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  1. #1
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    So there I was...minding my own business...

    ...watching my kids play in the park when I noticed 2 women talking about 40 feet away from me and one of them pointing in my direction. At first I figured they were downwind from me and succumbing to the hypnotizing smell of my Old Spice.

    One of them started towards me and I could tell from the look on her face it was not going to be a pleasant conversation. "Is that your dog?" she asked, pointing to Cael. I informed that I was Cael's master and wondered why it mattered to her. She told me that the dog should be on a leash at all times, especially near a park.

    I pointed to the parking lot and asked her which car was hers. She pointed out the stereotypical soccer mom mobile, a Honda Odyssey. I asked her why it was not chained to the tree it was parked next to. She looked at me, baffled at why I would ask.

    "Ma'am, I told Cael to 'stay' which is as secure as you putting your car in park."

    She started to raise her voice at me and as soon as she did ol' Cael started growling. She stopped, and the look of fear and want in her eyes was quite evident. It was obvious to me she hadn't been around a real man with a real dog for quite some time. She must be married to an accountant, they always have an effeminate air about them.

    Unfortunately for her I am happily married so I was not willing to put out the smoldering fire of lust that was building within her.

    If this was the wife of anyone who reads this, and you know who you are, I suggest getting a real dog, replace the Axe with Old Spice, and chop some firewood on the weekend to restore a little of her faith in your ability to provide for her.

    The next guy might not be so happily married.



  2. #2
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    What is it with you and your posts about your damn dog? This is weird...



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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    She was right. Cauliflower Ears should be on a leash.



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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Hey, it beats the hell out of another "weather" thread or the umpteen millionth "hypothetical" or "prediction" thread.

    *whistles the Old Spice jingle*



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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    and.......here we go again.


    ------------------------------------------------------------
    Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

  6. #6
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.




  7. #7
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Quote Originally Posted by nolookpass View Post
    ...watching my kids play in the park when I noticed 2 women talking about 40 feet away from me and one of them pointing in my direction. At first I figured they were downwind from me and succumbing to the hypnotizing smell of my Old Spice.

    One of them started towards me and I could tell from the look on her face it was not going to be a pleasant conversation. "Is that your dog?" she asked, pointing to Cael. I informed that I was Cael's master and wondered why it mattered to her. She told me that the dog should be on a leash at all times, especially near a park.

    I pointed to the parking lot and asked her which car was hers. She pointed out the stereotypical soccer mom mobile, a Honda Odyssey. I asked her why it was not chained to the tree it was parked next to. She looked at me, baffled at why I would ask.

    "Ma'am, I told Cael to 'stay' which is as secure as you putting your car in park."

    She started to raise her voice at me and as soon as she did ol' Cael started growling. She stopped, and the look of fear and want in her eyes was quite evident. It was obvious to me she hadn't been around a real man with a real dog for quite some time. She must be married to an accountant, they always have an effeminate air about them.

    Unfortunately for her I am happily married so I was not willing to put out the smoldering fire of lust that was building within her.

    If this was the wife of anyone who reads this, and you know who you are, I suggest getting a real dog, replace the Axe with Old Spice, and chop some firewood on the weekend to restore a little of her faith in your ability to provide for her.

    The next guy might not be so happily married.
    This is a reason to go.



  8. #8
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    I actually enjoyed this one.
    Oh, and was she hot?


    When Prepared, Fear No One.

  9. #9
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    I would like to have your dog fight mine...dog fight cage match to the death!

    My dog, Britney, will own Cael.



  10. #10
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    I found a video of nolookpass and Cael

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFAXv_OGdz0&feature=channel"]YouTube - Old Spice | Zoom :15[/ame]



  11. #11
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Quote Originally Posted by nolookpass View Post
    ...watching my kids play in the park when I noticed 2 women talking about 40 feet away from me and one of them pointing in my direction. At first I figured they were downwind from me and succumbing to the hypnotizing smell of my Old Spice.

    One of them started towards me and I could tell from the look on her face it was not going to be a pleasant conversation. "Is that your dog?" she asked, pointing to Cael. I informed that I was Cael's master and wondered why it mattered to her. She told me that the dog should be on a leash at all times, especially near a park.

    I pointed to the parking lot and asked her which car was hers. She pointed out the stereotypical soccer mom mobile, a Honda Odyssey. I asked her why it was not chained to the tree it was parked next to. She looked at me, baffled at why I would ask.

    "Ma'am, I told Cael to 'stay' which is as secure as you putting your car in park."

    She started to raise her voice at me and as soon as she did ol' Cael started growling. She stopped, and the look of fear and want in her eyes was quite evident. It was obvious to me she hadn't been around a real man with a real dog for quite some time. She must be married to an accountant, they always have an effeminate air about them.

    Unfortunately for her I am happily married so I was not willing to put out the smoldering fire of lust that was building within her.

    If this was the wife of anyone who reads this, and you know who you are, I suggest getting a real dog, replace the Axe with Old Spice, and chop some firewood on the weekend to restore a little of her faith in your ability to provide for her.

    The next guy might not be so happily married.

    Good stuff. What kind of dog is it?



  12. #12
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Quote Originally Posted by chuckd4735 View Post
    I would like to have your dog fight mine...dog fight cage match to the death!

    My dog, Britney, will own Cael.
    Clearly from the context of this story, the dog takes after his "master".

    Cael's butt probably smells like Old Spice, and if he gives her the time of day, would make Britney his *****, then proceed to lift his leg and mark his territory, which would again smell like manly Old Spice

    Your dog is no match for a real dog!


    Oh we will fight, fight, fight for Iowa State,
    and may her colors ever fly!!!
    In Accordance with Prophecy

  13. #13
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Quote Originally Posted by Flag Guy View Post
    Clearly from the context of this story, the dog takes after his "master".

    Cael's butt probably smells like Old Spice, and if he gives her the time of day, would make Britney his *****, then proceed to lift his leg and mark his territory, which would again smell like manly Old Spice

    Your dog is no match for a real dog!
    Dont ever underestimate the power of my Britney...



  14. #14
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    Quote Originally Posted by chuckd4735 View Post
    I would like to have your dog fight mine...dog fight cage match to the death!

    My dog, Britney, will own Cael.
    Why in the world would I want my dog to fight another dog? My dog has 3 jobs:

    1) Protect my family
    2) Protect me
    3) Protect my lawn

    My dog was not bred to be a fighter, he was bred to be a protector. Dog's can be great servants if raised/trained properly, but too often heathens like you enter the equation and devalue what a species can mean to their masters.

    Congratulations on being a poor man's Michael Vick (without the talent, money, etc.).



  15. #15
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    Re: So there I was...minding my own business...

    NLP, would you say your dog is as well trained as the dog from Turner and Hooch? Or far better?




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