GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1 - No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2 - When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3 - If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4 _ Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5 - You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6 - Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7 - Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8 - You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9 - Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10 - The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1 - Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2 - Wrinkles don't hurt.
3 - Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4 - Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5 - Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6 - Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1 - Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2 - Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3 - When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4 - You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5 - It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6 - Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7 - Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.