Need Some Help

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by EYEoftheSTORM, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. EYEoftheSTORM

    EYEoftheSTORM Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2009
    2,744
    44
    48
    Ames, Iowa
    Hey guys, I am coming to you to ask for some help. I am sure that quite a few of you are married or at least dating, so I sure some of you have been through this before.

    My girlfriend turns 30 next month and it is really bothering her. She is always upset about everything and never wants to talk about it with me. I have tried alot but it never works, and she still stays upset. Its nothing that she is upset with me over just a bunch of things piled on top of being 30 soon.

    Any advice would help (I'm sure some of you guys have experienced this before) as I am about out of ideas and hate how she is always upset...

    Thank you in advance.
     
  2. azepp

    azepp Well-Known Member

    Dec 9, 2009
    3,964
    136
    63
    Ankeny
    She's a female and is upset about things - I guarantee she's talking to someone about it... Find out who that person is (hopefully a female friend of hers) and get the scoop.
     
  3. optimuslott

    optimuslott Active Member

    Sep 3, 2011
    152
    33
    28
    Public Health Analyst
    Ames, IA
    Hey dude,
    I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.

    Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.

    So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me :) Anyhoo, patience is your friend right now. Guys, like you and me, want to fix things and women (well who the heck knows). Anyhoo, be patient, acknowledge to her that you know something is up and you will be there when she is ready. To affirm the unconditional love component is always the best option!
     
  4. Cyhops

    Cyhops Member

    Nov 4, 2009
    511
    24
    18
    Propose, that will do the trick.
     
  5. Senolcyc

    Senolcyc Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2010
    3,234
    277
    83

    Nobody has the right to always be upset about everything. That is the definition of selfish. She has a problem and you can't fix it.

    Pay at the counter on your way out.
     
  6. 00clone

    00clone Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2011
    19,642
    489
    83
    "Before" picture model
    Iowa City area
    I don't know if this'll help, but generally, when I'm upset, I'm cheered up by most fried or grilled meat products. Maybe that's not her style.

    My wife tended to clam up when she was upset and it drove me nuts. I finally got thru to her when I said that I was driving myself nuts trying to figure out what was bothering her. Most of the time it was something else, she'd stew over it for a few days, then finally tell me what it was. Meanwhile, I could tell she was upset, and would rack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. I think when she realized that I cared enough to make myself miserable over her unhappiness, she knew I cared. Typical woman, they get happy realizing we're miserable.

    I would recommend trying to get at the heart of what's up with 30. Is it just the age thing? You mentioned girlfriend...my wife was stressing about not being married, having kids, etc. by a certain age in her mind's plan, so that's a possibility too. Either way, what about age 30 bugs her? Depending on what it is, the answer might be that the best thing you can do is shut up, or it might be that the two of you have some talking to do.
     
  7. Cyclonepride

    Cyclonepride Thought Police
    Staff Member

    Just be as supportive of her as you can, and let her know that you are always available to listen.

    My wife was stressed out with all we had to do when we got married, as we had to sell her townhome, move her down to my house, then get that house ready to sell, buy another house and then move there. It was a lot to handle all at once. I just repeatedly shifted the focus from EVERYTHING we had to do to the NEXT thing we had to do. When you look at all of your problems or tasks at once, they can seem insurmountable, so I tried to keep her (and our) focus on the next little step to the top of the mountain. It seemed to work pretty good.
     
  8. CYphyllis

    CYphyllis Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2010
    3,777
    252
    83
    Toss some uppers mixed with prescription meds into her cereal every morning.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. EYEoftheSTORM

    EYEoftheSTORM Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2009
    2,744
    44
    48
    Ames, Iowa
    Thank you for all the advice. It bothers me and I just dont know what to do here.
     
  10. GoCubsGo

    GoCubsGo Well-Known Member

    Jul 22, 2008
    1,331
    64
    48
    My advice - find a new girlfriend. Preferably one that doesn't stress over superficial ****.
     
  11. EYEoftheSTORM

    EYEoftheSTORM Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2009
    2,744
    44
    48
    Ames, Iowa
    Ha, Ill need some luck with that one.
     
  12. GeronimusClone

    GeronimusClone Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2008
    8,260
    614
    113
    Communications
    Des Moines, IA
    #12 GeronimusClone, Sep 29, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2011
    In other news:
    Water is wet
    Sky is blue

    Suggest a three-way. That may snap her out of it.
     
  13. jsmith86

    jsmith86 Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2006
    7,631
    246
    63
    Cedar Rapids
    Step 1: Cut a hole in a box.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  14. TruClone

    TruClone Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2009
    1,632
    69
    48
    Male
    Eldridge, IA
    I think you need to seek professional help for the use of the term "anyhoo" three times in your post!
     
  15. GeronimusClone

    GeronimusClone Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2008
    8,260
    614
    113
    Communications
    Des Moines, IA
    Using that word three times makes me think the referral to "wife" might be a loose interpretation.
     
  16. Cyclonestate78

    Cyclonestate78 Well-Known Member

    May 23, 2008
    12,203
    645
    113
    GeronimusClone was pre-med so I would take his advice. That and drinking heavily would be recommended.
     
  17. ISUAgronomist

    ISUAgronomist Well-Known Member

    Nov 5, 2009
    22,490
    1,250
    113
    Ag Research
    Close Enough, IA
    [​IMG]
     
  18. GeronimusClone

    GeronimusClone Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2008
    8,260
    614
    113
    Communications
    Des Moines, IA
    I'd be happy to write him a prescription.

    "Two women, take daily... any orifice."
     
  19. ISUAgronomist

    ISUAgronomist Well-Known Member

    Nov 5, 2009
    22,490
    1,250
    113
    Ag Research
    Close Enough, IA
    She's worried about getting "old". Do something low-key and nice for her birthday and it will pass.
     
  20. GeronimusClone

    GeronimusClone Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2008
    8,260
    614
    113
    Communications
    Des Moines, IA
    Something low key, like new dish washing gloves.
     

Share This Page