Adultery in my workplace...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SpokaneCY, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. SpokaneCY

    SpokaneCY Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Manager of Natural Gas
    Spokane, WA
    My boss and my co-worker have had the very public appearance of a very private relationship for over a year now. I actually had to change cubes to get out of the line of fire as I got tired of all the cutesy sexual innuendo chat. Then last year, heard through the grapevine that the rumor was they WERE knocking boots. And to make it better, my co-workers husband sits about 40 feet away in another cube.

    I did the "proper" thing last year and informed my boss of the affair rumors thinking he was just being a ******* flirting with my co-worker and he'd check himself for professional office behavior. Their shenanigans continued and got worse (as did the rumor mill) until earlier this year when I approached one of my corporate coaches about how I should approach the situation. That was when I found out my co-worker and my friend about 40 feet away were getting divorced.

    So the company does an "investigation" and tells me that there was no "affair" to which I say "I don't care" since their antics have created an amazing rift and tension throughout our floor.

    THEN my friend getting divorced tells me about pages and pages of sex texts between my boss and my co-worker which the company does NOT know about. I've already been told by an executive to let it go even though my boss and my coworker are still both in my department.

    Other than the tricky legal ramifications of dropping the sexts on my VPs desk, should I just be a good boy and toe the line and just pretend that nothing has happened even though everyone laughs at these guys, and the office environment is toxic?
     
  2. DurangoCy

    DurangoCy Well-Known Member

    Jul 5, 2010
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    This thread has promise....
    drop the bomb on your way out the door to your new job.
     
  3. 3TrueFans

    3TrueFans Well-Known Member

    Sep 10, 2009
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    Ames
    Start job searching.
     
  4. klamath632

    klamath632 Well-Known Member

    Nov 19, 2011
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    You got it off your chest here. Leave it here. Like DurangoCy says, save it for your exit interview.
     
  5. Clonefan94

    Clonefan94 Well-Known Member

    Oct 18, 2006
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    Schaumburg, IL
    Sounds like the "executive" probably has some skeletons in his closet as well that your boss probably knows about. "I'll sink this mother****ing Ship! If I go down, we're all going down."
     
  6. SpokaneCY

    SpokaneCY Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Manager of Natural Gas
    Spokane, WA
    This is a toughie for me... Love my work, hate my work environment. Love the pension and benefits and pay, hate to see unethical and inappropriate behavior rule the day. I'm older now (49) so the idea of falling on my sword is less and less appealing. Besides I've done enough of that and have the scars to prove it.

    Maybe for now I'll just vent to ya'll.
     
  7. IAStubborn

    IAStubborn Well-Known Member

    Aug 16, 2012
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    No way you can win. If your friend hasnt reported you shouldn't.
     
  8. 3TrueFans

    3TrueFans Well-Known Member

    Sep 10, 2009
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    Is there no HR department?
     
  9. CyBroncos

    CyBroncos Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2010
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    West Des Moines
    Two things I've learned

    1. Don't try to hook up with co-workers

    2. Stay out of co-workers drama

    Just try to ignore it. That would be my advice
     
  10. LostinIowaCity

    Jan 15, 2011
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    Ames, IA
    If you have proof, I would go to HR with the information. You could be saving your company a ton of money from a lawsuit in the future. If you don't care about the company, I would just watch it burn.
     
  11. Doc

    Doc Well-Known Member

    Aug 6, 2006
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    Denver, CO
    You can't really do a whole lot without having people think that your friend 40 feet away did it to get back at his soon to be ex-wife. I'd take the guy she's divorcing out for beers, and if nothing comes up, I'd let it go, I guess.

    I now understand why things like these always go through HR where I work. If running it through a fairly independent HR person or division is an option, I'd go that route.
     
  12. michaelrr1

    michaelrr1 Well-Known Member

    Mar 30, 2006
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    WDM
  13. GrindingAway

    GrindingAway Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2006
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    If you are good friend with the guy 40 feet away from you, you should tell him to contact a lawyer. I won't go into detail, but based on observations of a similar rumored situation he likely has a case and you could quite possibly have a new supervisor.

    Beyond that I would refrain from discussing on a message board. No good can really come of this.
     
  14. Rabbuk

    Rabbuk Well-Known Member

    Mar 1, 2011
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    I think the ancient greeks had the right idea about economics, they viewed work as a way to self-sustain yourself in an almost biological way. Just a way to perpetuate yourself and remain alive. Enjoyment and self-fulfillment came outside the workplace. I guess I never understood people taking the crosses they bear at work and letting that cloud the good part of their life, but I'm 22 and I tend to let things roll off my shoulders.
     
  15. isulive2train

    isulive2train Well-Known Member

    Feb 24, 2009
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    Real Estate Mgmt
    Ciclón Nación
    [​IMG]

    Confront them.
     
  16. ribsnwhiskey

    ribsnwhiskey Well-Known Member

    Feb 6, 2009
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    1. Blackmail co-workers/boss
    2. ?????
    3. Profit
     
  17. ISUCyclones2015

    ISUCyclones2015 Well-Known Member

    Dec 19, 2010
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    I did a little something something with a coworker once. Was fired the day I was gonna quit because I had a new job. The kicker was that it was the boss' daughter. We dated for a little bit after that too in spite lol.
     
  18. DurangoCy

    DurangoCy Well-Known Member

    Jul 5, 2010
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    Durango, CO
    Yeah, his situation sounds horrific. Can't imagine dealing with that crap at work.
     
  19. SpokaneCY

    SpokaneCY Well-Known Member

    Apr 11, 2006
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    Manager of Natural Gas
    Spokane, WA
    After spending almost 30 years in the professional workforce, you find that working in close proximity to the same people for 10+ hours a day sorta BECOMES a big part of your life.
     
  20. CYCLNST8

    CYCLNST8 Well-Known Member

    Jul 19, 2008
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    Take your friend to the strip club and burn the office down. To the ground.
     

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