Are Women Attracted To Jerks?

[alaskaguy]

Here's how the jerk spell works: women meet a jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. Women don't see these as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe.

Angela, a 25-year-old newlywed, had this to say on the topic: “I was at many times a serial jerk-dater, mostly because it was exciting and dramatic and I had something I thought was special. ... When I met [my husband] his niceness scared me and I worried very often that I was not attracted to him enough. I worried that it would die off. But I did not play to those worries or insecurities; I let the road take me where it wanted to take me. It was not long before I grew a deep-rooted passion for him, something that made his touch the sweetest I had ever known.â€￾

Link:
Why do some women like dating jerks? - Features

 

[cyismydog]

Wow, Alaska guy, you find all kinds of interesting news stories. you're like a serial news poster. At least it keeps me interested.

 

[brianhos]

Wow, Alaska guy, you find all kinds of interesting news stories. you're like a serial news poster. At least it keeps me interested.

But does his niceness scare you?

 

[Arkansas Cyclone]

It's the reason that I've lost interest in dating anymore. Harleys are MUCH more fun!

 

[brianhos]

It's the reason that I've lost interest in dating anymore. Harleys are MUCH more fun!

Ummm, ok, I can think of something more fun to ride than a harley.

 

[Wx4Cy]

Mine is:biggrin:

that was sarcasm by the way.

 

[4VR4CY]

My husband is not a jerk, but I dated plenty of them.

Self esteem has a lot to do with women dating and staying with jerks.

 

[whirlybirds]

My husband is not a jerk, but I dated plenty of them.

Self esteem has a lot to do with women dating and staying with jerks.

And its always the most beautiful girls who date jerks. And the beautiful girls are the ones who have the lowest self esteem

 

[4VR4CY]

And its always the most beautiful girls who date jerks. And the beautiful girls are the ones who have the lowest self esteem

Surprisingly, some do. The catty ones have the lowest. Believe me, I was in a sorority during college. :yes:

 

[ericlambi]

My two cents . . . The worst thing a guy can be when he meets a woman is boring. Boring and nice are commonly correlated. Women don't like jerks, but they hate boring more.

 

[isuno1fan]

Chicks dig me.:biggrin:

 

[cloneu]

Chicks dig me.:biggrin:

Chicks dig the long ball.

On note with this topic though I think the above mention of nice guys being too boring and drive the ladies away at first has some merit.

 

[bos]

Chicks dig guys who play Travian.

 

[clones_jer]

Surprisingly, some do. The catty ones have the lowest. Believe me, I was in a sorority during college. :yes:

you were a soho? I don't believe it, do you have the party pants?

 

[Aldude505]

I dont know what some women think when they start dating jerk guys. It's kind of funny because every other guy can see that you are dating a jerk. Just waiting for you to get your heart broken so they can be there when you fall. Girls will keep going back for more from the same jerk guy again and again and I still haven't figured out why...But on the nice guy side, girls seem to look past a lot of nice guys probably because as was said earlier girls just don't like how 'boring' a nice relationship is. But in the end I have noticed that nice guys do win in the long run.

 

[tejasclone]

Hmm, I suspect this thread will open up some old wounds of high school angst. I've had plenty of experience of dealing with women who date/dated jerks, catching them on the rebound, then having them leave again for another jerk. It's awesome.

 

[Bobber]

But in the end I have noticed that nice guys do win in the long run.

For the most part, very true statement.

 

[Cyclonesrule91]

I am the father of 3 girls and personally I think a lot of what contributes to the decisions young women make in who they want to date has a lot to do with their relationship with their father and watching how their father treated their mother during their childhood. Getting approval and acceptance from Dad I think is very important and when that don't happen then they seek out acceptance in any way they can and that means sometimes not the best way.

Maybe I make it a whole lot more important then it might be, but I will do everything I can do to make sure my girls know my feelings for them and see that I treat their mother with all the love and respect that she deserves so they know how they are to be treated when they come to the age of dating........hopefully about 30....

 

[Phaedrus]

There are sound biological/genetic reasons for women dating "jerks". Jerks = aggressive, vigorous genes.

(What follows is a rather crude analysis, but the long version would be long and boring to most)
On a social note, "nice guys" tend to be intimidated by women who society deems as "beautiful". The "beautiful" women tend to be socially active, yet lonely. The only males who approach them are the a-holes with capacious egos. So, they are already dealing with a limited amount of choices of males.

To use crude terms, the "ugly" and the "beautiful" among females are rough places to be, biologically. Females of "average" appearance have the most social opportunities.

 

[Phaedrus]

Back to the subject at hand. I don't necessarily agree with the monickers of "nice" and "jerk" as they are conventionally applied to males. I've met "nice" men who at best, benevolently "neglect" the females in their lives.

And I've met guys who could be described as "jerks" who commit themselves to their female mate (as well as to their few friends) in ways that most "nice" guys could only hope to attain.

In social circles, I would be characterized closer to "jerk" than "nice", on the surface, (and yes, I've had no shortage of female mating opportunities) but on a deeper level, I bond and commit seldom, but when I do, it is a strong bond and commitment.

Here's a pic that I think gets to the heart of the matter: