It is good to be back

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monkeybrow

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May 19, 2006
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Finally arrived back to mother Cy nation....feels like I never was on holiday...the weather is a mirror likeness to home.

Now I wish to nibble on some Rebel arse
 

monkeybrow

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May 19, 2006
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quite an interesting journey....met a likeable yank in the airport once arriving stateside..while waiting on my connection to Chicago. She observed my "iowa state alumni" sweat-top...wrinkled her brow with sexual intent...and leaned in close (with the ample goodies peeking at me mind you) to discuss in hushed terms. With the slight scent of vodka and mentos mints...she whispered " You are a hawkeye right? I almost went to school there."

I quickly ordered another drink and made note as to why I hate god.
 

CyinCo

Well-Known Member
Mar 24, 2006
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Clive, IA
quite an interesting journey....met a likeable yank in the airport once arriving stateside..while waiting on my connection to Chicago. She observed my "iowa state alumni" sweat-top...wrinkled her brow with sexual intent...and leaned in close (with the ample goodies peeking at me mind you) to discuss in hushed terms. With the slight scent of vodka and mentos mints...she whispered " You are a hawkeye right? I almost went to school there."

I quickly ordered another drink and made note as to why I hate god.

lol....Outside the state of Iowa, this happens to me often when traveling for work. Additionally, not many "football fans" even know Iowa State is in the Big XII conference.
 

monkeybrow

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May 19, 2006
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lol....Outside the state of Iowa, this happens to me often when traveling for work. Additionally, not many "football fans" even know Iowa State is in the Big XII conference.

sad really....one of the "true" and special places that I have been to....and is so vastly underrated.
 

monkeybrow

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May 19, 2006
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The offending lass above was from Chicago and did offer her contact digits....the question to you mates is this....Is all progress beyond repair once the massive faux paus is committed? Or does the self-respecting ISU Alumnus give her the hindquarters boot to the curb?

It is your call.
 

cyclonekj

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
1,180
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The offending lass above was from Chicago and did offer her contact digits....the question to you mates is this....Is all progress beyond repair once the massive faux paus is committed? Or does the self-respecting ISU Alumnus give her the hindquarters boot to the curb?

It is your call.

It all depends on the weather on your next visit to the Windy City. It can get quite chilly bunking alone there. Perhaps you could give her a lesson on the finer points of the Big Twelve in exchange for some of her finer points.
 

ornryactor

Well-Known Member
Jun 3, 2006
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Ames
The state of Iowa may only have one university but they sure do grow great potatoes there.

Back in the 80's, some enterprising young Iowa student printed up and sold a highly successful t-shirt. It was a gold shirt with black screenprinting on the front. It had a highly fancified (but fake) university crest on it that featured piles corn, potatoes, and buckeyes amidst the typical eagles and banners and books and such that is usually found on university crests. Around the edges it read: "The University of Iowa- Idaho City, Ohio"

It came from Iowa City, yes, but it's still clever, and it's a pretty good summary of our problem with ignorant coast-ers. Wish I could still find one...
 

monkeybrow

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May 19, 2006
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It all depends on the weather on your next visit to the Windy City. It can get quite chilly bunking alone there. Perhaps you could give her a lesson on the finer points of the Big Twelve in exchange for some of her finer points.


cyclonekj...

perhaps....have you been there?...nothing is better in the summer then feet up at the Drake....taking the L down to the grand Wrigley...have a fat weenie with onions.

as far as the gal above...her professionally enhanced "finer" points cannot equal out her obvious ingnorance of ISU...and I am not quite sure if I have the time to be the "professor henry higgins" to her "eliza doolittle". Takes away good beverage time.
 

cyclonekj

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
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cyclonekj...

perhaps....have you been there?...nothing is better in the summer then feet up at the Drake....taking the L down to the grand Wrigley...have a fat weenie with onions.

as far as the gal above...her professionally enhanced "finer" points cannot equal out her obvious ingnorance of ISU...and I am not quite sure if I have the time to be the "professor henry higgins" to her "eliza doolittle". Takes away good beverage time.

Yes, the lack of ISU knowledge is a big strike against her. But perhaps (being the perfect gentleman that you are, Monkey), you could make time to be the "Professor Ron Jeremy" to her "Jenna Jameson."

Now, as to where I have and haven't been. It is a much-storied and infamous past, but all I can say is "A gentleman never tells-- at least until after he has consumed many an adult beverage and his girlfriend is out of earshot."
 

monkeybrow

Member
May 19, 2006
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Yes, the lack of ISU knowledge is a big strike against her. But perhaps (being the perfect gentleman that you are, Monkey), you could make time to be the "Professor Ron Jeremy" to her "Jenna Jameson."

Now...I do not participate in the support of the amercian porn industry...So I cannot answer the above....(I break out in hives upon the sight of naked hotness)

Now, as to where I have and haven't been. It is a much-storied and infamous past, but all I can say is "A gentleman never tells-- at least until after he has consumed many an adult beverage and his girlfriend is out of earshot."

Very mysterious indeed...I shall visualize your past as a sordid affair...a high rolling market-stocks man that flamed out on booze...pills...and hot women...only to rise to power yet again thru his written memoirs which rocketed up the bestseller listing. Perhaps a congressional bid later on?
 

benjay

Well-Known Member
Mar 23, 2006
5,141
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lol....Outside the state of Iowa, this happens to me often when traveling for work. Additionally, not many "football fans" even know Iowa State is in the Big XII conference.


Last summer I was having beers with some locals in Cork, Ireland, and the first thing they asked me when I told them I'm from Iowa is if I went to Iowa State. The second thing was if I knew the members of Slipknot.

So I guess we've got that going for us.
 

cyclonekj

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
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Very mysterious indeed...I shall visualize your past as a sordid affair...a high rolling market-stocks man that flamed out on booze...pills...and hot women...only to rise to power yet again thru his written memoirs which rocketed up the bestseller listing. Perhaps a congressional bid later on?

You have nailed it, my friend! Spot on, except for one thing-- the memoirs. Well, neither have I bid on a congressman or on becoming one. And there really weren't any pills to speak of... or women, or affairs, especially of the sordid variety. I'm sorry, I guess you were slightly off the mark. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
 
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cyclonekj

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
1,180
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Last summer I was having beers with some locals in Cork, Ireland, and the first thing they asked me when I told them I'm from Iowa is if I went to Iowa State. The second thing was if I knew the members of Slipknot.

So I guess we've got that going for us.

Slipknot must be big over there. I was in Dublin a while before they really got popular and saw at least as many Slipknot t-shirts on locals in a weekend as I usually see at the Iowa State Fair.
 

monkeybrow

Member
May 19, 2006
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You have nailed, my friend! Spot on, except for one thing-- the memoirs. Well, neither have I bid on a congressman or on becoming one. And there really weren't any pills to speak of... or women, or affairs, especially of the sordid variety. I'm sorry, I guess you were slightly off the mark. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


you are very dodgy today...no...I rather think I am spot-on with my assessment. Right now I picture you huddled over the laptop in a Holiday Inn..bundles of cash on the table...several Columbian hotties sprawled about the bed...and 2 kilos of white dragon awaiting it's mule.

I can safely state that you are my hero as I submit yet another TPS report...
 

cyclonekj

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
1,180
64
48
you are very dodgy today...no...I rather think I am spot-on with my assessment. Right now I picture you huddled over the laptop in a Holiday Inn..bundles of cash on the table...several Columbian hotties sprawled about the bed...and 2 kilos of white dragon awaiting it's mule.

I can safely state that you are my hero as I submit yet another TPS report...

Hmmm... perhaps you were closer than I was willing to admit. Muling for the CIA is secretive business after all. Whoops! Cover blown! Abort mission! Abort! Abort! AAaaaaauuuuuuuggaaaaahhhhh! Aaaaaauuuuuugghhhaaahh! Thirty minutes until kick-off!

ps. Please remember to put the new cover sheet on all TPS reports. Did you get the memo?