Simmons revamped his "levels of losing" and I thought some really struck home with me. One good, one bad.
Level V: The Role Reversal
Definition: Any rivalry in which one team dominated another team for an extended period of time, then the perennial loser improbably turned the tables. ... Like when Beecher fought back against Schillinger in "Oz," knocked him out and even pulled a Najeh Davenport on his face. For the fans of the vanquished team, the most crushing part of the "Role Reversal" isn't the actual defeat as much as the loss of an ongoing edge over the fans from the other team. You lose the jokes, the arrogance and the unwavering confidence that the other team can't beat you. There's almost a karmic shift. You can feel it.
Worst Personal Example: None really - my teams have usually been the underdog.
Best Personal Example: Doesn't this totally describe the Iowa series? Honestly I think Iowa fans really miss that edge over us, and that's why it's so crushing to them to lose that game.
Level IV: The Guillotine
Definition: This one combines the devastation of The Broken Axle Game with sweeping bitterness and hostility. ... Your team's hanging tough (hell, they might even be winning), but you can feel the inevitable breakdown coming, and you keep waiting for the guillotine to drop, and you just know it's coming -- you know it -- and when it finally comes, you're angry that it happened and you're angry at yourself for contributing to the debilitating karma. ... These are the games when people end up whipping their remote controls against a wall or breaking their hands while pounding a coffee table. ... Too many of these and you'll end up in prison.
Best Example: Game 7 of the '97 World Series (Indians-Marlins), when Cleveland's Jose Mesa gave up the game-tying run in the ninth inning. Every Indians fan knew it was coming. Of course, the '97 World Series never happened, so it's probably a moot point. We need to get that one wiped out of the record books.
Personal Memory: Does this not describe the Mizzou and Kansas losses from '04 and '05? Just brutal games, the entire crowd could feel the loss coming, and then once it happened everybody just dragged themselves out of the stadium. I was in attendance for both and it just sounds exact to me.
Level XV: The Achilles' Heel
Definition: This defeat transcends the actual game, because it revealed something larger about your team, a fatal flaw exposed for everyone to see. ... Flare guns are fired, red flags are raised, doubt seeps into your team. ... Usually the beginning of the end. (You don't fully comprehend this until you're reflecting back on it.) Best Example: We just had two in the first month of the 2007 NFL season -- San Diego getting crushed by New England (the day everyone realized that Norv Turner and Ted Cottrell were prominently involved in the 2007 Chargers season), and Dallas crushing the Rex Grossman era in Chicago and causing Bears fans to start chanting "Griese! Griese!" (Like Brian Griese could ever save the day.)
Personal Memory: Is this not the Iowa game from this year? We totally exposed their offense and now everybody is doing to them what we did, and they can't stop it. The writing was on the wall. This is getting uncanny.
Level V: The Role Reversal
Definition: Any rivalry in which one team dominated another team for an extended period of time, then the perennial loser improbably turned the tables. ... Like when Beecher fought back against Schillinger in "Oz," knocked him out and even pulled a Najeh Davenport on his face. For the fans of the vanquished team, the most crushing part of the "Role Reversal" isn't the actual defeat as much as the loss of an ongoing edge over the fans from the other team. You lose the jokes, the arrogance and the unwavering confidence that the other team can't beat you. There's almost a karmic shift. You can feel it.
Worst Personal Example: None really - my teams have usually been the underdog.
Best Personal Example: Doesn't this totally describe the Iowa series? Honestly I think Iowa fans really miss that edge over us, and that's why it's so crushing to them to lose that game.
Level IV: The Guillotine
Definition: This one combines the devastation of The Broken Axle Game with sweeping bitterness and hostility. ... Your team's hanging tough (hell, they might even be winning), but you can feel the inevitable breakdown coming, and you keep waiting for the guillotine to drop, and you just know it's coming -- you know it -- and when it finally comes, you're angry that it happened and you're angry at yourself for contributing to the debilitating karma. ... These are the games when people end up whipping their remote controls against a wall or breaking their hands while pounding a coffee table. ... Too many of these and you'll end up in prison.
Best Example: Game 7 of the '97 World Series (Indians-Marlins), when Cleveland's Jose Mesa gave up the game-tying run in the ninth inning. Every Indians fan knew it was coming. Of course, the '97 World Series never happened, so it's probably a moot point. We need to get that one wiped out of the record books.
Personal Memory: Does this not describe the Mizzou and Kansas losses from '04 and '05? Just brutal games, the entire crowd could feel the loss coming, and then once it happened everybody just dragged themselves out of the stadium. I was in attendance for both and it just sounds exact to me.
Level XV: The Achilles' Heel
Definition: This defeat transcends the actual game, because it revealed something larger about your team, a fatal flaw exposed for everyone to see. ... Flare guns are fired, red flags are raised, doubt seeps into your team. ... Usually the beginning of the end. (You don't fully comprehend this until you're reflecting back on it.) Best Example: We just had two in the first month of the 2007 NFL season -- San Diego getting crushed by New England (the day everyone realized that Norv Turner and Ted Cottrell were prominently involved in the 2007 Chargers season), and Dallas crushing the Rex Grossman era in Chicago and causing Bears fans to start chanting "Griese! Griese!" (Like Brian Griese could ever save the day.)
Personal Memory: Is this not the Iowa game from this year? We totally exposed their offense and now everybody is doing to them what we did, and they can't stop it. The writing was on the wall. This is getting uncanny.
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