Family Drama Question?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by 19210, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. 19210

    19210 Well-Known Member

    Apr 19, 2006
    #1 19210, Apr 4, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2012
    Anybody else have any family members that you've had to cut ties with as it's not worth the drama?

    Just trying to figure out if it's just my family that is dysfunctional or maybe I'm just a "Richard". Family means a lot to me, but there are just a couple of members I no longer associate with because there are always issues.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. clonomaniac

    clonomaniac Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    St Louis, MO

    Not trying to be mean but how old are you?
  3. Cyclonepride

    Cyclonepride Thought Police
    Staff Member

    No, fortunately not. My extended family is very even tempered and responsible, though the families I've met through marriages and dating show me how very lucky I am in that regard (my current in laws are great).
  4. Bobber

    Bobber Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    Hudson, Iowa
    #4 Bobber, Apr 4, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2012
    My immediate family is pretty good other then my brother just got a divorce and don't see relations continuing with his ex who has a lot of "issues".

    Have been pretty fortunate overall in that respect.

    It happens a lot however. People are just so different and egos and honesty(or lack of) can get in the way pretty quick.
  5. 19210

    19210 Well-Known Member

    Apr 19, 2006
    I'm 40 so I don't think it's because I'm childish. I've always been the one who has looked out for and helped in times of need. It's just when they keep taking and don't have respect for anybody, but themselves, I had to say enough is enough.
  6. 3TrueFans

    3TrueFans Well-Known Member

    Sep 10, 2009
    Not cut ties with per say, but I don't go out of my way to see my sister, I just don't care for the way she lives her life, she lives 10 minutes away and I'll see her every couple months typically.
  7. mramseyISU

    mramseyISU Well-Known Member

    Nov 8, 2006
    Operator Station Engineer
    Waterloo, IA
    I don't speak with either of my parents. My dad is a bum that didn't feel the need to be around when I was growing up so I'm just returning the favor. My mom and I get a long more or less but she's married to a guy who should be going to prison soon for something I'm of the opinion he should be strung up from the highest tree in the county for and has took out a morgage on her house to hire a lawyer for the guy. I won't have my kids around that. Sure it's a bit painful around the holidays but it's better in the long run I believe.
  8. State43

    State43 Well-Known Member

    Nov 22, 2010
    Graphic Designer
    Omaha, NE
    When it comes to keeping in contact, I am the worst in general so if I don't like someone, i just never talk to them. I don't avoid anyone, i just hate talking on the phone. Immediate family is the only exception.
  9. optimuslott

    optimuslott Active Member

    Sep 3, 2011
    Public Health Analyst
    Ames, IA
    I'd cut any family member that uses the term "Richard". Kidding! :jimlad:
    Seriously, I cut my sister out five years ago for being 10 kinds of crazy. It sucks but sometimes you gotta clean up the clutter.
  10. NickTheGreat

    NickTheGreat Well-Known Member

    Jan 17, 2012
    We need details and/or pictures! :jimlad:
  11. mj4cy

    mj4cy Asst. Regional Manager
    Staff Member

    Mar 28, 2006
    Structural Engineer
    #11 mj4cy, Apr 4, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2012
    Just remember life is short so think twice about long term grudges.

    Edit: damn, quite profound for my 13,000th post!
  12. Mr Janny

    Mr Janny Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence
    Staff Member Bookie

    Mar 27, 2006
    #12 Mr Janny, Apr 4, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2012

    I think there's a sizable difference between holding a grudge and cutting someone out of your life because they have a harmful impact on you. Life is short, which is why you sometimes need to sever ties with someone who only has the ability to drag you down.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. IcSyU

    IcSyU Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2007
    Rochester, MN
    My aunt and uncle have been essentially exiled from the family. They have 3 kids and up until a few months ago the family would send gifts out for the kids for birthdays/holidays/etc. Well turns out my aunt was taking all of the gifts which were sent out there and returning them to buy herself gifts instead. This is a woman who doesn't work, spends 14 hours per day on Facebook, and is an awful parent.

    Truly is a shame my (used to be) kick *** uncle married the biggest ***** on the planet. :sad:
  14. mj4cy

    mj4cy Asst. Regional Manager
    Staff Member

    Mar 28, 2006
    Structural Engineer

    Definitely agree. I guess I meant, make sure you have good reasoning with your decisions. I know people who aren't on speaking terms over the dumbest things.
  15. nj829

    nj829 Well-Known Member

    Mar 18, 2006
    Northwest Arkansas
    Depends on the situation. Wife's brother is currently incarcerated for selling meth and violating parole for failure to pay child support. Have no interest in bringing him around my kids when he gets out. First time he spent 10 months, then got out, was going to change, all that BS.

    If you or your kids safety is compromised by having a family member around you or your kids, then it is absolutely ok to cut that person out of your life. If other family members can't understand that, then to heck with them as well.
  16. Wesley

    Wesley Well-Known Member

    Apr 12, 2006
    Envr Engr/Program Manager
    If you want to see how to solve drama, watch a couple days of Maury, Steve Wilkos and Jerry Springer.
  17. MNCyGuy

    MNCyGuy Well-Known Member

    Jan 14, 2009
    Des Moines
    Sounds like my wife's aunt and uncle. The aunt (her mom's actual sister) isn't somebody I'd go out of my way to spend time with, but isn't all that bad. The guy she married though is just a controlling weirdo. My mother-in-law once gave one of the kids a card with money for his birthday and the kid immediately said, "well, this will be the last time I see any of this money.". Guess he had a long history of keeping all the kids gift money for himself and not just to put in a savings account for them.

    He'd also flat-out told the aunt they weren't going to go to any of her family's event because of some perceived slight or disrespect. This Christmas was the first time they'd been at a family event in a long time. My wife had kind of alluded to why nobody was upset they never showed up, but I kind of assumed it had been exaggerated. Not the case. He harassed everyone to try his homemade potato wine all night, sat and pouted during the gift exchange that he declined to participate in, and was just a kind of weirdo and *** in general.
  18. wartknight

    wartknight Well-Known Member

    Mar 24, 2006
    Love my family, and extended family. We can be pretty screwed up but everyone gets along great and there is a lot of love when all the cousins (18) get together.

    My wife's extended family has some drama with divorces and some other things, but everyone does a pretty good job of leaving it out of gatherings and holidays which I am appreciative of.
  19. MartyMcCy

    MartyMcCy Active Member

    Sep 6, 2011
    #19 MartyMcCy, Apr 4, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2012
    [ame=""]I'm a Man! I'm 40! - YouTube[/ame]

    Back on topic: I personally don't have any problems with close family, but both my sister and my wife's sister have some really messed up in-laws. One set of parents took out a credit card in their son's name (since their credit was shot and they couldn't get a card), used it, and never paid the bills. It was really difficult for my sister in-law to buy a house since her in-laws ruined her husband's credit.
  20. oldman

    oldman Well-Known Member

    Nov 5, 2009
    I think my sister rescued my bro-in-law from his family. He's just a peach of a guy, hardworking, kind, a great dad. His mother once convinced him to take a hit and run driving rap for his brother, because his brother had enough prior troubles to wind up in jail. His insurance was screwed up for years. Same brother borrowed his truck for a couple days, a few years back. Put about 2000 miles on it. Turns out he used it to make a cross-country drug run with a seedy pal.

    You can't pick your family, but you can certainly unpick some of them.

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