Not eating as a family. Stopping for 1 hour

[NorthCyd]

I feel like religious people do the whole “sit down and have “Supper”” thing.

My family sits down for dinner and we aren't religious. It's a little chaotic with 4 young kids but it's the only time most days we are all doing something together.

I never understood "family time" as eating together, it's like going out to eat on a first date, everyone is to busy eating to actually talk.

You honestly are so busy eating you can't find time for conversation during a meal? You must be quite a sight at meal time...

 

[heitclone]

I grew in a family that ate together until we got super busy with extracurriculars and n. Its weird people don't see the value in sitting down together and just talking but I understand how someone without kids might not understand. I think its just a sign of things changing, we know every detail about our families thanks to cell phones so there isn't as much to catch up on at the end of the day.

 

[jbindm]

We usually eat in front of the tv (I know, bad habit but whatever). But from around 5 or 5:30 until dinner is ready around six all four of us are in the kitchen getting in a good conversation. And we get plenty of family time on the weekends.

Now, as the kids get older and more involved in school and stuff then maybe we'll have to change things up and learn how to make time for each other but I feel pretty good about the amount of time we spend together talking for now.

 

[Gunnerclone]

My family sits down for dinner and we aren't religious. It's a little chaotic with 4 young kids but it's the only time most days we are all doing something together.



You honestly are so busy eating you can't find time for conversation during a meal? You must be quite a sight at meal time...

I think it’s odd that people can’t have conversations without having to sit at table together.

 

[cyfan92]

Always time for family supper in my childhood home and my adult home.

My in-laws also look at my wife and I weird when we say grace before a meal

Informal vote - Agree=saying grace/prayer before the meal; Disagree=no grace/prayer before eating

 

[SpokaneCY]

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/10/work-its-whats-for-dinner/599770/

My oldest child is 38. My youngest 23. We always required supper, no matter what time. We all sat down, ate well and talked or maybe rushed thru it, but we all sat down, and talked or had or explanations of coming or past events and plans. I hate to sound old but it was kind of cool. I see none of my kids passing the art of supper on to their kids. Not a complaint or a suggestion for others to follow. Just an older persons recollections.

I was a latch-key kid while my wife had a very structured family unit... Chores, meal times, family walks, etc... I used to make fun of her and her family because I thought I was from a cool modern family but it was all a ruse. Really wish I had that family time as a kid.

 

[SpokaneCY]

1 hour? Do you have a 4 course meal or something? I never understood "family time" as eating together, it's like going out to eat on a first date, everyone is to busy eating to actually talk.

This is just another reason for me not wanting kids (I like to do things on my schedule).

I think you'd be a "catch" for some lucky person...

 

[HitItHard58]

Wife and I are on opposite schedules most of the time and feels like we're basically two single parents to our 3. I'd love to spend 5 minutes together as a family let alone actually sit down and eat a meal together.

 

[SpokaneCY]

Always time for family supper in my childhood home and my adult home.

My in-laws also look at my wife and I weird when we say grace before a meal

Informal vote - Agree=saying grace/prayer before the meal; Disagree=no grace/prayer before eating

3rd option is to sit quietly and respectfully while the others do what they are accustomed to.

 

[NorthCyd]

I think it’s odd that people can’t have conversations without having to sit at table together.

Yes, because I said the only time we have conversations is when we are sitting at a table together.

 

[isufbcurt]

I think you'd be a "catch" for some lucky person...

I am for my wife and we are on the same wave length. Our talk time is when we take the dogs for a walk.

 

[CYdTracked]

Growing up we regularly ate supper at the dinner table and talked about our days and sometimes planned out things we had coming up. My mother was a stay at home mom so usually had a pretty good meal most nights since she had adequate time to prep and cook before dad got home from work and my brother and I usually had chores to do on the farm when we got home too.

Would like to start doing more planned and sit down meals with our kids some day, right now at ages 5 and 2 and both of us working some nights it's sometimes a bit chaotic in the evenings just getting everyone picked up and settled in at home before making supper is even a thought. Weekends help because at least if we are home we have some prep time to make a fresh meal vs something we can just quickly warm up in the microwave. I think as our kids get older and more self sufficient hopefully will free up some time and make it easier to actually sit down for meal together instead of making sure the kids start eating and we make ourselves something to sit down and eat after they get started.

 

[FOREVERTRUE]

The sitting down for dinner together isn't about the meal. It is about making time to spend all together for minimal time, to talk and relax within the chaos of the rest of the day.

 

[MeanDean]

Oldest is now at ISU, youngest is a HS freshman. We always sat down for fam dinner up until the oldest got into sophomore/junior year of HS. If the kids are heavily involved in sports/church groups/show choir/other things, the reality is that you're not always all going to be home at the same time for a sit down dinner. We'd do it when possible, but most nights during the week we weren't all home at dinner time. I don't know if today's kids have more going on after school and into the evenings M-F than previous generations. But sitting down every night for dinner hasn't been realistic for my fam for the past few years.

This. Boomer and we had very few opportunities basically because of the small school and rural upbringing and my father not around to drive us to things. So yes, we were raised with a lot of family meal times. Not that they were "Leave It To Beaver" - far from it. VEEERRRRRY far from it.

 

[Clonefan32]

I have 4 kids ages 9, 6, 3 and 2. Usually when we do try to sit down and eat together by the time my wife and I actually sit down with our plate to eat the kids are done. I swear to you between cooking, getting everything platted up and cleaning you are talking about a 2 hour process.

 

[Clonehomer]

We try, but our schedules usually don't allow it during the week. I'd like to do it, but I also don't want to tell a child that they can't do an activity because of family dinner.

As a compromise, we have started with just Sunday evening meals as a family. Everyone helps make dinner, setup the table, and clean up after.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

We had a no tv rule during our 1 hour dinner (we didn't have cell phones back then). But then as my brother and I were busy with sports or working in High School so dinner time got melded into a 3 hour phased affair.

 

[Sousaclone]

Growing up we typically ate together, but there always tended to be exceptions because of activities (especially when my Dad was the coach for my brothers and sisters teams). Doesn't feel like it was to the same extent as I see my sisters go through with their kids currently. I may just not have noticed it though.

It is interesting that even now when my younger brother and I are both home we have sit down dinners with my parents. My sisters attempt to, but having a wide age range of urchins makes it difficult.

I also think it may show up more with younger kids 10-14 range as opposed to high school kids? By high school most of the activities are immediately after school (except games) so kids are home earlier.

The couple of paragraphs at the end about eating/cooking alone definitely hit home for me (since I'm 34 and single). When I had roommates a couple of years ago, we tended to eat together (not necessarily cook together) all the time. I even ended up cooking for the 3 of us a bunch (I enjoy cooking). Since moving to Houston and being alone I eat out way more than I should. I'm not necessarily working anymore hours, but at times it feels like I have less time.

 

[Rabbuk]

I did growing up until my mom went back to work when I was about 10. I think it's a lot easier to do these sit downs when one partner doesn't work outside the home. Then it gets way more challenging. As a result I think more millennial couples have both partners working and this practice has become less common as they become the primary parenting group.

 

[ribsnwhiskey]

Growing up, my family always ate dinner, not supper.