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  1. #1
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    San Francisco Cy's Avatar
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    Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Ok, for some reason, a friend of mine asked me to be his best man in his wedding. We won't get into that now.

    So, pretty much everybody that he wants to invite lives in Iowa except me. We had originally planned on going to Chicago for a Cubs game the last weekend in September vs. St Louis. Seemed to work out fine. But, then he had a conflict. so, we ended up realizing the only weekend that really worked out was Labor Day weekend.

    At first I was ok with it. But, as time has gone on, I realize I only get a chance to come back to the midwest every so often, and when I do, I want to see family. And, his plan was for to drive to Chicago on Friday night. stay overnight in Chicago Friday and Saturday, going to games both Saturday and Sunday, and then drive back Sunday night. As time went by, I started realizing how much of a time/money commitment that would be. Plus, I would have no time to see anybody else but the people in the bachelor party. I'd be about 100 miles from my family, and would have no time to see them. Not to mention, I'd be flying approximately for 14 hours (assuming no delays) and then driving for another 12+ hours.

    So, I called an audible and suggested doing something shorter and more locally. So, he thought maybe going to Omaha, golfing and going to the casino or clubs or what not, and I was cool with that. Then, started to realize that he wanted to head there and stay for two nights. And was pretty upset when he realized that I only intended to drive there Saturday morning, and back Sunday morning. So, he threw that idea out.

    Then, he decided that it would be good enough to just golf somewhere in Des Moines, and then go to the I-Cubs game. But, that we should get a skybox at the I-Cubs game. Keep in mind, he's only got like 5-6 people in mind for this bachelor party, and that would end up costing us at least $100 apiece. Again, I pretty much sucked it up, since that arrangement would still allow me to see other people, and not spend a ton. So, I was ready to book that.

    I thought we were on board with that plan, and then all of a sudden he comes up with this idea to skip golf, and go to Iowa City instead. Tailgate and then go watch iowa play against the other EIU or some other directional Illinois school. My opinion was I'd rather golf. And that I'd probably just end up tailgating during the game if we went there, rather than go to the game.

    My question is, after all of this, am I out of line? Am I a bad "best man" because I don't want to pay $50 to watch go to a game that I wouldn't even watch on tv? I mean, if everybody else in the group was going, I'd go, obvi. But, am I out of line if I decide to stay drinking with other non-hawk fans than go in for three hours and stare at the slutty college girls?


    Last edited by San Francisco Cy; 08-03-2010 at 08:58 PM.

  2. #2
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    How often do you make it back to the Midwest?

    How often does your friend get married?

    How close a friend?

    Also I think the title of this post is a oxymoron.



  3. #3
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Maybe your friend needs to quit changing the gameplan every 3 days. You owe him one day, if any.



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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    My opinion, do what the guy wants to do, then make up for it by being a sloppy mess at the wedding. That tux doesn't HAVE to stay on all night, you know.



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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    You both sound like chicks. Bachelor party, expect to spend money. Groom, be happy your buddies are there to get you hammered.



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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Changing the plans up all the time drives me nuts. If something were more concrete, everything would have been fine and sounds like you were willing to do all the above. So, I do not think you are a bad "best man" for thinking this way. Actually, when I got married I had two old ISU buddies in the wedding, and did not expect them to make it for my bachelor party. One was out on the east coast and the other was in Colorado....there was no worries since we all were going to see each other again at the wedding.

    Who are these guys that switch plans and EXPECT everyone to abide by their bs rules? That would get annoying real fast. Sounds like a chick IMO. (sorry ladies out there...in advance.)



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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by RyCy04 View Post
    You both sound like chicks. Bachelor party, expect to spend money. Groom, be happy your buddies are there to get you hammered.
    **** that noise. The OP lives in SF. If it important to the groom that this guy is with him during boy's last night out, then give him something that resembles a concrete gameplan.

    Only chicks switch things around 400 times and wait until the last minute to inform somebody traveling 2000 that they have indeed switched the plan while the plane was in the air.



  8. #8
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    The truth is you only owe this guy one night. Thats all for a bach party. You see each other the next day for a few hours then go about your business seeing your family. Thats the only smart thing to do. Its not like you apparently will be getting razzed or care all that much if he thinks this party sucks for only lasting one night. He needs to just be happy he's got 5 or 6 friends willing to stick by him at this point, especially since you are coming from san fran.



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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Dude, your the best man in a wedding. If it is only 6 of you total, $100 bucks isn't too bad for the I Cubs, or $50 is nothing for a day of tailgaiting, no matter where it is at. I agree with the 2 nights, don't really need to do it with only 6 people, unless you are going to vegas or Chicago. You should have just had everyone meet there.

    Whatever is decided, the guy getting married gets to pick and you are stuck with the decision, buck up and do it. I get the family thing, but really, I think they will understand. They should visit you more often, at least that is what I always say.

    This is the exact reason I did mine myself, I made the decision, whoever could be there was, end of story.


    No more Rhyming, I mean it.... Anybody want a Peanut?

  10. #10
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    This is why grooms shouldn't plan their own bachelor parties.



  11. #11
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Yea, the groom shouldn't have any say because if it's done properly then they shouldn't remember it anyway.



  12. #12
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    It's not just $100 for the I-Cubs or $50 for golf, that's in addition to the money he has to spend on airfare from SF, a couple nights in a hotel, maybe a car rental, all while on Labor Day weekend rates. High travel holiday means more expensive travel. Kinda sucks that he insisted you be the best man being so far away.

    When I got married, one of my best friends was doing a summer internship in Wyoming. I told him I'd like him to be a part of it as a groomsman, but understood if he couldn't make it.

    Could you put the responsibility for planning the party on the local guys? Then you could participate as much as you are able from a money/time standpoint.


    You can spend a lot of time and money picking out the perfect floral bouquet for your date ... but you're probably better off checking if you have bad breath and taking the porn out of the glove compartment.

    The moral: you gain more by not being stupid, than you do by being smart. Smart gets neutralized by other smart people. Stupid does not.

  13. #13
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Quote Originally Posted by GrindingAway View Post
    How often do you make it back to the Midwest?

    How often does your friend get married?

    How close a friend?

    Also I think the title of this post is a oxymoron.
    I would second this. Life is too short, enjoy what you can of it. I agree changing plans isn't fun, but does everything always go as planned anyway.


    "You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace." -- Ernie Banks



  14. #14
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    Yeah the best man plans the party. Groom does not get to decide what he is going to do. That is the whole premise of a party like this.
    Plus he is a Hawk fan.


    Nobody but HB knows for sure. You pretty much know nothing....like Knownothing would like to say.
    Word

  15. #15
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    Re: Bachelor Party Etiquette?

    The groom has no veto power. I've been to tons of these and the groom is just along for the ride.



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