Riddles and Jokes

Discussion in 'CF Archive Bin' started by guitarchitect7, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. guitarchitect7

    guitarchitect7 Well-Known Member

    Oct 8, 2006
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    I got a meeting this afternoon and thought I would see if any of you have some good jokes that could be used as to open things up. I know chadm did this once, so I am curious on how well that went as well.

    Plus I thought this could be fun!
     
  2. joepublic

    joepublic Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Ankeny
    Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to rollerblade?
    A: Telling your dad you are gay.

    That will get you fired.
     
  3. Cyclonesrule91

    Cyclonesrule91 Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
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    Q: What is an invisible man's favorite drink?
    A: Evaporated milk.

    My 7 yr old told me that one last night
     
  4. wolverine68

    wolverine68 Well-Known Member

    Mar 30, 2007
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    I found this at a site called boreme.com, I 've attempted to clean up the language...

     
  5. jdoggivjc

    jdoggivjc Well-Known Member

    Sep 27, 2006
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    A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

    First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
    'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

    "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

    "Read it? " the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."


    Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

    "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

    " Thank God, " said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."


    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

    Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

    "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
    You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT! "

    The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
     
  6. SuperCy

    SuperCy Well-Known Member

    Nov 30, 2006
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    What do you do to an elephant with three balls?

    Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
     
  7. guitarchitect7

    guitarchitect7 Well-Known Member

    Oct 8, 2006
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    Sadly enough, they might like it. Its just the way they are.:rolleyes5cz:

    Edit: its laid back is what I meant, not that anyone is homophobic or anything.
     
  8. cytech

    cytech Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
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    Hahaha now that was great
     
  9. Psyclone Brian

    Psyclone Brian Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    (retired) Military
    42°00'50"N 93°
    Still my favorite...

    Q. What do Hawkeye & Cyclone fans have in common?

    A. Neither have attended the University of Iowa
     
  10. clones_jer

    clones_jer Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2006
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    I have no idea why, but this one is killing me!!! :laugh8kb::laugh8kb::laugh8kb:
     
  11. clones_jer

    clones_jer Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2006
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    #11 clones_jer, Jul 17, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2007
    Two cows standing in a pasture, one says "hey, did you hear the herd down at farmer Johnsons place came down with mad cow disease?"

    other replies, "yeah, don't worry ... it doesn't affect us chickenz"
     
  12. guitarchitect7

    guitarchitect7 Well-Known Member

    Oct 8, 2006
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    pretty good guys. I expected more replies, must all be playing the new game.
     
  13. chadm

    chadm Giving it a go

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Went as well then as now.:rolleyes5cz:
     
  14. peteypie

    peteypie Well-Known Member

    Jun 20, 2007
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    Why did tigger have his head stuck in the toilet?

    He was looking for Pooh.
     
  15. Cyclonesrule91

    Cyclonesrule91 Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
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    Waukee
    You know why Giraffe's have long necks?

    Because their feet stink.
     
  16. SuperCy

    SuperCy Well-Known Member

    Nov 30, 2006
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    This could get worse than an hour with Duane and Floppy.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. clone52

    clone52 Well-Known Member

    Jun 27, 2006
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    "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

    Courtesy of Ramada Thompson.
     
  18. Cyclonesrule91

    Cyclonesrule91 Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
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    Q: Did you hear about the Dyslexic who tried committing suicide?

    A: He tried running behind a bus.
     
  19. CYKXBUT

    CYKXBUT Member

    Jul 21, 2006
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    From a six year old on the Duane and Floppy Show:
    What's invisible and smells like worms???
    Duane: "I don't know, what?"
    Six year old: "Bird farts!"
    Duane lost it big time! ROFLMAO
     
  20. Cyclonesrule91

    Cyclonesrule91 Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2006
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    Waukee
    Was in a EIU museum here a couple of weeks ago and they had a tribute to some faculty who came up with the following inventions:

    Ejection seats for helicopters
    Screen doors for submarines
     

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