relationship advice

[SoapyCy]

Need advice from the married men here.

My wife's best friend here (only because we don't know many people) is going to Nashville to visit her friend. My wife lives Nashville so she is going to go with. The friend is a horrible influence on my wife, drinks all the time, gets in fights with her husband, and in general is not the type of person we would ever have our children be around. Because they fight she is always talking about how being faithful is stupid, how women should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want, and similar comments. The kicker is she had an abortion with another man's baby that her husband doesn't know about (my wife told me). BTW the girl in Nashville uses drugs.

I can't tell her not to go but If I say anything about her friend she will say I don't trust her.

Ideas?

 

[M3MEPLEASE]

Wow, what a wonderful woman. I would question why your wife is even friends with this woman? That would concern me regardless of how much you trust your wife.

 

[ISUFan22]

Play this right and you're well on your way to a 3-way.

 

[cowgirl836]

do you know why your wife is friends with her?

 

[GrindingAway]

First you should leave Eastern Iowa so your wife doesn't have to befriend Hawk fans.

The second step depends how much you trust your wife.

If you are like me let her go she won't do anything bad.

If not you should have an affair while she's gone just in case you need to get even.

 

[ISUCubswin]

Sounds like you should talk to Ray Rice.

 

[ISUCubswin]

But seriously, maybe your wife feels (and possible is) a positive influence on this woman. Maybe she needs your wife to sort herself out, and your wife feels she needs to be there for her.

 

[Rabbuk]

This sounds like a test. Say yes and she probably won't go. Say no and she'll be a ***** about it.

 

[cmjh10]

Do you trust your wife?

 

[cowgirl836]

But seriously, maybe your wife feels (and possible is) a positive influence on this woman. Maybe she needs your wife to sort herself out, and your wife feels she needs to be there for her.

this is kinda the direction I was going with my question. Maybe your wife feels like she can help her straighten out her life? If you trust your wife (which I'm sure you do), let her go.....friends can have very different beliefs so just because this lady is a crazy man-hater, doesn't mean she'll turn your wife into one.

But that's tough, I'm trying to think how I'd feel if I were in your situation.

 

[SoapyCy]

The friend does not want children yet the husband made her get off the pill and she put up a fight but then stopped. My wife and I already know we won't let our children hang out there. They are friends because when we moved here we didn't know anyone and they seemed friendly. Sober they are decent people. Alcohol makes her feisty and there have been times when my wife has come home at 4 AM after drinking with her. There is nothing good in mtown at 4 am.

 

[Cyclonesince78]

This trip sounds like a bad idea. You should plan a trip during the same weekend with your wife (to a different location)

 

[TykeClone]

The friend does not want children yet the husband made her get off the pill and she put up a fight but then stopped.

 

[ianoconnor]

Any married woman that would sleep around, get knocked up, then abort the child (all while their husband didn't know), is a person I would not want my wife to spend significant time with. Coffee date? Go for it. Multi-day trip out of state? Nope.

 

[SoapyCy]

This trip sounds like a bad idea. You should plan a trip during the same weekend with your wife (to a different location)

Good idea. However my wife has all summers off so she will tell me we can plan another time for our trip. I do trust my wife. If anything I have broken more trust than she ever has so there is little room for me to talk.

3 years ago she went to Nashville with another friend and she told me how many guys bought them drinks, offered pot, etc. Everything was fine but with this other friend I know she would be the little devil in her ear. My wife I trust but when the friend brings men back to the apt where there are two single and promiscuous women is where i get worried.

 

[cowgirl836]

Any married woman that would sleep around, get knocked up, then abort the child (all while their husband didn't know), is a person I would not want my wife to spend significant time with. Coffee date? Go for it. Multi-day trip out of state? Nope.

while I tend to agree, how do you phrase that? I'm trying to figure out how I would tell my husband he can't spend time with someone because I disapprove of their life choices.

 

[CyArob]

This... sounds... complicated.

 

[SoapyCy]

Any married woman that would sleep around, get knocked up, then abort the child (all while their husband didn't know), is a person I would not want my wife to spend significant time with. Coffee date? Go for it. Multi-day trip out of state? Nope.

Yes, I agree. But how do you say that when they are very close and her only real friend in town? I see her friend every day at work functions so it's not as simple as ignoring them.

 

[cowgirl836]

Good idea. However my wife has all summers off so she will tell me we can plan another time for our trip. I do trust my wife. If anything I have broken more trust than she ever has so there is little room for me to talk.

3 years ago she went to Nashville with another friend and she told me how many guys bought them drinks, offered pot, etc. Everything was fine but with this other friend I know she would be the little devil in her ear. My wife I trust but when the friend brings men back to the apt where there are two single and promiscuous women is where i get worried.

ok, that's where I would get worried. I would not trust that this friend is bringing back nice guys to an apartment.

 

[Cyclonesince78]

Good idea. However my wife has all summers off so she will tell me we can plan another time for our trip. I do trust my wife. If anything I have broken more trust than she ever has so there is little room for me to talk.

3 years ago she went to Nashville with another friend and she told me how many guys bought them drinks, offered pot, etc. Everything was fine but with this other friend I know she would be the little devil in her ear. My wife I trust but when the friend brings men back to the apt where there are two single and promiscuous women is where i get worried.

If you don't want her to go, you are going to have to be honest with her. That being said you can also make it worth her while, so if there is somewhere she would rather go, that might be a good time to take a trip somewhere else. Sounds like she is going on this trip though, whether you like it or not.