Youth Sports and some Questions

[harimad]

To me in serious on topic threads I feel like everyone comes off angry, or that's just me.

I've been beaten down by years of message boards. I don't want to mark something as useful or informative as it might be seen as sarcastic.



That is really sad to hear. I've always wanted to volunteer, especially as we don't have kids yet, so maybe I really need to look into this more. I figured parents/young adults would love to be able to teach a sport they love and help out a team of kids.

@Gossamer is completely correct about rec coaching, by the way. I coached my daughter for one fall rec softball season. While the rest of the coaches were figuring out how to get all of their daughter's friends on their team, I took copious notes at tryouts and the talent I drafted was far and away the best in the league. I also made practices fun-- we worked on fundamentals, but I ran shorter practices (1 hour instead of 1.5 or 2 hours like the rest of the league), hit each drill hard and quickly, included all of the girls at once (rather than 1 girl 1 rep, 11 girls standing in line). It was completely unfair-- we went 11-1 and coasted through the end-of-the-season tournament.

I've got three more years plus the rest of this one to watch my daughter before she goes to college. After she graduates from HS, I'm going to start coaching a softball team and see if I can repeat that success in travel ball. I kind of want to start now, but I won't have the time-- it's already hard enough just to watch all of DD's stuff, much less coach another team on top of that.

 

[keepngoal]

yes, I get frustrated and stressed...but that's part of parenting and leading in general. The fact that most move on is why parents have to pay thousands of dollars to get someone to coach their kids. It's unfortunate, imo.

Chicken and the egg....

Parents wanting more? There is an option. I know we would not volunteer our time and talents to the level we do, instead we offer a top notch product where we find families that want something more. Some leave, and that's okay, most stay and support their kids in our product.

 

[Incyte]

lol...you're wrong. So kids who can't play at a competitive level shouldn't expect good coaches. I think you're mindset is what's wrong with youth sports.

EDIT: you're not wrong about rec leagues begging...and that's sad

Yeah it would be great if we had 100 sir alex fergusens running around with extra time to spare in each rec league. But every year the city has to send out an email begging for coaches otherwise their kids will be on a 11 player 4x4 team. Some parents volunteer knowing they are out of their league because they need bodies.

Why don't you take over her whistle and finish the season off for her? Or just suck it up and hope for a better volunteer coach next year.

 

[clonedude]

I think the OP should offer to coach if he/she has all the answers. My guess is the coach might not even want to be doing it, but is doing it because nobody else would step up.

I coached my kids when they were that age, or a bit younger, and after each game I'd have all these dads telling me how to do my job, so I always told them they could have the job if they wanted it. I was volunteering and helping out because they couldn't find anyone to do it.

I literally had dads drawing up plays for me to run in basketball, of course to get their kid the ball. No wonder they can't find anyone to volunteer anymore.

I'd say about 60% of parents, mostly dads, are terrible about this kind of stuff. Yes, it's gotten to be that high of a number IMO. Really sad.

 

[Gossamer]

you make it sound so glorious!

in all seriousness, I coach some kids who have parents that don't give a **** about what they do. They barely get to practice, haven't eaten correctly and have NEVER had someone show a vested interest in them, either at home or on the field. And I live in a fairly well-to do area.

when those kids succeed, it will bring you to tears. It's worth all the implied ******** from some of the people who have posted previously.

 

[Gossamer]

I think the OP should offer to coach if he/she has all the answers. My guess is the coach might not even want to be doing it, but is doing it because nobody else would step up.

I coached my kids when they were that age, or a bit younger, and after each game I'd have all these dads telling me how to do my job, so I always told them they could have the job if they wanted it. I was volunteering and helping out because they couldn't find anyone to do it.

I literally had dads drawing up plays for me to run in basketball, of course to get their kid the ball. No wonder they can't find anyone to volunteer anymore.

I'd say about 60% of parents, mostly dads, are terrible about this kind of stuff. Yes, it's gotten to be that high of a number IMO. Really sad.

posts like this add nothing to the conversation. Read what I've previously posted...I already coach...AND, I was asking more general questions than just those specific to my daughters team.

 

[Gossamer]

Yeah it would be great if we had 100 sir alex fergusens running around with extra time to spare in each rec league. But every year the city has to send out an email begging for coaches otherwise their kids will be on a 11 player 4x4 team. Some parents volunteer knowing they are out of their league because they need bodies.

Why don't you take over her whistle and finish the season off for her? Or just suck it up and hope for a better volunteer coach next year.

do you volunteer? do you do anything to help in any way?

 

[clonedude]

posts like this add nothing to the conversation. Read what I've previously posted...I already coach...AND, I was asking more general questions than just those specific to my daughters team.

Well, if you think your daughter is going to be the next superstar, then you probably should get her in a more competitive league or club or something? You know, the ones that cost thousands of dollars and travel all over the country.

And yes, I'm being serious. If it's that important to you, and she has that kind of potential, you probably should look into more serious competition somehow.

 

[Gossamer]

Well, if you think your daughter is going to be the next superstar, then you probably should get her in a more competitive league or club or something? You know, the ones that cost thousands of dollars and travel all over the country.

And yes, I'm being serious. If it's that important to you, and she has that kind of potential, you probably should look into more serious competition somehow.

I don't. In fact, she's not good at all. She'll never be good and she probably knows it. But, I'd still like someone who is in control of her team to expect some fundamental pieces of athletics out of her...and I don't feel it should cost thousands for any kid to get the same.

If she plays next year, I"ll most likely coach her and allow one of my other kids to have a different coach, hoping they get more than what my daughter is currently getting. If i could do it for all three, i would.

As we've discussed, it's a crapshoot what they'll get.

 

[keepngoal]

I don't. In fact, she's not good at all. She'll never be good and she probably knows it. But, I'd still like someone who is in control of her team to expect some fundamental pieces of athletics out of her...and I don't feel it should cost thousands for any kid to get the same.

If she plays next year, I"ll most likely coach her and allow one of my other kids to have a different coach, hoping they get more than what my daughter is currently getting.

As we've discussed, it's a crapshoot what they'll get.

Find private lessons out side of the rec league arena. Won't cost thousands, and she will get better, read satisfactory, instruction

 

[IASTATE07]

Well, if you think your daughter is going to be the next superstar, then you probably should get her in a more competitive league or club or something?

Where did OP say anything like that?

 

[clonedude]

Where did OP say anything like that?

I don't think they did, I was just asking. If this is a volunteer coach, you don't really have anything you can do other than to offer to coach or help coach the team. You can't have much for expectations at the volunteer level, sorry.

 

[IASTATE07]

I don't think they did, I was just asking. If this is a volunteer coach, you don't really have anything you can do other than to offer to coach or help coach the team. You can't have much for expectations at the volunteer level, sorry.

You were asking a question? Putting a question mark at the end of your statement doesn't make it a question.

 

[Farnsworth]

Wow the reading comprehension in this thread is astonishing. Join a conversation to discuss a topic only to push agendas unrelated to the original post. Twitter Era I guess.

So basically what some of you are saying is that rec leagues are only meant as babysitting services for people who don't want to be there or overbearing parents, but if you want your kid to learn about sport fundamentals and teamwork you must pay for travel teams.

At least try to read the original post. It's funny because as people berate him blindly they are including facts that answer his questions. Like parents, lack of volunteers, etc.

 

[Farnsworth]

I don't think they did, I was just asking. If this is a volunteer coach, you don't really have anything you can do other than to offer to coach or help coach the team. You can't have much for expectations at the volunteer level, sorry.

That last sentence is sad to hear. It shouldn't be that way, but I guess that's why the question was asked, how did we get there.

 

[VeloClone]

I think the OP should offer to coach if he/she has all the answers. My guess is the coach might not even want to be doing it, but is doing it because nobody else would step up.

I coached my kids when they were that age, or a bit younger, and after each game I'd have all these dads telling me how to do my job, so I always told them they could have the job if they wanted it. I was volunteering and helping out because they couldn't find anyone to do it.

I literally had dads drawing up plays for me to run in basketball, of course to get their kid the ball. No wonder they can't find anyone to volunteer anymore.

I'd say about 60% of parents, mostly dads, are terrible about this kind of stuff. Yes, it's gotten to be that high of a number IMO. Really sad.

He's already said a couple of times that he coaches 3 teams. Kudos to him for not overextending and to the point where he can't help any of the teams.

I (assistant) coached my daughter 4 years despite having never played the game and made sure I learned a lot along the way. This year I thought it right to step aside since her team is getting older and she is on a higher level team at their age bracket. I am kicking myself for not biting the bullet and throwing my hat in to coach my (younger) boys team. At under 10 years he is on the third tier (lowest) team and the coach was trying to get them to play in every available tournament in the abbreviated fall season in addition to the regular league games. This is more than the under 13 top level team the daughter is on attempts for fall. Agreeing to head coach probably wouldn't have helped since she is on the board and turned down at least two parent's offers to assist. She laughed in my face when I offered which was really off putting. A polite decline might have been a little more appropriate.

My son has a lot of issues and we were hesitant to put him in a club team but the director of coaching said to do it he would be fine. I feel like the coach has already written him off just a couple of games into the season. He plays but really gets no coaching. I don't expect her to yell at him or anyone else, but he comes off the field with great coaching opportunities right there. Nothing. He sits on the bench getting no comment then goes back in without any guidance only to make the same most obvious mistakes. We informed her about his disabilities but she doesn't seem interested in reinforcing anything for him during a game. He will only retain so much from practice - reminders in the moment would really help. We are really trying to refrain from coaching from the sidelines but it keeps getting harder. She also asked for feedback on days kids weren't available and then scheduled one of the two weekly nights of practice on the only night he has a regular conflict. Trying to not be that parent, but the experience thus far has been less than pleasant.

Sorry about the rant.

 

[jkclone]

I think this thread is interesting to read. I think it shows the shift we've seen in youth sports. It's been said already but a lot of people that think you either have to play travel ball or just have a babysitter. We need more moderate fundamental coaching at younger levels. I think the lack of that middle ground has contributed to some of the problems we are seeing. We can't have the specialization and extensive amount of time involved when kids are developing.

 

[agcy68]

I have had daughters in both rec and travel teams. Rec ball in our area is for anyone that shows up and teams are drafted to keep them equal ( lowest common denominator). However, coaches should be expected to run their teams in a manner as you desire. Unfortunately, when a portion of your team isn't in it to get better, but just to socialize with their classmates, it can quickly get corrupted. It takes some effort by the coach to keep the, all in line and moving forward.
Travel teams are for kids that want to get better and are willing to pay for it. It take s money to buy balls, pay tournament fees, etc. A bare bones operation will cost $50+ dollars per tournament. Even if you only play locally. If you want a facility to hit in in the off season, that will cost more.

He problem that we had with rec is that the competition was not making our daughters better. Basically slow pitch when we needed fastpitch. So, went Usssa and got better that way.

 

[Cybball37]

I've coached baseball nearly 16 years for my kids. My oldest eventually got on a tournament team and out of rec league, around age 13. I played D1 ball and it's nuts what some parents have their kids doing to be the next stud. I see your dilemma and think honestly the only thing to do is coach her. Keep it fun, but at her age you can and should be able to set some expectations, even for rec league. At those young ages, it should be fun. Make them want to work hard and have fun. They will remember those teams and teammates forever and your blood pressure will go down running your own show.
I stopped last year as my 9 year old was drafted by the a-hole I assistant coached with the year before. He was a "win at all cost" coach, which discouraged a lot of kids.
Have fun and good luck.

 

[cyputz]

Often time the problem you are a babysitter as a coach. Usually never support or practice with parents after. I am a fan of fundamentals - if not why coach. I always had a rule - coaching girls youth softball. You never throw like a girl - you either throw right or you throw wrong. We are here to help you throw right, so you do not get hurt. If your parents or family tell you that you throw like a girl - invite them to practice. That was fun at the next practice.