both of you the best.

 

[jbindm]

Oh man, my heart sank just seeing the thread title. I don't have any advice, but my best to you and your wife. Good luck, and fight hard. Cancer can suck a fat one.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

Remind her, yourself, and the people that surround you that she is a person, not a disease. The more normalcy she can have in her life, the better the treatment will go.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

Best wishes for your wife. Chemo does affect everyone differently. Try to prepare yourself when her hair starts to fall out. Depending on where the port is located,it might be uncomfortable to wear a seat belt. I was with my friend who had her left arm over the top of the belt, when we got pulled over in Ames for failure to wear a seat belt properly. My friend started to cry, I started to cry and so did the officer (who had just lost his mom to breast cancer). And no she didn't get a ticket. The story is more to offer you the concept that you will be experiencing so many new things over the next few months. Try to roll with it.

seatbelt hack...
Slip a bungee cord over the shoulder/lap strap before you insert the latch into the buckle. You can pull the bungee cord away from the buckle and it will pull the shoulder strap to where it is comfortable across her chest. The "give" on the bungee cord will not affect the function of the seat belt.

 

[IASTATE07]

My sister went through this and had a double mastectomy. Definitely a difficult time and just be there for her as much as you can.

 

[TXCyclones]

My thoughts are with both of you. My daughter (freshman at ISU) is going through her own battle with thyroid cancer, diagnosed just a couple weeks before and thyroid removed the week before moving into her dorm. This isn't nearly as scary as breast cancer, but I bring it up as I understand how helpless you feel. Offer help and listen intently, knowing that listening and empathizing is what she's looking to you for AND NOT TO SOLVE IT. As guys this is a hard task. Best of luck to your family!

 

[cyclonelifer]

I am so so so so very sorry to hear this. I have been on both ends of cancer. As a caretaker over a decade ago, to a breast cancer survivor, and last year as a survivor myself (throat cancer.)

The best advice - just be there. When my ex was going through it I wrote an article about it... don't know if it will help but here is a link to it... in my thoughts and prayers...

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the-dos-and-donts-of-cancer

 

[jdcyclone19]

I do not have any advice for you that others have not mentioned. Your wife and family will be in my thoughts and wish you all the best.

 

[cyflier]

My mother and sister both battled breast cancer and are both survivors. My mother had chemo and radiation. My sister had a double mastectomy and radiation.

Mother just celebrated 5 years cancer free and my sister is going on 3.5.

What type of tumor did she have? Is she HER2 positive or negative?

Wishing both of you the best.

She is HER2 Negative. She is starting with Chemo, then bilateral mastectomy followed by radiation.

 

[oldman]

So sorry to hear that. Attitude is a very important deal when it comes to fighting cancer -- wishing you and her a lot of positivity and determination.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Two sisters had breast cancer and my SIL just finished her 6 month battle with metastatic cancer earlier this year. All of them had different attitudes towards it, so there's truly no right or wrong way to go about it. My SIL was able to make jokes when things looked their darkest. It wasn't the attitude I expected from her, but she seemed to brighten up when I gave her a hard time. I think she needed an outlet. My sisters, however, just needed consoling and a shoulder to cry on. I would have guessed wrong on how they chose to handle their battle.

Like KC said, make sure she knows that she's your wife and not the disease. Be there to listen and make sure she knows that you are there to talk to regardless of what else is going on. Some people get it in their heads that they don't want to burden their loved ones or "bring them down". She needs to know that she's not alone, even if she's surrounded by people.

BTW, the three ladies I mentioned all kicked cancer's ass. Treatments are definitely getting better every day. It'll be a fight, but it's a battle you both can win. Good luck!

 

[Sparkplug]

November of 2015 I had a bilateral mastectomy. Chose it over lumpectomy and radiation. Friends bought me beautiful nightgowns that I very much appreciated

Like your oncologist and surgeon. If the two of you don't click ask for another

 

[Cloneon]

I've been there. The one thing I did which made a big difference was, I kept everyone I know 'informed' of what was transpiring. The toughest thing about my cancer was not what I was going through, but rather what my loved ones were going through. I created a quick web site which kept everyone informed. To this day, I continue to get praises for that.

I wish you the very best!

 

[Cyclone27inQC]

My thoughts are with both of you. My daughter (freshman at ISU) is going through her own battle with thyroid cancer, diagnosed just a couple weeks before and thyroid removed the week before moving into her dorm. This isn't nearly as scary as breast cancer, but I bring it up as I understand how helpless you feel. Offer help and listen intently, knowing that listening and empathizing is what she's looking to you for AND NOT TO SOLVE IT. As guys this is a hard task. Best of luck to your family!

I’ve been there with this cancer 31 years ago so keep supporting her and she will whip it.
Blessings