Huggins might be in trouble, DUI is good, Bees are bad

[Mr Janny]

Or a responsible parent would have an epi pen ready to deal with the allergy, but since they are getting drunk while being the sole adult the whole responsible parent thing was already gone.

But what if these were a new species of bees, never before seen by human eyes, with venom that would induce paralysis upon contact with the skin? Also they're much larger than normal bees; the size of housecats. Maybe not those really big, Maine Coon cats. Those are too big. I'm talking about an average sized cat. And as you're huddling inside your house, struggling to give your child CPR, they're slamming themselves into the windows. They're not going to hold for long. And the buzzing keeps getting louder and louder, and you can't hear yourself think. The garage is your only choice. You cradle your child in your arms, and make your way out to your garage. No sooner has the door closed behind you, when you hear the sound of breaking glass, as the cat-bees breach the windows.
You tenderly place your child in the back seat of your vehicle, relieved for this moment of respite. That peace is soon interrupted, as you look in horror at the door you just came through, the doorknob slowly rotating. The bees are learning!

Only then, faced with the prospect of hyper intelligent insect attackers, do you decide to get behind the wheel. Sure, you might have had a few glugs of whiskey, but that was only to dull the pain from removing the bullet from your shoulder that you'd acquired while foiling a bank robbery, earlier that day. Normally operating a vehicle in such a state would be strictly taboo, but certainly the authorities would understand there were extenuating circumstances, wouldn't they?

I guess that's a risk you'll just have to take.

"Buckle up, kid. Everything's gonna be just fine. Daddy's got this."

 

[WooBadger18]

But what if these were a new species of bees, never before seen by human eyes, with venom that would induce paralysis upon contact with the skin? Also they're much larger than normal bees; the size of housecats. Maybe not those really big, Maine Coon cats. Those are too big. I'm talking about an average sized cat. And as you're huddling inside your house, struggling to give your child CPR, they're slamming themselves into the windows. They're not going to hold for long. And the buzzing keeps getting louder and louder, and you can't hear yourself think. The garage is your only choice. You cradle your child in your arms, and make your way out to your garage. No sooner has the door closed behind you, when you hear the sound of breaking glass, as the cat-bees breach the windows.
You tenderly place your child in the back seat of your vehicle, relieved for this moment of respite. That peace is soon interrupted, as you look in horror at the door you just came through, the doorknob slowly rotating. The bees are learning!

Only then, faced with the prospect of hyper intelligent insect attackers, do you decide to get behind the wheel. Sure, you might have had a few glugs of whiskey, but that was only to dull the pain from removing the bullet from your shoulder that you'd acquired while foiling a bank robbery, earlier that day. Normally operating a vehicle in such a state would be strictly taboo, but certainly the authorities would understand there were extenuating circumstances, wouldn't they?

I guess that's a risk you'll just have to take.

"Buckle up, kid. Everything's gonna be just fine. Daddy's got this."

I’m assuming the bees also committed the bank robbery?

 

[Mr Janny]

I’m assuming the bees also committed the bank robbery?

That seems logical, yes.

 

[Rabbuk]

This thread seems a lot like the Jon gruden thread where people kept insisting 95% of us had sent the n word through our work emails.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

I’m assuming the bees also committed the bank robbery?

And the physician who saved their kids life? A drunk bee

 

[3TrueFans]

That's it, I'm turning on Bee Movie.

 

[dafarmer]

At one point in time someone told me that 25000 cans get picked up every home game in the grass lots alone. Those lots are 99% empty an hour after the game…go down there and tell them they are dumb as they leave the lots

How many are students who the walk home. It is not unusual to see them carrying cases to the game. Legalize alcohol at age 18, like it used to be.

 

[CycloneErik]

That's it, I'm turning on Bee Movie.

A step up from your usual B movie.

 

[Marcelason78]

All I want to know is- does Xavier still get their money?

 

[carvers4math]

I read that you can’t leave a kid under the age of 14 home alone in Illinois for an unreasonable time, whatever that is. My first babysitting job was when a mom called me up when I was 10. The baby was two months old. Of course this was the wild Wild West of Iowa, I didn’t have booze, epi pens weren’t invented, and it was winter so no bees.

 

[8bitnes]

Like all other CF threads, this one has taken a tangent. The bees were originally wasps

 

[carvers4math]

Like all other CF threads, this one has taken a tangent. The bees were originally wasps

Any member of the Hymenoptera order is a welcome tangent to where this was going

 

[Mr Janny]

Like all other CF threads, this one has taken a tangent. The bees were originally wasps

That's just what they want you to think. That's how they were able to infiltrate our society. Wolves in sheep's clothing, as it were.

 

[3TrueFans]

That's just what they want you to think. That's how they were able to infiltrate our society. Wolves in sheep's clothing, as it were.

So what if my child was attacked by a wolf but I'm like 8 rum and cokes deep on a Tuesday while her mom is in Aruba with her boyfriend? Can I drive drunk then?

 

[Mr Janny]

So what if my child was attacked by a wolf but I'm like 8 rum and cokes deep on a Tuesday while her mom is in Aruba with her boyfriend? Can I drive drunk then?

Depends on the phase of the moon, ergo increased risk of lycanthropy, and more leeway. If it's a full moon, feel free to pound those Cuba libres.

 

[alarson]

So what if my child was attacked by a wolf but I'm like 8 rum and cokes deep on a Tuesday while her mom is in Aruba with her boyfriend? Can I drive drunk then?

IDK, but maybe have the hospital do a quick DNA test for you when you get there

 

[NickTheGreat]

I haven't quite kept up with this thread. But is it acceptable, or not, to drink bees when home with your children alone? Assume I'm not allergic to bees, but am unsure about the children.

My wife is out of town later this week and I need to know.

 

[Mr Janny]

I haven't quite kept up with this thread. But is it acceptable, or not, to drink bees when home with your children alone? Assume I'm not allergic to bees, but am unsure about the children.

My wife is out of town later this week and I need to know.

"Oh boy! The old ball and chain is out of town. I'm gonna get effed up tonight!!!"

 

[RealisticCy]

And even if you’re going to say it would be acceptable in that case, it’s mostly just being pedantic. Unless you’re drafting laws or policies, I feel like there is typically an invisible asterisk around “never acceptable” to exclude unrealistic hypothetical situations.

Alcohol is legal to consume, and people are allergic to wasps...........UNREASONABLE!!!!!!!!! WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!! RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RealisticCy]

I'd just like to suggest here that those champions finding reasons to defend drunk driving start their own thread with a nice title like "The Acceptable Times to Drink and Drive." That would be the fitting place to impress yourselves with your drunken heroics.

In reality not every decision is so black and white to warrant the use of the words "never" and "always"...........